If you've got a little worrier on your hands, or a teen who clams up when you want to talk about feelings, then you might be asking questions about their mental wellbeing. These gratitude journals and activity books could help.

Children's mental health can be a source of worry for many parents, but working out how to start a conversation about mental health is not easy. Some children may simply be too young to understand how to explain their emotions, while older kids may become withdrawn when the topic is broached. With recent NHS data showing that one in five children and young people in England aged eight to 25 had a probable mental disorder, many parents are looking for mindfulness activities for kids and other ways to help their children manage their feelings - and journaling is one hobby that could help.

Dr Charlotte Armitage, psychologist, psychotherapist and founder of No Phones at Home, which encourages families to put their phones away and focus on connecting, explains the benefits of using these activity books. "Journaling can help children to organise their thoughts and can be incredibly cathartic, because writing can help facilitate the processing of their emotions in a healthy manner. It involves reflecting on thoughts and feelings, working out how to structure these thoughts and behaviours, and then using our complex neural connections to enable us to write them down."

With this in mind, we've rounded up 12 of the best gratitude journals, positivity planners and other mindfulness activity books for kids and teens, to help them learn to process their emotions and cope with anxieties.

12 best gratitude journals, positivity planners and worry books for children and teens

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A new poll has showed that two thirds of parents notice negative effects of screen time on their children, but screen time doesn't have to cause problems - here are our tips and tricks to get a more positive result out of it.

The topic of screen time is a divisive one, with solid and justified arguments on both sides of the conversation. While there are some benefits of screen time, everyone can agree that kids missing out on outdoor play, exercise, and ample homework time is a negative and it has even been linked to abnormal behaviour in toddlers. 

It's these negatives that have parents worried. A new poll has revealed that two thirds of parents have spotted negative effects in their child if they spend too much time looking at screens and 49% of parents are concerned about the amount of time kids spend looking at phones and tablets. 

The solution many have tried to implement is to reduce their child's screen time, but of the 88% who are trying to do so, more than a third are finding it too difficult to drag their kids away from their screens in order for them to do homework or chores around the house, the poll has found. If you're navigating the same issue, wondering why your teenager is tuning you out or if you're struggling with a child who won’t listen to your pleas to get offline, this TikTok parenting hack should make your kids listen more and pushback less. 

As reported by The Mirror, Matt Buttery, Chief Executive of Triple P UK and Ireland, the body who commissioned the research, said, “The amount of time children are spending on screens is becoming an increasingly pressing concern for parents in the UK, particularly following the pandemic. Research has shown that, whilst children do gain benefits from accessing social and educational information online, too much screen time can negatively affect children’s healthy development.”

It would be an impossible task to completely remove screens from a child's life but there are steps that can be taken to reduce screen time, to better increase safety online with life-saving questions to ask your child if they’re online gaming, and to better balance screen time with sleep by following expert tips to ensure screens aren't keeping kids awake all night.

Instead of banning screens, why not try to make screen time a more positive experience? The Mayo Clinic, who aim to solve the world's most serious and complex medical challenges, urges parents to 'keep in mind that the quality of the media your child is exposed to is more important than the type of technology or amount of time spent online.'

With this in mind, they suggest to ensure more quality screen time. They add to avoid 'violent content and apps with a lot of distracting content' as well as to 'eliminate advertising on apps, since young children have trouble telling the difference between ads and factual information.'

They also advise to, "Preview programs, games and apps before allowing your child to view or play with them. Better yet, watch, play or use them with your child. Seek out interactive options that engage your child, rather than those that just require pushing and swiping or staring at the screen. 

"Use parental controls to block or filter internet content [and] make sure your child is close by during screen time so that you can supervise his or her activities."

Keep up to date with other family news like don’t want your kids to grow up too fast? Science says this parenting style is the way to go and asking your kid this question could do wonders for their self-esteem – here’s why, as well as why you shouldn't tease your child about having a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’, according to parenting experts. 

New research has found an unintended consequence of telling your kids white lies, even little ones told in order to spare their feelings, and you're going to want to avoid doing so in the future. 

No matter your chosen parenting style, white lies are often a parent's best friend. Whether it's a forced 'It's beautiful' at one of their more unusual drawings or 'I've not got my purse,' when they ask for a treat while you're out, these little truth bending quips save a long conversation or argument and they're not harmful, are they? 

