In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Sarah Rogers-Hart, blogger at Operation Parenthood

, opens up about how shopping has changed since having children...

It was total humiliation. And my shopping habits changed in an instant. I needed a quick exit, but was foiled by my clumsy double buggy becoming jammed in the changing room door. Said buggy then careered into several clothes rails, before finally veering out of the shop, narrowly avoiding an innocent passer-by. And of course Little Lady and Little Man revelled in providing the accompanying soundtrack duet of piercing screams and bellowing tantrums. Just perfect.

Why would I even attempt to go shopping with a toddler and a baby? Well, I needed a new outfit for a very rare evening out. Intellectual conversation was unlikely with my now pea sized baby brain and with sleep deprived eye bags the size of a Kardashian handbag, I decided to go for gold with the outfit. At least I could look like I wanted to feel even if the rest of me was still trying to catch up.

So, on a mission, I had squeezed myself, the buggy, two kids and all their paraphernalia into the now minuscule cubicle. With my pre-pregnancy lacy thongs and bra sets relegated to the bin, I was getting all Bridget Jones and trying to squeeze my somewhat 'relaxed' post babies tummy into one of those Spanx-style shapewear contraptions.

Wearing little more than my birthday suit, I was attempting a move any contortionist would be proud of when my Little Man decided this was the moment he would master opening latches.

The door swung triumphantly open displaying my sun-starved, post-baby, cake-loving posterior to the entire shop floor. On a rainy, very busy, Saturday afternoon. “Boo”! Shouts Little Man.

It was time for a reality check. Kids + shopping centres = stress, hasty purchases, humiliation and defeat.

Oh yes, once you become a parent, online shopping is the way forward. Whilst the coffee at home might not be as frothy as a Costa, at least you get to drink it. And, you might actually get around to buying something for yourself and not just the kids.

You can peruse all your favourite stores without having to apologise for your child shouting, “poo-poo” and “trumpet”. And perhaps, just for an evening, you can feel like the young, stylish, woman you still are (she’s just in hiding sometimes!).

So, did I ever buy the aforementioned piece of Lycra? Nope. After the initial wave of humiliation had died down, I realised that whilst I may have a few more lumps, bumps and scars than I did before, it’s because I’m now a member of a pretty special club of strong, savvy women that can survive and thrive through pretty much anything. That what I was seeing as imperfections are just part of my life story and that’s ok with me. (Plus, I’ll never truly be able to look at that underwear without feeling a little queasy!)

So mums, for one evening, give yourself a break and do something just for you – because you’re worth it.

Ten steps to a successful shopping experience post kids

1. Pack the kids off to bed early (change the clocks if you need too!). 
   
2. Allow Daddy to indulge in an evening of sports TV. He’s not going to resist and it means you can say the S word without him freaking out and hiding all your credit cards. 
   
3. Create your desired environment with mood lighting and mood enhancing music. 
   
4. Assemble appropriate snacks. I find wine and chocolate aide my relaxation and inspiration (although admittedly this has led to some ‘interesting’ purchases!). 
   
5. Get comfy. Let it all hang out, safe in the knowledge that no Basic Instinct-style reveals will be forced upon you! (No, I’m never going to forget it!)
   
6. Visit all your favourite online stores, simultaneously if you like, without incurring blisters, achy shoulders or shoppers elbow. 
   
7. Purchase the objects of your desire and wait for someone else to do all the legwork. 
   
8. Feel feminine, individual and a bit like ‘you’ again. Mummy’s having a break. 
   
9. Try and stay awake long enough to enjoy feeling this way! 
   
10. Repeat process but with trying on clothes, rather than purchasing once they arrive.
    

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you.

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Victoria Blythe, blogger at The Tired Years

, shares her experience of shopping post-baby...

