Replying to emails at the nursery gates or missing a crucial meeting to make the school nativity play, is par for the course when you’re a working mum. There’s a lot to squeeze into the day, after all. But is there a price to pay for this delicate work/life balancing act?

According to a new research, it seems the constant juggle of parenting and maintaining a career is taking its toll on women’s mental health.

A survey by the mental health treatment clinic, Smart TMS, reveals that one in three working mums experience 'unmanageable levels' of anxiety and stress due to the pressure caused by a job and taking care of children.

Almost half of working mums also have severe anxiety when comparing their ability to work and take care of their kids, to that of others, said the results.

And the data showed that these are often silent struggles, with over a quarter of women feeling unable to share their mental health concerns with friends, family or colleagues, for fear of being negatively judged on being a good mother or employee.

Mum of three Sarah works full time as an accountant and said she's not at all surprised by the survey results and can relate to the women's responses.

"Some weeks are easier than others, but on the whole my stress levels are through the roof and I often feel like I’m clinging on by my fingernails. I look like I’m in control, but mostly I’m winging it at work and at home – I cry in the car when it all gets too much," she said.

Like over a third of the working mums polled, Sarah said that she's too busy to prioritise her mental-wellbeing, despite having symptoms of depression or anxiety. She also rarely shares how she's feeling with others.

READ MORE: Mum opens up about the 'guilt' of being a working mum in emotional social post

Commenting on the research, Gerard Barnes of Smart TMS, said “1 in 4 women say that they are struggling with their mental health problems in isolation out of fear of judgment from social circles or colleagues, it seems that close friends and family are no longer the safety net that they used to be.”

“More needs to be done to help people recognise symptoms of mental health conditions within their own behaviours and respond accordingly.

"It is also vital for working mothers to understand that they are just as prone to depression than anyone else, if not more so, and should ensure they have a strong support network and treatment options available if needed.”

If you're a mum, then you might be more than a little familiar with the term 'mum guilt'.

It's not clear where the phrase 'mum guilt' came from, yet the feeling of guilt associated with the many (many) aspects of being a mum can affect all of us in different ways.

From raising our voice when the little ones are playing up and giving in to demands of a takeaway, to not being able to afford absolutely every toy their hearts desire, mum guilt can come in all sorts of forms. Yet each mum is making daily decisions for her kids that she undoubtedly feels are for the best.

So why are we still giving ourselves such a hard time?

To delve a little deeper into just how many mums feel guilty and why, back in 2017, we spoke to 900 of you to find out all about your mum guilt - and the results were alarming.

A staggering 78% of mums revealed that they feel guilty, with 68% saying this occurred once or twice a day. The reason? The majority cited 'not spending enough time with the kids' as the main cause, and another 35% said 'not trying enough activities with the kids' was the reason for their guilt, while 34% blamed 'not being able to afford enough'.

More interesting still, 61% said they compared themselves to other mums but that the person who places the guilt on them the most is, surprise surprise, themselves. When we asked what the last thing was that made you feel guilty, there was a huge and varied range of responses...

What was the last thing that made you feel guilty?

We might all feel guilty for a huge variety of reasons - and when you're a mum, that list seems never ending. So here's the list of reasons you said you feel mum guilt for:

• 'Having to miss on a school play for work'
• 'Thinking, when the teacher needed to speak to me, that she was going to tell me my boy did something bad yesterday rather than to praise his behaviour'
• 'Not buying enough Christmas presents'
• 'I wasn't able to afford for my children to go on school holiday abroad'
• 'Spending money on myself'
• 'Having some time out after cleaning'
• 'Not baking together when I had planned to'
• 'My son felt I did not support him in an argument with his brother'
• 'Buying an expensive ready meal'
• 'Not adding money to my daughter's lunch account, as I was in a meeting and forgot, by the time I remembered lunch was over'
• 'My son wanted to cook cupcakes and I said no, as I had just cleaned the kitchen'

What exactly is mum guilt - and why do we experience it?

Dr Claire Halsey, a parenting expert and Clinical Psychologist, believes that mum guilt is just one of the many ways our brains keep us focused on doing a good job for our kids.

"Like most emotions it has a purpose and when seen as a positive message to ourselves it can be a helpful guide to how we approach parenting on a day to day basis.

"Parental guilt has certainly been around for a long time and is nothing new. However, as times have changed and there's more pressure to juggle work and looking after your child things have got a little more complicated."

Claire says that despite there being more pressure to be the perfect parent now than ever, it's important to remember that there's no such thing as perfect. "There is no problem in wanting to be the best parent you can, however expecting to be perfect in every way is an unreasonable pressure and a recipe for disappointment."

What mum guilt means to these mothers

Our survey uncovered a whole range of factors that seemed to contribute to your mum guilt, so we reached out to some of favourite mummy bloggers to get their (very honest) opinion on how mum guilt has affected them, and why they think it's such a huge thing.

Back in 2017, Sarah, who runs popular mummy blog The Unmumsy Mum, said, "I think it's worse nowadays because we have access to social media 24/7 and a lot of parental guilt stems from what you see online and comparing yourself to other people.

"There's nothing like having a niggling feeling of guilt and then scrolling through an Instagram feed full of people "winning" at parenthood."

Susie reckons social media is a lot to blame for mum guilt...

And Susie, who runs the This is Me Now blog, couldn't agree more. The blogger has two kids, and explained that she reckons social media is to blame for all of the constant comparisons - making everyone feel they're not quite 'good enough'.

She said, "It starts in the first few weeks after you’ve had your baby. You’re frankly eating anything to help you get through the sleep deprivation, yet most celebrity mums seem to look amazing just a few weeks after their children’s births. And your friend’s friend is back in her size 10s too – you know this because you’ve seen it on Facebook.

