‘The pain in your eyes’ Apprentice star Jessica Cunningham shares emotional letter to daughters about their dad’s suicide

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  • Apprentice star Jessica Cunningham has written an emotional letter to her three daughters about their dad’s suicide earlier this year.

    Marking World Mental Health Day, the 30-year-old wrote an honest and open account of the family’s tragedy.

    Jessica was left devastated when her former partner and dad to her three girls Alistair Eccles, 35, took his own life at his home in Burnley in August this year.

    Opening up in a poignant blog post she reveals the horrific moment she had to break the news to her children, aged six, four and three.

    In the note – which was posted on her online blog Mother Of Maniacs – she vowed to ‘surround them with love’ as they grow up in the shadow of tragedy.

    Jessica wrote: ‘You were all still sleeping silently and innocently in bed without a care in the world.

    ‘Too little to understand the true extent of what had happened, and too young to deserve this unfairness of life.

    ‘One by one as I heard your tiny footsteps come down the stairs, my heart sank deeper into the pit of my stomach knowing I would have to tell you that daddy would not be picking you up this morning.

    ‘I wanted you to remember a day a little less painful, so went on a walk and we talked about life and death.’

    She described how her children you told her that when we die, we go to heaven, we sit on a cloud and we wave to the people we love. And it was then that she told them that their daddy had died.

    ‘The pain your eyes, the noise of your cry and the feeling of helplessness when I held you tight made me more determined to give you all that I have and be all that you need,’ she explained.

    The reality star revealed that she will one day tell her kids about their dad’s suicide, adding: ‘When the time is right, you will understand what happened and the he took his own life.

    ‘You will know that it was not your fault, that you not I, could change what happened. My beautiful girls, you grew up way too soon.’

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