As ladies we're meant to love shopping right? But not every woman finds it as exhilarating as the stereotype would make out. Especially those of us who've had children. After my first child I pretty much went straight back to how I was before (don't hate me!) My second child, however, was bigger and stretched my tum to capacity. He left me with a wrinkly, stretch-marked midriff that is taking much longer to reduce in size and I fear has changed my shopping experience forever. I made the ever-so-slightly stupid decision to go clothes shopping two weeks post-birth and funnily enough did not enjoy the process. Depressingly I had to buy two sizes bigger than before. I immediately invested in some tummy control pants which have since made the experience more enjoyable! 5 months later we went on holiday and a day before we left I decided that maybe I would brave a bikini after all (mainly due to my husband's remark, 'surely you are not just taking that frumpy all-in-one'). So I had to face shopping again - this time with no tummy control pants in tow. I had a two hours with two kids to find one. Brilliant. I set myself up for failure, picking skimpy bikinis with no support, eyeing up what the younger, pre-baby versions of myself were choosing.

As time went on with no success I felt more and more depressed that no matter which bikini it was, I could not hide my newly acquired mum tum. In the end I chose one with a specific bra size and separate size bottoms which you can only find in a store that those pre-baby ladies are certainly not shopping in.

On holiday no-one seemed to care what I looked like anyway. There were other mums with stretch marks and loose skin and I realised that I'm not alone. And I guess it tells a story. So the reality is that shopping looks different now. Pre-babies it consisted of; do I like it and can I afford it? Now not only am I lugging around a small child, and more to the point a huge buggy with me, I can't just pick whatever looks good on a hanger and expect it to look good on me.

I also have to ask; does it cling to my tummy, is it breastfeeding friendly, will it be easy to get baby sick/purée/snot stains out of? It's knowing and being ok with this reality that makes shopping easier. For example, I now look out for floaty tops and high waisted trousers which are always a winner. One of the most attractive things about a woman is body confidence. So I'm going to work on finding clothes that I think - hey, me and my mum tum look good in that!

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you.

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Tina Cooper, blogger at One Sock in A Bath

, opens up about her relationship with her body...

The problem I have is that the body I owned, before I grew the children, was fabulous. Let me take a moment to tell you about it.

(This isn’t necessary for the purpose of this exercise but I shall go ahead anyway because I want to.)

I’d been a postie for some years which meant I walked several miles every day. I lifted heavy sacks of mail and I rode a bike, all this helped keep me trim and wonderfully healthy.

Sadly I had absolutely no idea just how fabulous my body was, so I would hide it behind some rather unfeminine outfits. My signature costume was combat trousers, the real army surplus kind, white t-shirts and walking boots. Looking back I should have been nude at all times. Hindsight, huh?

Now then let’s fast forward to today. Bits wobble, they wobble a lot and with very little encouragement. Bits wobble when I laugh, something I do many times a day. Bits wobble when I run, something I do only when absolutely necessary, when The Youngest lunges head first into danger for example, or when . . . . . .

No, that’s about it.

Then there’s the aching. Six months on form the birth of The Eldest the aching began. I felt as though I’d been run over and when I walked it was as if through water. Most odd.

It was pondered upon that the C-section, necessary if I ever wanted to meet my son, had been the trigger for whatever the heck was going on. A shock to the system apparently? One doctor decided I’d had a stroke which was nice. I hadn’t, which was nicer. Was the weirdness due to having had a baby or having had a baby at the ripe old age of 36? Or having had a baby through the sun roof at 36? Or just being 36? I’ll never know.

Anyhoo, I was so busy worrying about how I felt that I forgot to worry about how I looked. I didn’t care and it showed. The good news is that I’m getting there. I go to the hairdressers now, I hate it but I go - I am no longer grey. I buy clothes, nice clothes and occasionally I wear them. I try to be kind to myself, I am full of good intentions and the thoughts count apparently?

But what do I love about my post baby body?