"The comparisons start and before you know it you’re left with low self-esteem and you start to feel guilty that you’re not stick thin and totally on top of this parenting thing.

"Then there’s all the decisions. Breast or bottle, purée or baby led weaning, work or stay at home? It goes on and on. Everyone seems to have an opinion on every aspect of parenting. Not only do we have to make all these decisions, but we can’t get away from reading what other people think of them."

She continued, "Did our mums feel this way? They probably felt guilty if they accidentally trapped our fingers in a door, but did they feel the constant relentless pressure to be the perfect mum? I suspect not. Because when they were new mums there just wasn’t this level of pressure. There weren’t all these online articles and social media feeds rammed with images that we have today."

Sarah Barnes, who blogs at Taming Twins, confirmed what many mums may feel, by revealing that no matter what decision you make, there's always something to feel guilty about. "If my kids are watching Netflix because I have to put the washing on, I'm either guilty because they're watching Netflix or guilty because I haven't done the washing - you have to choose which guilt you're going for!"

Dr Claire's advice for dealing with mum guilt

• Recognise 'mum guilt' as a helpful prompt from you to yourself to check you're getting your priorities right for your child, yourself and your family.
• Remind yourself that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, what your child needs most is your loving attention, a sense of security and time to play and explore and doesn't necessarily require the newest toys or schedule of activities.
• Look after yourself. Caring for yourself as an adult - for example by working, seeing friends or pursuing sports or interests whilst your child is well looked after by family, friends or in trusted child care - can recharge your batteries and make you a more calm and patient parent.

Mum Katie reveals how she took steps to tackle her mum guilt...

Katie from Mummy In A Tutu also explained to GoodtoKnow how she was able to overcome mum guilt.

She explained, "Don’t get me wrong, I used to be all about the mummy guilt. When our babies are born it’s like we receive an injection of it and it runs free in our veins forever more!

"However, it occurred to me randomly one day that I needed to cut myself some serious slack."

For Katie, it was all about realising that her daughter couldn't be happier, even if she hadn't perfectly washed and ironed all of her clothes!

She wrote, "Take a look at your child – if, like mine, they’re happy, clean, healthy, fed and loved then guess what?! You’re doing a brilliant job. IF you manage to do some painting with them, or take them to the park, or have every item of their clothing wash, dried, ironed and back in their drawers five minutes after they have taken them off then that’s brilliant too, but it’s not a necessity.

"So if you’re going to kill yourself doing all that then stop, take a breath, and remember that in the long run if the washing isn’t done that day, it doesn’t matter."

"Reading back, I swear the me from three or four months ago wouldn’t have recognised the person writing this now," Katie continued. "I used to suffer hugely from mummy guilt for the tiniest thing. Then I realised that the energy I was wasting worrying and feeling bad could be spent getting the things done I was worried about in the first place, and if they didn’t get done, well, there was always tomorrow."

Survey results and mums' comments based on GoodtoKnow content from 2017.

Michelle Heaton has faced backlash after opening up about mum guilt.

The mum-of-two, who earlier this year spoke about her cancer fears for her children, took to social media to vent about how she was ‘gutted’ about how she made her daughter feel during a recent video call.

She posted on Instagram a black and white image that displayed an emotional video call between her and her six-year-old daughter, Faith.

Alongside the monochrome screenshot, that showed the mother and daughter both in tears, she wrote a caption explaining why they were ‘a bit upset’.

‘My heart is broken,’ wrote the stage actress. ‘My little girl was so upset I got sent home with a migraine from tech day in panto,’ she explained.

‘I hate letting people down so I got a bit upset when I spoke to her.. she gutted to see me upset.’

She added: ‘I’m more gutted I made her cry’.

Some followers left messages of support for Michelle, writing: ‘Aww it’s so tough being a working mum but we all do it for our kids and they will realise that when they are a little older. Hope you feel better soon and a good nights sleep can make things feel so much better in the morning’ and ‘You’re showing her good values of hard work sacrifice and love, she will understand in years to come and be so proud of you’.

However, others were quick to question the former Liberty X member’s parenting techniques, saying shouldn’t be offloading onto her young child.

‘Is she not a bit young to be taking all of your emotional issues on board?’ wrote one Instagram user.

But other fans then jumped to Michelle’s defence, saying that her daughter is ‘hardly taking on all her emotional issues’ and that they think it’s ‘fantastic that her child can open up to her’.

Fearne Cotton has opened up about the importance of carving out time for yourself, especially when you become a mum.

Author, radio presenter and TV personality Fearne Cotton has recently launched her latest collection for the Boots Mini Club range and admits juggling work and family life is a constant struggle.

Speaking to GoodtoKnow, mum-of-two Fearne who is married to musician Jesse Wood, admitted that no matter how hard you try, you’ll probably feel some level of guilt when you become a mum.

She said: ‘It is definitely hard, there is no way around it. It's a constant juggle and it is challenging and there is a lot of guilt, it's the same for any woman. Whether they have chosen to go back full time or  not to work, there are tricky feelings around it - you just have to do what feels right for you.'

Fearne admitted: ‘I'm trying to do a bit of both and sometimes I feel like I've nailed it, and I've had a good week - and other times, I don't feel I have. It's a working progress.’

Even with a busy work schedule Fearne stresses you have to find time to wind down too, so that you don’t lose yourself in parenthood and work.

She stressed: ‘There is no free time, so it is carving out chunks of time. It's important for me and Jesse, we both do it.

‘I am lucky that my work is really enjoyable, so I have a big creative outlet in that way, but when I'm at home and Jesse is there, then I love going on a run or doing a bit of yoga or just reading in bed at night... just time when it is me, and I can either think or not think and just be without the chaos of family life.’