Well, new research has found that kids who are regularly told white lies by their parents are more likely to lie about things themselves. 

A study, published in Elsevier’s Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, looked at the behaviour of over 500 children aged between 11 and 12 to see how their relationship with the truth had been impacted by the various little white lies parents often use. 

The researches asked parents how often they lied to their children and the children were then asked how often they lied to their parents. The outcome? Honesty really is the best policy. 

“The bad news for parents is that sometimes, honesty may be the best policy," researcher Dr Setoh Pei Pei of Nanyang Technological University said. “White lies may be motivated by good intentions, but if children realise they have been lied to, this can also lead to lying from the child.”

The delicate white lies parents tell were split into two groups by the researches: instrumental and white lies. Instrumental lies are defined as lies used to get a child to change or stop what they're doing. Dr Pei Pei explains, “Instrumental lies are used to get a child to comply when they are misbehaving, for example, a parent threatening to call the police if the child is being naughty. 

White lies, on the other hand, are classed as lies used to spare a child's feelings, like saying they're brilliant at singing when you'd really rather they took a break from it. And luckily for us, these emotion sparing white lies are less of an issue than the more dramatic instrumental ones. 

“Instrumental lying makes it more likely that children will lie to their parents," Dr Pei Pei says. But it's easier said then done to stop using those little time-saving lies. So what do you do if your child starts lying to you as a result? 

According to The Centre for Parent & Child Support, there are three ways to respond to a child's lie. The first thing to do is not to panic about the behaviour. "Respond calmly," they say. "Try to avoid lectures as negative attention can encourage defensiveness and more lying."

They also counsel to respond in a positive way. "Try and point out the truth in a way that does not make your child feel defensive. For example, 'That's interesting that you think that because I read...'"

Third and foremost, you must try to 'understand the reason behind the lie.' They share, "Sometime children lie to feel better about themselves. Instead of responding with frustration, use it as an opportunity to help build their self-esteem."

For more family news, here are 5 ways to show kids you love them in a way they can process and struggling with school run meltdowns? A child psychologist has shared a tip for calmer goodbyes, as well as asking your kid this question could do wonders for their self-esteem – here’s why.

Good self-esteem is like a super power for kids, and as parents, it’s our job to make sure that they know how valuable and worthy they are. 

That said, it’s a tricky path to tread – we don’t want to destroy our kids’ confidence by pushing them too hard and instead, do our best to praise them for their achievements in a healthy, non-toxic way. 

Picture this: your child is so excited to show you what they drew during school pick-up or they come bursting through the door to tell you they scored a goal in their football match. Your knee-jerk reaction is to probably congratulate them and reward them in some way, but this could enforce the habit of solely relying on the external, such as grades or compliments, for validation. 

Wondering where to start? Licensed family and play therapist Carol Kim shared a simple technique to help parents to tune into their own worth. Kim’s young clients often engage in artwork activities, and is often asked whether she likes what they’ve produced. While recognising that it’s easy to say, ‘yes, I love it’ and ‘great job!’, if the goal is to have better self-esteem, Kim suggests asking them what they think of their drawing instead. Why? Doing so enables them to practice not getting the most of their self-esteem from other people’s opinions. 

How to boost your child's self-esteem

In her latest TikTok, the parenting coach suggests the response: 'You really want to know what I think? Actually, I want to know what you think. How do you feel about it? What are your favourite parts about your drawing? Are there parts that you don’t like?'. 

'Wow, I can really see that you enjoy the colours that you used. By the way, you know what I noticed here? While you were talking about your drawing, you were smiling and looking proud, I wonder how it felt for you. Oh, so you did feel proud? Well, let’s look at your drawing again and notice the proud feeling in our body.'

Kim explains that this exercise encourages kids to explore and value their own thoughts, feelings and perspectives, while also helping them to appreciate their own strengths and abilities. It might take a bit of practice, and while external validation has its perks, this technique gives children the tools to trust in their own opinions, feel confident in their abilities and bounce back from setbacks.

For more parenting hacks, here are 5 ways to show kids you love them in a way they can process and struggling with school run meltdowns? A child psychologist has shared a tip for calmer goodbyes.

The myriad of parenting styles on offer these days is empowering, sure, but it’s also confusing to know which one is right for you and your child. If that strikes a chord, this new research might just help you cut through some of the noise. 