Well, the new model is larger than is absolutely necessary, it hurts most days and misbehaves on others. It is, however, all roughly where it should be and in fairly good working order. But. The best bit about my post baby body is that it is post baby.

So what if it used to be wobble free? So what if it could run without wearing a bra? Am I sad about this? If I’m honest, yes. Was it worth it? Oh most definitely. This clever round wobble body of mine made me a mum. I am forever in its debt.

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Katie Davis, blogger at Mummy in a Tutu

, proves why a mum tum is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of...

Looking back, I don’t ever remember a time that I was happy with my body, which is a bit stupid really because if I was as thin now as when I first thought I was big I’d be laughing all the way to the shops! You know the pattern, we diet, we put on, we diet, we put on… and I hate to admit it but I am an emotional eater – celebrations and commiserations, whichever it is there will be food involved.

Then I got pregnant and my whole perception changed - I have never felt so comfortable in my own body than when I was pregnant. I adored it. No sucking in the tummy, no strategic dressing – I wore horizontal stripes and tight tops loud and proud! Then I gave birth and instantly slipped back into the old mentality of trying to cover up my body, especially when rather than dropping any baby weight I actually started to gain a little.

I began following a strict diet, and yet the pounds weren’t dropping off like I thought they should and the black loose clothing went back on. I became rather upset because I wanted to be the kind of mummy that my daughter could be proud of. I wanted to take her swimming and to the beach but I was going to look more like a whale than a mummy wasn’t I?

Then I stopped and realised, I was letting these negative thoughts about myself stop me from doing the things I wanted to do with my daughter and she was missing out – NOT HAVING THAT!

I signed us up for an expensive swimming course, knowing full well I wouldn’t want to waste the money, donned an all in one swimsuit and braved the pool and you know what? NOTHING HAPPENED!

No one looked, no one jeered and no one other than my daughter laughed and that was because she was enjoying splashing mummy so much. I looked around and all the other mummies and daddies, big and small, were too engrossed in their own little ones to notice my mum tum and it hit me… I shouldn’t be ashamed of it!

I have wanted a child for as long as I can remember and was starting to worry I would never get to have any. Now I have my beautiful daughter and I have the mum tum to prove it!

I don’t think we women are EVER happy with our bodies but we should definitely be proud of our mum tums – we grew a baby, we birthed a baby, we fed a baby and we’re raising a baby. That is what my mum tum says to me!

I am proud of my mum tum because it gave me the most precious gift I have ever received and I intend to give us every experience together I can. So I say: Long live my mum tum!

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Lizzie Rule, blogger at The Identity Thieves

, shares how she'll talk to her children about their bodies

'Girls as young as five years old are worried about the way they look and their size.' *

Upsetting, isn’t it - that children this age are susceptible to messages about body image? It’s hardly surprising though. We are bombarded with images of apparent perfection and it has become ingrained and 'normalised'. So how should we help our children navigate this? How do we empower them to cut through the crap and love their bodies?

I’ve recently taken up running. It’s not something that comes naturally to me and I can’t say I love it when I’m actually doing the running bit, but I love the worn out (and slightly smug) feeling I get afterwards.

The other day, with every step I ran, I thought 'Ugh! I hate this! My legs ache! My lungs hurt! I can’t bloody wait to get home!' At that point, I had a moment of realisation. I could carry on with a negative attitude and hate every second, or I could try thinking 'I’m really pushing myself. My legs are working hard and my heart is pumping, helping to keep me going. I am doing this to keep healthy and fit.' This is what I want my children to really understand.

Body confidence is not about a thigh gap (I think I had one when I was eighteen, for about two weeks), or a flat stomach or a Kardashian bum. It’s about learning what your body can do, what limits you can push, how strong you can be. Our bodies really are amazing and, as Paralympians prove time and again, even when the odds are stacked against us, we can achieve incredible things.