Fearne emphasises that although it’s lovely having a hectic family life, it can still be very draining and like everyone she enjoys a break from it.

She said: ‘And it is lovely chaos but it is a chaos,  so it is really important that people find something that makes you feel good. It will be different for everyone but you need to have a little something otherwise you do go a but stir crazy with it all.’

How do you wind down from family life and work? Do you have any tips that work well for you and your family? Head over to our Facebook page to join the conversation, we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Nadia Sawalha has revealed that she feels incredibly guilty for not protecting and preparing her children more from the horrors that can be found on the Internet.

Regular Loose Women panellist Nadia often opens up about her parenting approach and is always honest if she feels like she could approached things differently.

Like many parents there are occasions where on reflection, Nadia feels like she could have done more to help her children.

One particular event swas the topic of her latest YouTube video discussion. Nadia explained that her oldest daughter Maddie, watched something incredibly frightening on the Internet and Nadia feels like she could have done more to protect her from this.

Nadia is very close to her daughters 

She admitted: 'In a way I've neglected my children when it comes to the whole online world. There has been so many things that have happened that when I put them all together I really realise how much has gone on, and how many awful things that have happened. And really I feel really responsible for that.'

The mum-of-two explained: 'My kids have been through so much when they are upstairs in their bedrooms [on their phones] and I haven’t even known half of it.'

Recalling one particular example Nadia said: 'For instance, Maddie told me when she was at school, this boy just clicked his phone and showed her a beheading. I mean imagine that. You see a beheading, you get no counselling or anything after that. If someone had come back from war and seen that they would get counselling. There is so much going on in the online world that we just don't know about. I mean, I feel really guilty.'

Nadia also referenced but didn't go into detail about the occasion her daughter Maddie was flashed at online by three men when she was aged just nine-years-old. 

Like many parents Nadia is still trying to navigate the online world and admits she is doing her best to protect her daughters Maddie and Kiki.

The video was partly to promote Nadia and Kaye Adam's new book Parent Alert, which aims to help parents keep their children safe online.

Fellow parents reassured the mum-of-two in the comments section and thanked her for being so honest.

One person said: 'This kind of honesty is needed from more parents. Appreciate it. We all feel guilt..morning, noon and night. We do need to give ourselves a break. Either we are too fussy or too carefree...can't win!'

Another wrote: 'It's ok my dear, mistakes happen, and don't forget that you are a fantastic mother.'

A third added: 'Don't beat yourself up Nadia, like you said, you're the first generation of parents to deal with this... Meaning you have to learn from mistakes and teach yourself on the go.'

Do you worry that you are not protecting your children from the Internet? Do you feel like you should or could do more? Join the conversation over on our Facebook page to let us know your thoughts!

Giovanna Fletcher is over the six month mark of her third pregnancy and is likely to be feeling more emotional than ever.

If being pregnant wasn't enough, the best-selling author also revealed that she had fractured her toe just a few days before flying for a family trip to Italy.

Giovanna and Tom have been posting lots of adorable pictures from sunny Italy on their Instagram accounts, but one of Giovanna's most recent picture captions has struck a chord with other working mums.

The picture shows Giovanna smiling as she sits back on a sun lounger, holding her bump and you can see Tom in the background with two-year-old Buddy and four-year-old Buzz.

Giovanna explains that she has felt a mix of excitement and frustration over the holiday as she was so looking forward to the break but has been limited in what she can do with the boys while she rests her foot.

She wrote: 'Love this pic. All of us, captured by my uncle. I’ve been looking forward to being away from my desk and "out of office", and I must admit I’ve been getting quite frustrated that I’ve not able to get up and run around with the boys, or, at the very least, sit and build sandcastles with them thanks to my injury.'

Giovanna then revealed that when reading Buzz his bedtime story, the four-year-old broke her heart and left her in tears because he said he wished she could play more.

She said: 'Tonight we were reading Peppa Pig’s Family Computer. When we were reading about Mummy Pig having lots of important work to do, Buzz said he didn’t like it when I had lots of important work to do. He said he wants me only to do a little bit. When I asked what he wanted me to do instead he replied simply ‘play’. I cried.

'I was looking forward to doing just that on this trip and instead have been forced to rest up and protect my broken toe. That said, I’ll be running around with them soon enough, and it’s been great to just sit and watch them interact, play, explore and discover. Xxx'.

Several parents have written on the post and revealed that they have felt the same guilt as Giovanna but that at the moment the best thing for her to do is ensure she fully recovers.

One person wrote: 'Mum guilt gets us all. You look amazing btw! 😍'.

Another said: 'Ahhhh motherhood! It’s so emotional. You are so loved by your boys (because they will want your attention 24/7 no matter how much you give) & you are also such an inspiration to them (of what an ambitious and productive woman looks like). You are wonderful 💖'.

A third added: 'Great photo! The guilt never ends but just look at that photo and see that the boys have a wonderful dad who gives them all the love and attention too. They’re very lucky boys! Hope you’re better soon. xxx'.

Rest up Giovanna, soon you'll have a third bundle of joy to run around after!

Rochelle Humes has opened up about 'mum guilt', as she revealed a very relatable parenting dilemma on social media.

Taking to Instagram, the 29-year-old explained to her one million followers how telling one of her daughters off left her feeling guilty.

Rochelle said they were out for dinner when her daughter, four-year-old Alaia-Mai, started to have a 'bit of an attitude'.

In order to tell her off, the mum-of-two confiscated her iPad but doing that to her little one left her feeling like 'sh*t'.

'Anyone else feel awful after telling their little ones off?', she wrote.