Gentle parenting gets banded around a lot when it comes to raising little humans, and while there’s a common misconception that it’s a free pass to let kids do what they want, new research suggests that an approach to this parenting style (a positive and peaceful one), could have more power than you think. 

The study in question, funded by the National Institutes of Health, has found that good parenting might actually slow down how fast kids' bodies age when they face tough times. 

The study, led by Alexandra D.W. Sullivan and her team at the University of Vermont, showed that praising, encouraging and noticing kids' good behaviour can help protect their physical and mental health in the long run, even when they're dealing with things like poverty or family problems.

Growing up in tough situations, like being poor or dealing with family issues, can make kids' bodies age faster than usual. But this study suggests that positive parenting can help put the brakes on that. Basically, when parents are supportive and avoid being too harsh, it can make a big difference in how fast their kids' bodies age.

The study looked at 62 kids who were part of a program to help with behaviour issues. Half of the families got tips on positive parenting, like being supportive and avoiding yelling, while the other half got referrals to community services. Turns out, the kids whose parents were more positive had slower ageing in their cells, even when they were dealing with tough situations.

So, what's the bottom line? Being a positive parent can really make a difference in how your kids grow up, especially when times are tough. The researchers are now hoping to do a bigger study to see just how much of an impact positive parenting can have on kids' health as they grow up.

In other parenting news, here are 5 easy ways to let children take risks (without your anxiety going through the roof) and 5 tips on how to teach kids emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people have self-awareness, empathy, and excellent communication skills - traits that can significantly impact a child's mental health and overall well-being. But how do we, as parents, cultivate these abilities in our children?

Starting a conversation about mental health with kids can be challenging. Younger children may struggle to grasp the concept, while older ones might resist opening up. Yet, equipping our children with emotional intelligence is key to fostering resilience and teaching them to manage and express their emotions effectively, which helps our children's overall mental health. It's even more important in the tumultuous tween and teen years. During this time, it's considered 'normal' for kids to withdraw and shut down, leaving parents feeling even more in the dark about their inner world.

Parenting coach Anisa Lewis emphasises, "Teaching kids emotional intelligence is ultimately helping children to foster an understanding of emotions. By doing this, they can learn to navigate their feelings and those of others, leading to improved mental health and enhanced social skills." This skill set not only aids in conflict resolution and effective communication but also builds positive relationships and bolsters resilience - essential tools for navigating life's challenges.

In this article, we'll explore practical strategies for you to help your child, and even your teenager, develop these crucial skills, uncover ways to bridge the communication gap and equip your kids with the emotional tools they need to thrive.

How to teach children emotional intelligence

1. Label the emotions

Labelling the emotions that your child experiences can give them the vocabulary to talk about how they feel in the future, but it also shows them that you understand what they are going through.

Anisa explains, "Encouraging children to identify and label their emotions helps them understand the wide range of feelings they may experience. This can be done in the moment, through identification from the parents/carers. For example, saying, ‘I can see you are angry’ or ‘That must be really frustrating for you.’"

Anisa adds that you can also add labels to emotions by reading books and stories about feelings with your child.

Psychotherapist and parenting expert Priscilla Bacon agrees, adding, "If children don’t have words for their feelings, then it’s harder for them to understand them and make sense of them. Expand their vocabulary to include all the different words we can use for our feelings and help them to understand the ways of expressing big feelings that are and aren't acceptable in your family home."

2. Validate your child's feelings

Pricilla tells us that asking your children questions about how they feel and showing curiosity towards what they are experiencing is a key way to teach emotional intelligence.

She explains, "When children come to trust and rely on the fact that all their emotions are important and that their parents will always ask about and focus on them, then they will learn to believe in and trust their own feelings - and that builds emotional intelligence."

Priscilla suggests asking questions like 'How did you feel when that happened?' 'I’m trying to imagine if that was uncomfortable for you?' or 'On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable did you feel?' in order to validate your child's feelings.

3. Model active listening

Active listening goes beyond simply hearing the words the person talking is saying, and really concentrating on the message they are trying to get across - including any non-verbal cues. It's an essential communication skill because it helps to better understand another person's point of view.

Anisa explains that by practising active listening when your child is talking, you can teach it to your kids. "Show children how to pay attention to verbal and non-verbal cues when others are expressing their emotions. This skill fosters empathy and helps kids understand different perspectives and feelings," she explains, adding, "It also helps foster the understanding that not all communication is verbal."