I want my children to understand how to nourish their bodies, but not to be obsessive over it; to understand that they will be showered with images of “ideal bodies” but know that they’re almost totally unattainable; to make sport or fitness part of their everyday lives. So we must lead by example. I like my kids seeing me head off for a run because it helps normalise exercise.

I can say, hand on heart, that when I know I’ve been taking care of my body with the right foods and exercise, I look in the mirror and feel good. I am far less likely to start picking out my imperfections. I will tell my children that body and mind are so in tune with one another, it’s essential to be kind to them both in order to feel ‘body confident’.

With the Rio Olympics in the headlines this year, it’s the perfect time to talk about great athletes and what their bodies can achieve when they set their mind to it. I hope they will grow up with less focus on weight, cellulite and wobbles and more on strength, stamina and an enjoyment of healthy living.

* Lohmann et al, British Journal of Developmental Psychology, 2005

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Stephanie Siviter, blogger at Mummy's Writing Darling, reveals which word is banned in her house...

There is someone in my house who calls me fat every single day. Perhaps several times a day. They shout it at me, the ultimate F word; 'Fat! You’re Fat. Fat. Fatty Fat Fat.'

Thankfully it’s not my one year old, as he doesn’t talk yet, though between you and me - he’s pretty portly himself. However, he’s at that age where fat is considered incredibly cute. It’s also not my three year old as he doesn’t know what that word means yet. The only time he uses it is when he talks about the ‘Fat Controller’ but he thinks that’s just his name - it has no context to him. Of course it’s not my husband because he wants to live a long and happy life. So that just leaves me.

No one has ever called me ‘fat’, well, not to my face. I was once called ‘chubby’, after the birth of my first son, by a lady trying to sell me a diet program where you can only drink sachets of protein powder. Her exact words were ‘Do you really want to be the chubby mummy in the park?’ I cried. I cried a lot. Then I was angry. Is that all I am? A chubby mummy? Is that my label? Is that how I am viewed when I venture into the park? Is that all we are - mums? On some sliding scale to be judged ranging from skinny to fat? Really?

I won’t use the word fat around my children because I feel there are probably better adjectives to describe people, to describe their mummy in fact. For example Mummy is strong, active, energetic (most days), healthy, fun, happy, present. Your baby brother is healthy, stocky, strong, gorgeous and well fed.

I have made a concerted effort to squash down that inner voice and be in the moment with my children, be in every photograph, be positive, be happy, show them the best mummy I can be. And one thing is for sure - they won’t hear the word ‘fat’ from me.

There are better adjectives we could all use. There are more important things to focus on. There are better labels. And slowly but surely I’m going to remove that word from my internal dialogue and give it less power. I don’t have time - I’m busy enjoying my time with my beautiful children.

If that diet lady is reading this I would like to say that I might be the chubby mummy in the park. But I am in that park. I am on that beach. I am at soft play. I am in the paddling pool - I am out there, with my children making the most of our time together despite any label you want to put on me. I carry on regardless, and you know, I’m so busy - I think I might have even lost a little bit of weight.

I might be the chubby mummy. But I’m one hell of a mummy.

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Karen Whitlock , blogger at Stopping At Two

, reveals the amazing things her body has done...

I had originally planned to share with you my thoughts about how amazing the female body is as it is able to carry and nourish new human life through pregnancy and then on to breastfeeding, changing the composition of the breastmilk based on the needs of your growing child. I mean, that’s pretty awesome isn’t it? It doesn’t matter about your body shape or size, how can you not see that as being the biggest achievement possible?

However, for me, everything changed this weekend. I slipped and went over on my ankle, taking a bit of the bone off the ankle and now I am stuck in a cast. It’s only now, that I fully appreciate how amazing my body is. Not because it has got through two successful pregnancies, enduring fluctuating hormones, massive changes both physically and emotionally, and nurtured new life within it, but because every day for around forty years it has kept me alive. I haven’t just survived. I have lived, and until now, I have taken that for granted.