'We were out for dinner tonight and Alaia (who is very tired from the weekend) had a bit of an attitude. I've confiscated the iPad but now I feel like sh*t'.

The mum included a poll in her post and it was clear many parents have faced the same feeling, as 77 per cent answered yes.

Rochelle and Marvin's daughter Alaia was probably tired from the fun weekend she had celebrating her dad's birthday.

One of Marvin's surprises during the weekend was a visit from Rochelle at his radio studio, where he records The Official Vodafone Big Top 40.

The former JLS star, who turned 33 on Sunday, said of the surprise: 'It's been an amazing day, and extra special being able to bring the missus to work. She's arranged a brilliant cake with loads of sweets on it, balloons and baby photos – it was a really lovely surprise – I was not expecting that!'

Rochelle later posted on Instagram to announce that her birthday is today, so it sounds like her two little girls are in for even more fun times.

Sharing a baby picture of herself, Rochelle wrote on Instagram: '#MOOD It's my Birthday Bishes!!! 😆 A little throwback from my Mum this morning... #outfitgoals'.

Fans were quick to wish the star a happy birthday, who turns 29 today. One said: 'happy birthday rochelle you absolute beauty!😘', while another commented: 'Happy birthday @rochellehumes hope you have a wonderful day and @marvinhumes spoils you rotten! 😉❤️'.

Rochelle and Marvin tied the knot in 2012, and had their first child, Alaia, a year later, in 2013.

The pair had their second child, Valentina, last year and recently celebrated her first birthday.

Both parents are very protective of their children's privacy and don't post pictures of their faces on social media.

Speaking of their decision, Rochelle has previously said: 'As their parent I choose to protect their privacy until they are old enough to choose whether or not they want to be in the public eye. Nothing to do with me thinking I'm someone I'm not, I just want them to decide. Everybody in life parents different and that's our prerogative.'

Have you ever felt guilty after telling your child off? Let us know in the comments section below!

Maya Vorderstrasse, a blogger known for being honest about the realities of motherhood on Instagram, has been praised for posting a powerful picture where she shows there's no right way to feed a baby.

The Instagram star posted a snap of herself simultaneously breastfeeding her almost two-month-old daughter, Hazel, while also formula feeding her 13-month-old daughter, Zoey.

In the caption, Maya explained how the guilt 'consumed' her when she stopped being able to breastfeed her first daughter after her milk dried up.

'I always dreamed I would breastfeed my child as long as I could. I've seen so many beautiful and amazing journeys through the bonding and comforting experience that it is,' she wrote.

'I breastfed my first daughter until she was 6 months old, and I loved all of it. It was our time together, so special...and no one could take that from me. I got pregnant when she was 2 months old and by the time she was almost 6 months old, my milk was gone, dried up, like, it disappeared.

'I felt my heart shatter, and the guilt consumed me. We had to start bottle feeding and I thought our bond would disappear and that she would think I was not providing for her.'

But then the mum goes on to describe how she had the light bulb moment when she realised she was still having her time with her daughter, and she was still being 'fed' and 'loved'.

'Nnothing had changed. It was still our time, she'd still grab my hair and smile at me with her eyes. She was so happy. Fed. Loved.'

Now she's breastfeeding her youngest daughter, Maya says she won't let herself feel guilty or inadequate if she has to stop.

'Now I breastfeed my youngest, but the comfort of knowing that if life throws me a curved ball and I have to stop, or even if I decide to stop, she will be ok. Feeding them is beautiful. Providing for them, seeing them gain weight, grow and smile and be milk drunk makes my heart jump in happiness,' she said.

'So I don't know about your journey, but I can tell you that whatever your choice or circumstance, don't ever feel guilty or like you are inadequate. Ever. Just love them and do the best you can. You're a rockstar. No. Matter. What. Whatever your feeding routine consists of, it is hard being a mother, so let's show support for each other! To me, fed is best.'

Many fans took to the comments section to praise the mum, sharing their own experiences of feeding their babies and encountering difficulties.

'This is the most beautiful, and truthful thing i have read all day. Thank you for this', one wrote.

Another commented: 'I had feeding issues from the get go with my oldest, went to bottles exclusively by 4mos. I made a choice early on to bottle feed my now 2 month old & what you said is exactly right - the bond is still there. We're still nourishing, loving, bonding with our babies no matter what. A healthy mama & healthy baby are the most important things we can ask for. Love everything about this. ❤️'

A third agreed: 'This is such a beautiful photo and message. FED IS BEST, whether that be from a breast or bottle. I have been fortunate enough to nurse both of my babes, and I know not EVERY woman can do so. It's been a blessing to say the least. You seem like an amazing mother ♡'

Stacey from Kickstartbabies was selected as one of our BISS December winners and in her guest blog explains what 'mumxiety' means to her, and how she's overcome those niggling feelings of negativity...

Wondering what 'mumxiety' is? Allow me to enlighten you. To me, mumxiety can be anything from those daily, niggling feelings of guilt in the back of my mind (yep - we all have them!) to those terrifying, all-out pangs of 'I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong' mummy-worry.

Even if we start the day consciously trying to relax and not let the little things get to us, it seems there's always something to trip us up and send us reeling back into the pits of mumxiety.

(Take Charlotte from SATC as an example. She spent an entire week worrying and whittling over drinking the water in Mexico... she finally relaxed, let her guard down, opened her mouth in the shower, and consequently... well... she crapped herself.)

I think mumxiety is very similar to that. We're constantly crapping ourselves about crapping ourselves. We've just got to be able to laugh when the inevitable happens, and know that all the whittling and worrying really isn't necessary, because some days, crap's just going to happen.

I was first introduced to anxiety when I birthed it, along with my twins and a couple of placentas.