4. Use movement

A study published in the journal Learning, Culture and Social Interaction explored how movement helped learning around abstract concepts of emotion when studying two Year 1 classes (children aged 5-6).

Using guided and improvisational dance, movement was used as a mean-making tool to prompt embodied experience and talk. The researchers called the process Developing Understandings of Emotions through Movement (DUEM), and noted that it has the double benefit not only of movement itself, but also of making meanings for complex concepts - such as emotion - through the embodiment and exploration of physical metaphors.

You could try encouraging your kid to express the way they're feeling by using their entire body, helping them to become aware of the emotion they are experiencing by paying attention to the way their body moves and feels.

5. Don't look to solutions

Priscilla explains, "When children have their feelings solved immediately, or are met with expressions like 'oh it's not that bad' or 'you will feel better tomorrow', they don’t learn to be with or feel their feelings."

She adds, "Children need to know that there are times in life when they will feel sad, furious, devastated or that life is terribly unfair and a parent’s job is to help their children learn to feel those feelings rather than to try and negate or get rid of them straight away."

Priscilla explains that children who can bear their feelings are more emotionally intelligent - let them sit in their feelings by listening to them and asking them questions, rather than trying to make things better straight away.

6. Teach empathy

Teaching children to not take things at face value and instead wonder how the feelings of another person might be making them behave is key to fostering emotional intelligence.

Priscilla explains, "When children can understand that people’s behaviour is often influenced by and driven by their feelings, they can start to relate to people in an emotionally intelligent way."

Encourage your kids to think about how another person might have different feeling towards a situation than they do themselves. You could discuss what a film character might be feeling in a certain scene to help teach this skill.

7. Practice mindfulness

"Simple practices, such as deep breathing or guided imagery can provide tools for emotional regulation," explains parenting coach Anisa.

Engaging a child’s senses in the moment is a quick way to bring mindfulness into their experiences and these techniques contribute to a child's overall emotional resilience. Check out these mindfulness activities for kids for inspiration.

8. Show your own emotions

Children need to see emotions being shown and talked about, Priscilla tells us, so it's important that you are able to show yours to them and explain your own feelings.

"Let them know why you suddenly feel angry when the house is in a muddle of toys, or explain why your work meeting was uncomfortable for you," Priscilla says. "They need to see the most important people in their lives have big feelings and can talk about them."

What is emotional intelligence and why is it so important?

Emotional intelligence is a vital skill that can profoundly impact our children's lives, but as parents, we often wonder how to nurture this intangible yet crucial ability. 

Deborah French, a cognitive behavioural therapist, reminds us that emotional intelligence begins with self-regulation, a skill that starts developing during those challenging toddler years. Remember those trying tantrum phases? As exhausting as they were, Deborah reassures us that they serve a purpose: "If handled correctly, how you mange this tantrum phase enables your toddler to learn how to develop these self-regulating skills."

It's comforting to know that our efforts during those difficult moments can pay off. As Deborah explains, with proper guidance, "a child will no longer, ever, need to have a tantrum because they will be able to keep themselves calm when things get tough." Imagine the relief of helping your child develop this invaluable skill!

As our children grow, so does their emotional intelligence, and those everyday conversations and playtime interactions with you have a crucial role in helping them. 

The beauty of nurturing emotional intelligence in our children is the ripple effect it creates. "When we can show emotional intelligence in our relationships... people want to be around us. They want to be friends with us. They want to connect with us," says Deborah. 

In fact, studies show that parents with higher emotional intelligence skills are better able to teach their children emotional awareness, expression, and regulation, leading to improved psychosocial adjustment and healthy friendships in children, as this 2020 Israeli study of hundreds of parents shows. 

As parents, isn't this what we hope for our children? By fostering emotional intelligence, we're not just helping our kids manage their feelings - we're setting them up for meaningful relationships that will bring them joy and comfort throughout their lives.

How can I help my teenager develop emotional intelligence?

Are you worried your teen hasn't developed emotional intelligence yet? It's not a skill that is learned just in childhood—it can develop during adolescence, too. According to Deborah, "It is only harder for adolescents if they have not had the opportunity to develop those skills during childhood," but it's still possible. 