So what has my body actually achieved today? Well, its biggest achievement has been to take a bath. I have managed to get in, wash my hair and body and then get out of the bath, whilst not getting my right leg wet or putting any weight on it, ALL BY MYSELF!

You might not be convinced that this is a particularly big achievement, but my point is that it is until something goes wrong with our bodies, then we really take for granted just how amazing it is. You are reading this because your brain has the capacity to learn, to interpret letters and to understand what they mean. Your heart, which is beating and never fatiguing, is pumping around 5 litres of blood around your body every minute. Involuntary systems in your body are maintaining your internal temperature and blood glucose levels, whilst others are removing toxic substances from your body.

My body is different since becoming a mum. It’s flabby, saggy and squishy. But it has done such great things. Pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding or even just caring for our children are pretty big achievements for any body, but actually, the mundane tasks that our bodies just get on and do every day without us even thinking about are the real achievements that we should be celebrating.

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Emma Burbidge, blogger at #BadParent

, reveals what she sees when she looks in that mirror...

The most unexpected thing motherhood has taught me is that whilst my body isn’t perfect, it’s still pretty awesome. That’s not to say that I'm all: 'Ooh my, look at these lovely lady lumps, I'm smokin'. I would describe that changing room mirror moment as more: 'Wow, you made human beings, that's bloody amazing'. OK, yes, I can see a saggy pair of large but deflated boobs (mildly drooping is an understatement, forget a pencil, I can hold a pencil case under mine). There’s also a tummy with gouged-out silvery lines running across it. It has a little pouch, sometimes cruelly called a 'gunt' (I’ll leave you to work that one out), which does need to be tucked in to my pants.

Overall, my reflection shows a bedraggled woman whose make-up is settling into the creases that somehow arrived when my back was turned; and does nothing to cover the bags underneath my eyes.

But as I look in that changing room reflection, I also see a threenager trying to open the curtain and a toddler grabbing my feet and demanding to be picked up (yes, I naively thought I could take my children clothes shopping if I was quick!) – its then I see past the self-delusion of my youth and know reality is very different.

When I look photos of myself ten years ago, I can see that I was slammin' then and I wonder why I didn't appreciate more what I had. But the irony is that in ten years’ time, I know I'll be thinking the same about this ‘Mum-bod’ I'm currently rocking. This body has achieved so much more than that 23-year-old body ever did. I certainly wasn't expecting this new type of body confidence with the arrival of the aforementioned 'Mum-bod'. Don't get me wrong, I'd still love to be able to click my fingers and have a body like a Victoria's Secret Model. These days, though, there are more important things in life than being skinny.

Let’s face it, I wasn't skinny pre-babies: so with sleep deprivation, the lack of motivation to exercise and a habit of excessive-biscuit-dunking in cold cups of tea – what chance now? I lose my confidence at times and feel deflated when the garment I'm trying on doesn't look as I'd imagined. Then I remember it’s not all about me anymore. This saggy body has grown and kept two tiny humans alive; so what are a few war wounds between pals?

These days I'm confident I work well with what I've got; and above all else, I want to instil a body confidence in my daughter that transcends what the media tells her is ‘beautiful’. What you look like is only a small part of the picture.

After all self-confidence is the most beautiful thing a woman can possess.

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series

 we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Lindsay Butcher, blogger at And Other Idiots

, reveals the surprising effect pregnancy has on the body...

Millions of years of evolution and it comes down to this - it's still the women that birth the babies. We, the ferocious givers of new life; we are strong, we protect and grow our children deep inside our own bodies. We labour them safely into this world. We sustain them with our own milk. And then, a few days after that first fog of magical newborn wonder lifts, we look down at our naked selves, blink, and whisper in silent horror: 'What. The. ACTUAL?????'

You're not still high off gas and air. This is what you look like now. Get on board!

Because let's be honest, childbirth takes a heavy toll. Not always an obvious one to outside eyes, but in those secret places that you never even knew existed, after you've had a child or several, it's all a little, well, different.