(Ok, so apparently, I didn't 'give birth', I had them out the sunroof. But this is my point exactly...) When I took on my new role as mummy, I soon realised that regardless of what worked for me, there was 'apparently' a right and wrong way of doing things, giving birth included.

I was thrown into a steaming pit of unwanted opinions, questions and pushy decisions on my version of motherhood. Like how I was feeding them, sleeping arrangements, why their names sounded like gangsters, how we'd need a girl next to complete our family, not to mention the unconventional route we'd taken just to get pregnant. I felt huge pressures on what was expected of me. Social media, magazines, adverts and toddler groups all painted this perfect picture of what motherhood should look like. But what it looked like on someone else, didn't look good on me. I've slowly learnt that that's ok.

In the first few days I buckled under the pressure of 'breast is best', sobbing as I pumped my leaky, cracked nipples to keep up with the demand of two babies in neo that my body hadn't been ready to birth. Even though I didn't want to do it in the first place, I didn't say, through fear of sounding like a selfish, new mother and little by little, I let it bleed into every vein of my first 18 months of motherhood, and I regret that.

It's taken me a long time to realise that actually, being the 'best' mum means being a happy mum.

Don't get me wrong, I still have moments where I lie about being busy because I'm still in my dressing gown, changing my fifth nappy on three hours sleep, and when I get hot sweats at the very thought of toddler groups. While other mums have perfect hair that's been washed with actual shampoo, I'm happy to admit that I buy £31 worth of online shopping from ASDA that I don't need, just to get the £9 worth of shopping that I actually do, without leaving the house. But that's ok!

Remember this, fellow mumxiety sufferer: the biggest judge of all is actually yourself! So please stop your pointy finger!

Stacey was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our December linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.

Kim from If The Baby Allows won our BISS November competition and in her guest blog reveals why she decided it was high time to let go of mum guilt and start being her again...

Red leather, embossed, cross body, delightfully amazing, SS17 handbag. As I sat staring at the wonderful specimen on the screen in front of me, I wondered how I ever managed to get dressed in the morning without being able to adorn myself with that beauty.

I decide it would look great with the outfit I put together for my night out with the girls. It's also very Instaworthy - think of all the hashtags with that one! High five to me!

Quite happy with my decision, I approached the checkout button thinking 'this time I've nailed it', however a sudden wave of anxiety came over me, a familiar feeling that most mums come into contact with regularly – the big MG - mum guilt.

There are different levels to mum guilt. For some it might be the guilt of being a working mum. For others, it's guilt from self-indulgence and that's just the lowest of the low on the guilt spectrum isn't it? Guilt created not from necessity, but from the fulfilment of selfish desires.

A downward spiral of thoughts commenced. 'Imagine what could've been done with the money you spent on clothes? And the time you spent getting dressed up and gabbing with friends? Or blogging? It's precious time stolen from your babies. Plus, who exactly do you think you are prancing around in that get up? Trollop. You're a mum, your life's purpose is to mother and that doesn't need to be fulfilled donning a Gucci loafer.'

I can hear the earth mothers gasping at such frivolity, unable to comprehend this, as crocs do just fine.

This then lead me to recall my past guilt-ridden moments in sudden and rather alarming flashbacks. Drip feeding dolly mixtures to keep the kids quiet whilst I get my shopping fix, the extra half hour in front of Cbeebies so that I could perfect my blow dry, cutting the park visit short because there's an ASOS order being delivered in the next hour.

So, if this is self-inflicted then why not just stop? Give it up and embrace the inner mumsy guilt-free lifestyle. After the traumas of TTC, pregnancy, birth and new motherhood, the desire to feel normal again is huge. Plus, there's the added pressure to bounce back and be a 'yummy mummy' (cringe).

My conclusion? It's all about balance and finding your normal. If it means you buy THAT handbag, release your inner trollop, and start putting outfit pictures on Instagram (how juvenile of you) then so be it. I've come to the realisation that if you put some credit into the me machine, a big flashing neon sign doesn't fall from the sky saying 'BAD MUM ALERT' and actually in the grand scheme of things, no one cares.

Quite happy with this conclusion, the laptop was reopened and the 'no need to be justified' justified bag purchase was about to be made, ready to top up the feel-good factor. However, something as equally horrifying as MG pops up on the screen. SOLD OUT. #GUTTED

Kim was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our November linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.

Katie from Mummy In A Tutu won our BISS November competition and in her guest blog reveals how (and why) she finally managed to overcome her mum guilt...

Picture it. I hear a shrill shout of 'mum' down the baby monitor alerting me to the fact that my darling daughter was awake for the day - this was shrill shout number five from the last 12 hours as my 18 month old had suddenly decided that the sleeping patterns of a newborn are much better than her previous ones.

So, like the mombie that I am I trudged into her room, wished her good morning and went to the dresser to retrieve her clothes for the day. Opening a drawer, I saw it was empty. Glancing over to her wash basket, I noticed the pile of washing I was meant to do yesterday - still sat there - meaning I had no vests to put my daughter in on this cold day, and had to supplement with a long-sleeved t-shirt and an extra pair of leggings. I suppose now is where I should begin feeling that fabulous mummy guilt...

But I don't. Yes, it's not an ideal situation that I've run out of vests and have a mountain of washing to do, but it isn't the end of the world, is it?! By adding an extra t-shirt and pair of leggings she'll be just as warm, if not warmer, and it's not like we're going anywhere today anyway (wait, does that also mean I should feel mummy guilty because I don't have a meticulous plan of learning and adventure activities arranged?!) NO!

Don't get me wrong, I used to be all about the mummy guilt. When our babies are born it's like we receive an injection of it and it runs free in our veins forever more! However, it occurred to me randomly one day that I needed to cut myself some serious slack.