To help your teenager develop emotional intelligence, it's important to approach them with understanding and patience. Deborah says teaching emotional intelligence during adolescence needs a different approach than in earlier childhood, and it's never too late.

Deborah emphasises that change is possible even in challenging times, which should give us parents some hope! The key is to adapt your methods to suit your teenager's developmental stage. While younger children don't mind listening to their parents' advice and direction, it's often the opposite with teens.

"Emotional intelligence can only be taught during adolescence by giving teenagers the opportunity to choose between right and wrong," says Deborah. "Not as the result of punishment, threats or bribes but through mutual respect and discussion."

Here are some ideas to put this into practice:

1. Have regular, open conversations about emotions and social situations
2. Encourage your teen to reflect on their choices and any potential consequences
3. Model emotional intelligence in your own behaviour
4. Create a safe space for your teen to express their feelings without judgement
5. Offer guidance or advice if you're asked to, but let your teen to come to their own conclusions

Developing emotional intelligence is a gradual process, but having a respectful and supportive relationship with your teen will help lay the groundwork for their emotional growth and maturity.

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In other news, here's how to help your child use their voice, and these are the six signs your kid has 'high emotional intelligence'. Elsewhere, there are five reasons to let your kid fail, according to a teacher, and these are the eight types of play your kid needs to support their development.

Almost one in 10 children are exposed to age-restricted content including pornography within 10 minutes of going online, distressing findings show.

While many parents are concerned with how to keep child safe online and how too much screen time can affects a child's development, many might be surprised to learn how quickly a child who is surfing the internet can come across harmful material...

Internet safety company VerifyMy conducted a study of 2,000 young people aged 16-19 from the UK and US who disclosed the risks they face online and almost one in 10 young people have come across Child Sexual Abuse Material (CSAM), with children as young as eight years old coming into contact with age-restricted (18+) content, including pornography.

But what's equally as shocking is the time it takes for a child to surface this harmful content - with young people admitting that they have encountered content that they consider unsafe, age-restricted or illegal within 10 minutes of going online.

And that's not all, almost a third (29 per cent) reported seeing content related to self-harm, while a quarter (25 per cent) have witnessed extreme violence, and over one in ten (12 per cent) have been exposed to extreme pornography.

Meanwhile, just 11 per cent of young people inform their parents or caregivers if they see this kind of harmful content. Just nine per cent report it to the authorities.

As a parent you might be wondering how to tell if your child has seen something potentially harmful online, so GoodtoKnow has spoken to Dr Elly Hanson, a Clinical Psychologist, who tells us, "It’s often difficult to know what our children are seeing online, but if you notice an emotional change, for example, they become withdrawn or irritable, this might be a sign they’ve seen something that’s upset them.

She added, "My advice is to stay as close as possible to your kids through the tween and teen years, regularly check in with them about how they are and what’s going on for them, and if you have a particular concern, openly ask them about it. Emphasise that they’ll never be in trouble for seeing things that they’ve been sent or have come up on their social media feed and that your focus is always on their emotional wellbeing.”

The study comes as four-in-10 (42 per cent) parents have heard their sons make inappropriate comments because of what they’ve seen online, discussing topics that are sexual (32 per cent) or violent (44 per cent) in nature, and one-in-five (22 per cent) have noticed a gradual change over time in the language their sons use to talk about women and girls.

Vodafone, in partnership with Global Action Plan, has released a new study and film to drive awareness of the powerful online algorithms harming teen boys and has teamed up with Vodafone and the NSPCC who have created a new toolkit to help parents navigate conversations with their children about online safety.

Other key findings include:

• Over one in ten (11 per cent) report encountering such content once a week, while 10 per cent experience it two to three days a week and seven per cent are exposed to it every single day they go online.
• Over a third (35 per cent) of respondents indicated that their encounters took place via social media platforms, which the NSPCC also cites as contributing to an increase in grooming crimes. Almost one in five (19 per cent) have been exposed to materials shared by strangers, 14 per cent by someone they consider a friend, and 13 per cent by someone they interacted with online through channels such as online gaming or chat. 
• Despite respondents revealing that their schools/teachers (62 per cent) and parents/caregivers (48 per cent) have taken the time to teach them about online safety, young people are unsure what they should do if they encounter materials they identify as unsafe, restricted by age or illegal. While 36 per cent report the content to the website where it was found, 38 per cent simply close the site, 35 per cent ignore the material and only 11 per cent inform their parents or caregivers, with a mere nine per cent reporting it to the authorities. 
• The short and long-term effects of viewing this content were also found to have a detrimental impact on young people’s wellbeing, with 69 per cent stating it has a negative impact. Additionally, 44 per cent of respondents reported a direct impact on their mental health. 