I'd just assumed that the minute the baby was out, my stomach would be flat again, I could have a large G&T, and the world would go back to normal. I'd always been pretty lucky in that department, (flat stomach, not latent alcoholism) and I was never really one to fret much about my figure.

So it came as a pretty hilarious shock to find that immediately postpartum, those cunning midwives had actually somehow inserted a few kilos of blancmange where the baby used to be. My stomach, once taut and smooth now had a mind of its own - and that mind looked like that of a deranged whale on the wrong side of a cake-eating competition and three hundred late night kebabs.

I was not prepared for this.

Neither was I prepared to find my newly engorged breasts (or 'wildly pneumatic mega-tits' as I now think back on them fondly as) buffeting firmly around my face, several hundred cup sizes larger than they used to be. The books will tell you this is the milk coming in. Your brain will tell you this is the kind of evolutionary design-glitch God must surely have put in as a cosmic joke, because ain't no man coming anywhere NEAR these puppies unless he has recently been birthed out of your vagina. Tough luck husbands! These HURT.

Which brings me on to breastfeeding. (Not literally, I've been weaned a while now). Some people do, some don't, but suffice to say just this: whatever you choose to do, you'll probably still need to buy a new bra at least once a week to cope with the ever changing size of your once perky boobs - upwards, outwards, downwards. Mostly downwards. South. Towards your knees. It's a rare beast who can pass the pencil test after two or more children.

But here is the biggest joke of all - as women we're so conditioned to invest our sense of self worth in these outward appearances. We are sold fear in spades - 'don't be caught out growing hairs on your legs! Buy this razor!' 'Worried about losing the man in your life? Get thin!' etc. I'm generalising, but you get the gist.

Nobody tells you that after you've had a baby - this perspective can change.

That it's ok to just be a human, with a body, that looks a bit different to how it did before. That now, actually, it's not just all about you. You have changed, and in a more fundamental way than just the size and shape of your stomach.

When you bring forth a tiny new human being from inside your body, the whole world shifts on its axis slightly, and the centre of the world becomes them, not you; and certainly not anyone's opinion on the shape of you. Your child will delight in every inch of you - wobbly or not - and literally could not care less if you wet yourself on a trampoline from time to time due to complete pelvic floor trauma as long as you love them with everything you have.

Don't get me wrong, there's definitely a place for doing things to make yourself feel gorgeous again, especially if like me you get a child that likes nothing better than lifting up your top in public places, jabbing his hands deep into your belly whilst gleefully yelling "MMM, SQUISHY MUMMY!!", but it's nothing a stiff gin and a new handbag can't offset from time to time. I've got A LOT of handbags.

So the most important thing that no-one tells you? That you are a woman, and your body is powerful. That your body was beautiful, and continues to be so. It works. You GOT this. You were BORN for this. We women have looked like this since the dawn of time, and the human race has survived this far.

Your body is just your body is just your body - what will count is what you do with it next. So be kind to it. And be kind to yourself. You've just had a bloody baby, after all...

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Alexia Rowley, blogger at Roots And Wings Parenting

, tells us the effect pregnancy had on her body confidence...

Body image and how we feel about our body seems to be an issue for many women from our teens. I am no exception; wishing I had smaller thighs, a flatter stomach, tamer hair. Whatever it is, there is always something I would want to change. I was always conscious of my body being less than perfect. So the last thing I was expecting in pregnancy was to change my view of my body for the better.

Prior to being pregnant I would often complain of looking fat or being conscious of wearing anything too fitted. Looking back, I laugh at my pre-pregnancy self and want to shout ‘what are you talking about? You will never have a flatter stomach in your life. Stop complaining'. Hindsight is a great thing, I had no idea what my post baby tummy might look like.