Take a look at your child – if, like mine, they're happy, clean, healthy, fed and loved then guess what?! You're doing a brilliant job. IF you manage to do some painting with them, or take them to the park, or have every item of their clothing wash, dried, ironed and back in their drawers five minutes after they have taken them off then that's brilliant too, but it's not a necessity. So if you're going to kill yourself doing all that then stop, take a breath, and remember that in the long run if the washing isn't done that day, it doesn't matter.

Reading back, I swear the me from three or four months ago wouldn't have recognised the person writing this now. I used to suffer hugely from mummy guilt for the tiniest thing. Then I realised that the energy I was wasting worrying and feeling bad could be spent getting the things done I was worried about in the first place, and if they didn't get done, well, there was always tomorrow.

So before you let the mummy guilt close in next time have a think – you're doing your best and that's all that matters!

Katie was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our November linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.

Susie from This Is Me Now won our BISS November competition and in her guest blog explains why it's high time we stopped comparing ourselves to each other...

Ah, the dreaded mum guilt. In this 21st century, smart phone addicted, media driven society, will it ever go away?

It starts in the first few weeks after you've had your baby. You're frankly eating anything to help you get through the sleep deprivation, yet most celebrity mums seem to look amazing just a few weeks after their children's births. And your friend's friend is back in her size 10s too - you know this because you've seen it on Facebook. The comparisons start and before you know it you're left with low self-esteem and you start to feel guilty that you're not stick thin and totally on top of this parenting thing.

Then there's all the decisions. Breast or bottle, purée or baby led weaning, work or stay at home? It goes on and on. Everyone seems to have an opinion on every aspect of parenting. Not only do we have to make all these decisions, but we can't get away from reading what other people think of them. We open our phones, read articles and go on social media, and feel bombarded with how we 'should' parent. These opinions come crashing down over us like a giant wave, and the guilt about whether or not we're doing the right thing threatens to take us under. Most of us are just struggling to tread water and stay afloat.

Scroll through Instagram and amongst the photos of your friends who you actually like, and more importantly, actually know, are complete strangers who seem to have it all. The mum guilt ramps up a level. Why can't I make Pinterest-inspired crafts, bake masterpieces and do my own sensory play at home? Why am I not a size 8 super stylish yummy mummy? I just wear jeans, top and pumps every day, and try and hide my muffin top.

Did our mums feel this way? They probably felt guilty if they accidentally trapped our fingers in a door, but did they feel the constant relentless pressure to be the perfect mum? I suspect not. Because when they were new mums there just wasn't this level of pressure. There weren't all these online articles and social media feeds rammed with images that we have today.

It's taken me two years of parenting to realise that modern life, the media, particularly social media, is fuelling the majority of my mum guilt. We are judging ourselves based on what we perceive to be 'perfect' mums in the media, on Instagram and Facebook. But I'm pretty sure they don't exist. We only see what people want us to see. And who cares if your decision is different to your best friend's, your sister's, or your old university friend's (who you haven't actually spoken to for eight years, but stalk on Facebook)?

It's time to trust in our own abilities to make the right decisions for our families. Perhaps we'd all feel a bit less mum guilt if we stopped looking at our phones, and just lived.

Susie was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our November linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.

Laura from Beyond The NICU won our BISS November competition and in her guest blog reveals what mum guilt feels like as a preemie mum...

Everyone has an internal monologue of feelings you can't prevent. A vicious voice of doubt. A voice asking 'what if' and filling your head with words like 'should've and 'could've'. Guilt can plague you in many situations but none more so than when you have produced your own small human for whom you are responsible.

I've always felt guilty about things. A history of anxiety and depression means I have many unwelcome thoughts in my brain. Guilt that I didn't think more carefully about my career, that I hadn't spent more time with my grandfather even though I was there weekly, that my little sister had inherited bad traits from me. I could go on. I won't.

I knew that being a mum means you worry about your child's wellbeing/health/happiness/everything. I expected it. I didn't expect this magnitude. Why couldn't I have done this? How can I not do that? What if? Should I? Could I have done that?

My story comes with an extra helping of mum guilt. Ladies and gents, I give you, Prematurity Guilt. My son was born at 28 weeks and six days via c-section after pre-eclampsia developed and it became dangerous. Jack spent three months in the NICU learning how to function and still came home with an oxygen cylinder and tubes on his face.

What did I do wrong? Why did my body betray him so badly? This was followed eventually by 'why won't my body produce enough milk for him?' It's my fault he's struggling. It's my fault he needs a hernia operation because it developed as a result of being born early.

It took time to conquer these initial feelings. But other mum guilt remains. Why don't we have more money to buy a bigger house? Why did I lie him down for his nap? I should relish every cuddle because other parents aren't as lucky. Some NICU parents don't get to keep their babies. I should hold him endlessly.

This isn't realistic. Mum guilt meant that once Jack was discharged home, I spent my whole day within a metre of my baby, not doing any housework, not doing anything except cuddle him because I was so lucky to be able to. But gradually that fog clears. I realised that in order to be the best parent possible for him, I maybe need take care of self. Everyone feels fresher when you get some jobs done. It's ok to put him down for half an hour for that.

Your tiny baby won't remember whether you cuddled him for 3 hours or 20 minutes each naptime. Love is more than that. Don't let mum guilt stop you from living and enjoying now and don't let it become an excuse for everything.

There are things that we as mothers will feel forever but you don't need to let it take over your happiness. Kids happy and well? You're doing fine xxx

Laura was selected as a BISS guest blogger after entering our November linky. For your chance to write for GoodtoKnow, check out our Because I Said So platform.

In a recent study conducted by GoodtoKnow, we found that a massive 68% of mums feel guilty on a daily basis.