Michal Karnibad Co-CEO VerifyMy said: “At the click of the button, our young people can be exposed to age-inappropriate content or even the most horrendous online content imaginable. Despite the best efforts of websites and platforms, schools, parents, caregivers and awareness days to guide online best practices, our findings show more needs to be done." 

However, rather than pointing fingers Michal believes now is the time to "act and implement pragmatic solutions to solve the issue of how we best protect children online".

Michal added, "Websites must ensure they have robust content moderation technology in place which can identify and remove any illegal material before it is published. At the same time, they must invest in age assurance technologies to ensure those accessing their platforms are the correct age and only see age-appropriate content.”

While there might be certain measures in place to make screen time safer, such as altering device security settings and adding parental controls, the research found that only half of respondents (49 per cent) encountered safety measures that should be in place to restrict their access to 18+ content. Of these, 53 per cent report having been asked to self-declare their date of birth, 32 per cent have encountered facial age estimation, and 27 per cent have been asked to provide some form of identification, such as a passport or driving license. 

Kate Edwards, Associate Head for Child Safety at the NSPCC, has shared some of the ways parents can help drive down the risks. She said, "Young people are telling us that avoiding a virtual world is almost impossible, so we must begin to have open conversations with them and build trust between family members to engender these discussions. Part of being able to do this involves adults understanding more about the online world, and how to keep their children safe, which is why we’ve been working with Vodafone to create a toolkit that enables parents to know where to begin in keeping their children safe when entering into the virtual space.”

Vodafone has an online toolkit which can be accessed at www.vodafone.co.uk/digitalparenting, it has been created in conjunction with NSPCC and supports parents in having online safety conversations with their children.

For more advice read our tips on how to reduce kids' screen time, plus  15 'life-saving' questions to ask your child if they’re online gaming - plus 5 expert tips for keeping your kids safe.

A mental health expert has shared 5 tips for helping your child open up, and the signs they might be struggling to look out for.

5-11 February 2024 marks Children's Mental Health Week, and it's an opportunity for parents to teach emotional intelligence to their children. It can be a difficult topic to broach, but parents who are wondering why their teenager won't talk to them or have noticed that their child has become more withdrawn might find some reassurance from understanding how they're feeling.

This year, the theme of Place2Be’s official Children’s Mental Health Week is 'My Voice Matters', and is encouraging children and young people to use their voices and share what matters to them. With recent NHS data showing that 18 per cent of children aged seven to 16 years and more than a fifth of young people aged 17 to 24 years have a probable mental disorder, there's no better time to start the conversation.

With that in mind, Dr. Katy James, mental health clinical director at UK healthcare provider, Vita Health Group, has shared her advice for parents on how to help children and young people open up about their mental health. She has put together a quick guide for parents, which includes the common warning signs a child or young person may be struggling with their mental health, and advice on how to talk about it.

Dr. James explains, “It can be difficult to spot when a child needs support with mental health issues, and it can be tricky for young people to speak out about the challenges they're facing. So it’s really important that parents, caregivers and family members are able to recognise the signs that a child or young person may be struggling with their mental health, and they know ways to help them talk.”

Warning signs of mental health issues in children and young people

• Withdrawal – no longer doing the things they used to enjoy
• Significant changes in behaviour and mood
• Self-harming
• Changes to sleeping patterns
• Unexplained physical changes such as weight loss or weight gain
• A sudden, negative change in academic performance
• Isolation and withdrawal from social situations
• Refusal to attend school

Ways to help a child or young person talk about their mental health

“Talking isn’t always easy, but giving children and young people the space and opportunity to open up is one of the most helpful things we can do to support their wellbeing,” says Dr. James.

“It’s sometimes helpful for children and young people to talk whilst they are doing an activity. This can take the pressure off the child needing to make eye contact and makes the conversation feel much more natural and relaxed.”