Then I fell pregnant and suddenly my body was doing an amazing thing. It was growing another human; inside me was a whole other person! It was mind blowing, and as my body began to change I honestly felt it was blossoming, and for once I was proud of it.

I loved maternity clothes, I loved wearing fitted tops and showing off my bump. I loved seeing how I and my baby changed every week, tracking my unborn baby's growth and watching as limbs grew, features developed and fingers wiggled. Of course, I also loved being able to eat whatever I wanted, having copious amounts of chocolate without feeling guilty and getting my husband to go to the shop at ridiculous hours to buy cheese and bacon potato skins because ‘baby wanted it'.

It was no longer important that my body was the same as everyone else, or if I looked good compared to friends or celebrities. My body was doing the most important job of its life, and it didn't matter if my bump was big, small, high, low. It's all beautiful because it's so amazing.

Incidentally I had a huge bump and was regularly asked if I was having twins, which I wasn't, but I really didn't mind. My baby bump was a reminder that my body was better than I could ever have imagined. Of course by the end of my pregnancy I felt huge, I waddled rather then walked, my feet hurt, my bump grew tight and I was keen for my baby to come soon. Yet, all the time I was still happier with my body then I had been at any other time in my life.

It is a shame that we don't focus on what our bodies can do instead of what they look like. I now view my body completely differently. I grew 2 children and have the marks to prove it. I am not ashamed or embarrassed by this. I finally realise how amazing and perfect the human body is, whatever it looks like.

BISS is GoodtoKnow's guest blogging platform that gives a voice to real mums (and dads!). Head to our BISS channel for your chance to write for GoodtoKnow and to read all the brilliant blogs from real parents just like you. 

In our BISS Post-Baby Body series we're exploring how real mums feel about their bodies since having children. Hayley McLean, blogger at Sparkles & Stretchmarks

, tells us why she'll be the first on the beach this summer

Last summer, my son & I spent most of our summer on the beach.

If you look back at my photos, you'll see my son having fun on the sand, building sandcastles, eating ice cream... But if you look again, you may notice that there's something missing in all of those photos - me.

I'm there somewhere - way in the background- fully clothed, sunglasses on, head down, sitting on the sidelines. Trying desperately not to be noticed.

You see, last year my post-baby body confidence was at an all time low.

Following the birth of my second son, I struggled to feel comfortable in my skin - the scars and tummy overhang left from a second c-section delivery had shocked me.

As much as I loved watching my family having fun, I couldn't join in. Seeing other women in swimsuits and bikinis while I felt like the odd one out made me feel jealous, and self conscious.

But this year, something is different. It certainly isn't my body - if anything I'm in worse shape than before following a surprise third pregnancy in as many years. My body has been through the mill and it shows!

But I'm not hiding away in the background this year. Because I've realised that I was living my life in fear of not living up to other people's standards of perfection.

Worrying about whether complete strangers would deem my body acceptable, worrying if my imperfect body might offend someone. And I realised that it doesn't matter.

Instead of focusing on what my body isn't, I'm focusing on what it is:

- No my arms are not long and slender, but they allow me to comfort my children when they cry.

- No my breasts are not perky, but they are breasts that fed and nourished my baby.

- No I don't have toned tanned legs, but I do have legs that allow me to run to my children when they need me, and carry me anywhere I want to go.

- No I don't have a perfect beach body, but I do have a body that gave me 3 perfect children.

My body worked hard for that and it deserves to enjoy those children - to run about, frolic and have fun with them - thigh gap or no thigh gap.

This summer you'll find me playing football with my kids, and splashing around in the sea - yes my mum-tum will be wobbling while I do it but I won't be thinking about that - I'll be concentrating on the smiles on their faces as we make memories together.

And in the photographs that they'll look back on in years to come, they'll be reminded not of a mum so worried about her appearance that she missed out on having fun, but of a mum who played with them, laughed with him, enjoyed her life with them.

A mum who showed them that you don't need to be perfect to enjoy your life.

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