Although shocking, when you consider the sheer amount of work and every day pressure that comes with being a mum today it's really no surprise that so many of you feel pangs of the dreaded mum guilt so often.

One mum who totally understands how this feels is Racheale - mum of three and blogger at Part Time Working Mummy. Here, she reveals the guilt she feels about being a working mum in an open letter to her daughter.

Dear Tallulah, I write a lot, it is something I enjoy, you will know this now you are grown up as I have written many letters to you and your sisters for you to open when I think the time is right for you to read them. Tonight my heart is hurting, because yours is. You came home from school yesterday excited about an open day on Thursday, where mums and dads have been invited into school to view their children's work. You handed me the invite and begged me to come along. I couldn't. I couldn't go because I have to work, I need to use my remaining annual leave need to cover your childcare in the holidays. Although my bosses are understanding, I have asked so many times to swap days and hours, to leave early or come in late, that this is no longer an option for me. Tonight you came home from gymnastics excited about an upcoming competition, you handed me the invite and asked me to promise I would be there. I can't - right now I cannot make you that promise. You see one year ago today I wrote a post which I sent to an anonymous site. The post was about another mummy who I watched walk across the Shaldon Bridge every day, who I wanted to be just like. She was a mummy who seemed to put her babies above and before anything. As I was driving to work, I watched her walk them to school and pick them up every day. She held their hands across the traffic lights and kissed their foreheads at the school gate. Because of that mummy I reduced my hours to be part-time and thanked her in that post. That post went viral - this is something you will be familiar with by now. From that post I set up a page called Part Time Working Mummy. I have no idea what will be of that page, or Facebook, or even the internet by the time you read this letter, but let me tell you what is happening right now because of that post and this page. That post was written because I chose to work less hours. But because of that, and what has happened since, I now work more than I ever have. You see, this page I have started is now helping mums and dads and babies all over the world. I can't stop doing this, because these people need me. In the past six months I have helped so many babies - beautiful babies like you and your brothers and sisters escape the most horrific situations. Situations where they are beaten and abused in ways I hope you will never have to understand. This month alone I have got two women into refuge, I have helped a mum of three small babies who was seriously self-harming take herself into hospital and agree to stay as a voluntary in-patient to get the medical treatment she desperately needs. And I post about this in order to help others in similar situations realise that they are not alone, and this in turn means I'm busier. I want to tear myself in half so that I can continue helping the people that need me and campaigning for things I believe in but I also know I need to attend your school and club events. I know you are left upset when I say I can't come and Nan, Josh or Auntie Leisa are there in my place. I can only hope in time that you realise that as much as the lady on the Shaldon Bridge puts her children first by walking them to school every day, I am also trying to put you first by working hard to make this world we live in a better place, so babies like you have a safer future ahead. I will try and get to your next open day, and be at your next gym competition, and I can only hope that one day you read this letter and it helps you understand why I had to miss some of the moments you really wanted me to experience with you, and see it was all for the right reasons. All my love always Mummy xxx Part Time Working Mummy's 'People's Choice for Unsung Hero' award is part of the 2017 Towergate Care Awards, which recognise and reward those who go above and beyond in the care industry.

Have you ever been effected by mum guilt? What makes you feel guilty the most? Let us know in the comments below

Actress Helen Flanagan has revealed the 'mum guilt' she felt leaving her daughter for the first time to go back to work.

Speaking exclusively to OK! magazine, the soap star opened up about finding it difficult to leave her one-year-old daughter Matilda to further pursue her acting career.

Helen is known for her role as Rosie Webster in Coronation Street, which she took a break from in 2012. Now, five years later she is returning to the show but has had to get to grips with being a working mum.

The 26 year old explained that she does feel 'mum guilt' when leaving her little one and has asked her mum to help out with childcare.

'My mum is doing most of the childcare but I did get a bit of 'mum guilt' when I first had to leave her to go back to Corrie. I've never felt anything like that before'

The actress even admitted there have been times when she worries she's a bad mother for returning to work.

'Then I thought I'm not doing anything wrong - just because I'm going to work doesn't mean that I'm a bad mum.'

As any mother will know, leaving your child for the first time can feel traumatic, and for Helen being separated from Matilda brought her to tears.

'I cried the first day I dropped her off at nursery.'

But for the TV star it's all about finding a balance between work and home life, catching moments with her daughter when she can.

'If I'm filming late, she might have gone to bed before I get home. She sleeps in my bed though so I can cuddle her.'

'But I learn all my scripts at work so when I get home, it's time to spend with Matilda.'

Helen shares Matilda with boyfriend Scott Sinclair and the pair have big plans for a bigger family.

'We definitely want more. I think we want to wait until Matilda is four years old. We love her more than anything but she is definitely enough for us at the moment.'

Helen started dating footballer Scott in 2009 and admits that she often gets asked about when the couple will become engaged.

'Now that we have Matilda, people are always asking us when we are going to get married.

'I think every relationship is different. We'll get married when the time is right.'

Breastfeeding is an amazing way to bond with your baby, but not every mother has the option of feeding their child this way.

No mother should feel ashamed at being unable breastfeeding, or deciding to stop, but one blogger has opened up about her 'mum guilt' over her decision to stop breastfeeding her daughter.

Mum-of-two Siobhan Rennie breastfed her daughter Aoife until she was four months old. But in an honest Instagram post, the mum admitted to still feeling guilty since moving on to bottle feeding.

'I still feel guilty every day that I'm not breastfeeding Aiofe anymore. Because mum guilt is a HUGE B****', she wrote.

Siobhan revealed there were many reasons for stopping, adding: 'She took hours to B'feed, it wasn't fair on Harry, so many latching probs meant too much air then too much wind and reflux, ohh and my PND and anxiety...'

After her experience, Siobhan made the 'painful decision' to stop breastfeeding after four months.

However, while she said that 'life definitely got easier, we were all a lot happier', she admitted to still feeling guilty.

'But I still, 8 months on, think I gave up too easily.

'I didn't, I know that, but I still can't help being really hard on myself'.

Siobhan even said she's received judgement for bottle-feeding by other women, which made the guilt even worse. She explained: 'Add to that the stare I got from a woman today at the park when I pulled out Aoife's bottle... Jesus, it was SO judgey.'

But the mum went on to argue that making sure your baby is fed and happy is more important than the method of feeding. 'FED is best. Aoife was (and still is) more satisfied on the bottle.'

She encouraged fellow mums to make the best decision for them, and to not feel pressured into breastfeeding or guilty about not doing so.

'Never doubt your choices, you have to do what's right for you and your whole family - whether that be breastfeeding until they're toddlers or never being able to even start.'

Siobhan's post seems to have struck a chord with other mums, with many praising the blogger for her honesty and sharing their own stories of breastfeeding.

One Instagram user said: 'Love this currently having so much trouble breastfeeding my second who just isn't capable or interested right now ... Persevering for now but will try not to beat myself up if it doesn't work!'

Another commented: 'Beautiful post. She's got a strong, loving mumma and that's the most important thing.'

As parents, we know how it feels to have a hard time. But more often than not, it comes from ourselves!

Here, Emma Conway, aka Brummy Mummy of 2, writes for our blogger platform Because I Said So (BISS) on the subject of why it's high time us parents gave ourselves a break...

'Parenting is really super easy' said no mum ever.

When you aren't worrying about trying to get them to suck on your boob, you're fighting with your other half over whose turn it is to do the washing up. There are never ending decisions about nursery places and the best after school clubs.

This, combined with the relentless guilt, can make you sit bolt upright in the middle of the night and have a little cry. But fear not! I am here to give you the 10 things all parents definitely shouldn't beat themselves up over.

Save your tears for an episode of One Born Every Minute.

1. Food

While breast is best and baby-led weaning is the norm, you should feed your baby the way you see fit. As long as they are happy and healthy that's all that really matters.

2. Sleep

Babies don't sleep through the night. It's horrific and brain numbing, but you must embrace it. And don't listen to that woman at the baby group who says hers did after a month. She's fibbing.

3. Dummies

We're all in agreement that dummies look horrible. But if it means it soothes your tiny tot for half hour? Then shove it in and think no more about it.

4. Milestones

Children do different things at different times. I kid you not my daughter couldn't jump till she was four and my son has a stammer. But those two beauties couldn't be any more perfect if they tried.

My son having the time of his life at Thomas Land

5. Hating your other half

There isn't a couple up and down the country that doesn't communicate through passive aggressive texts and emoticons for the first year. It does get better. Eventually.

6. Feeling a bit bored

Babies nap. A lot. Toddlers watch Peppa Pig. A lot. If you feel bored this does not mean you hate your child. You just hate Peppa Pig. A lot.

7. Losing friends

You've changed. And sometimes that means you may lose a few friends. But you also may make new ones who are completely exhausted and totally get why you hate your husband.

8. Unsolicited advice

People love giving random baby advice. While your first instinct is to punch them in the face, just smile politely and totally ignore it. Idiots.

9. Tantrums

Your toddler wasn't the first kid to have a full breakdown over a Peppa Pig plaster in the middle of ASDA. And certainly won't be the last. So ignore the shocked shoppers and carry on with your day.

10. Making wrong decisions

You suddenly have to make loads of decisions. From tiny ones like what should be their first shoes, to big ones about immunisations and school places. The worry that you may mess it all up is strong. But take it from someone who has made the odd mistake here and there. You are making these choices with all the love in your heart and generally? It will always turn out for the best.

Become a BISS blogger

Could you be our next BISS blogger? We're asking you to share your best blog post with us for the chance to win a guest spot on GoodtoKnow (and trust us, you'll be in great company with some top bloggers already involved!).

Good luck!

'I’m definitely not some domestic goddess, über mum. If she does actually exist, I want to smack her round the chops and ask her what her secret is!' We’ve always loved Sara Cox for saying exactly what she thinks and she didn’t disappoint in our exclusive cover interview for the May issue of Essentials magazine. The BBC Radio 2 DJ, who is currently sitting in for Chris Evans on the breakfast show, looks stunning in the shoot, proving that being a mum doesn’t equal being mumsy. Sara on being an imperfect mum… 'I’ll go to work and people are so nice, they laugh at my jokes and bring me cups of tea, then I go home and the kids are winding each other up and demanding things of me. I find it really hard at times. I shout and I can be a bit horrible.' On working mum guilt…'Now all the kids are at school, it’s amazing because I can work without feeling guilty for the first time in ten years. It’s insane women feel like that because you can bet your bottom dollar dads don’t' On her ‘ladette’ days… 'I don’t think I was ever as wild as people thought. I did smoke then and I drank more and probably slept less, but that’s what your twenties are for. I wasn’t so wild that I’d lose days and wake up chained to a fridge in Brixton or anything!' On feeling like a superhero… 'When I was modelling, I was what I call ‘skinny fat’ where I looked really thin, but my body was a bit like tofu with no toning or strength at all. Now I like to feel like I could save the day if necessary. I’m sure a psychologist would say I have a bit of a hero complex.'

To read the full interview, pick up the new look issue of Essentials on sale now – and if you haven’t tuned into Sara’s own Radio 2 show ‘Sounds of the 80s’, make sure you do this weekend. It’s the perfect Saturday night soundtrack!