Dr. James suggests that it could be helpful to try the following activities: 

• Cooking or baking
• Playing football
• Going for a walk
• Being creative - drawing, painting or arts and crafts
• Going for a drive together

If you’re trying to discuss a tricky subject with a child or young person, Dr. James suggests parents and caregivers follow these five general principles:

1. Help them to feel safe and comfortable
2. Show that you’re listening and hearing what they’re saying
3. Allow them to set their own pace and be patient
4. Avoid displaying strong emotions and stay neutral
5. Stick to facts - it’s okay if you don’t know the answer, be honest

Dr. James adds, “When children and young people are struggling, it’s important they understand that they are not alone. If you think your child is showing signs that they are struggling with their mental health, contact your GP for support. They may recommend a referral to another service for assessment or support to help your child manage this. It could also be beneficial to reach out to your child’s school as they can often make referrals into mental health support services available to them via education networks and local authorities.”

Online support services available for parents and carers

• MindEd - MindEd is a free learning resource about the mental health of children, young people and older adults www.mindedforfamilies.org.uk
• Action for Children - Parent Talk is Action for Children’s online advice hub, providing expert articles on common parenting questions. There's also a live chat to connect directly to a qualified parenting coach www.actionforchildren.org.uk
• Anna Freud - Anna Freud is a mental health charity for children and families, offering advice and guidance for parents and carers to help them support a child or young person experiencing poor mental health www.annafreud.org

In related news, one in five 16–25-year-olds miss school or work due to poor mental health, while 'teen-ternity leave' is an increasingly popular option for parents of older kids. And if it feels like your teenager is tuning you out, they probably are, but research proves it’s not personal, just science.

A parenting expert has broken down how to use ‘positive consequences’ to get your child to listen to you and understand the consequences of their bad behaviour better - here’s how to keep your cool and use them effectively. 

When faced with bad behaviour, a tantrum, or plain stubbornness from a child, it can be easy to lose your cool, especially when it's just be 'one of those days.' No matter what parenting style you chose to follow, the mental load of parenting day in and day out can often just become too much and snapping at bad behaviour is all too easy. 

But one parenting expert has now urged parents to remove the negativity from their reprimands, no matter how many times they've been forced to wonder if their child is actually even listening to them, and use 'positive consequences' to get that naughty behaviour better under control.  

Taking to Instagram, parenting expert Ralphie, known as SimplyOnPurpose online, shared, "Parents always want to be pointing a figure at what TO DO, not what not to do. Positive consequences do just that. They get the good going. 

"It's very natural for parents to use threats of taking things away to motivate their kids," she says adding the example, "If you don't keep your hands to yourself then we are leaving!"

But Ralphie wants us to flip that negative into a positive. "Using positive consequences adds to a child's life and creates positive association with the behaviour and parent," she explains. "If you can keep your hands to yourself then we can stay and play."

The simple idea at the core of positive consequences is to encourage good behaviour instead of punishing bad behaviour. By being gentler with the way we speak to kids during their emotional outbursts, we can show them that we acknowledge the feeling causing their bad behaviour while still condemning the behaviour itself. This gentle approach will help the child feel safe and make them more likely to listen to reprimands and change their behaviour. 

The idea goes hand in hand with many of the parenting hacks that have recently been shared online, from the gentle way to deal with children who laugh in your face when you reprimand them to the simple routine switch that will make your kids listen more and pushback less.

If you're struggling to get your kids to do what you ask them, this parenting coach's advice will be a lifesaver and stop all the pushback they give you.

Parenting is a constant learning task. As you go through each of a child's development stages, new challenges are placed in front of you and, at times, it can feel like an uphill battle no matter which parenting style you choose to subscribe to.

One of the biggest troubles parents often face is getting a child to simply listen to them. But whether you're wondering why your teenager is tuning you out or you're struggling with a child who won’t listen, parenting coach Tia Slightham has you covered with this brilliant trick that she promises will not only increase a child's listening, but also their cooperation with what you're asking them to do. 

Taking to TikTok, the certified parenting coach shared, "Here's the thing. Everything we ask our kids to do is lame; brush their teeth, turn off their device so they can go to bed, clean up so they can come have dinner. Everything is boring and lame so no wonder they don't want to do it! We ask them to stop doing the fun things to do the boring things."

So how can we get kids to do those boring, but essential, tasks? It's all about swapping the way we approach the timeline of the day, says Slightham. 

"What I want you to do is look at your day and flip flop the order in which your kids are doing things," she says. "I want you to ensure that the things they need to do are always done before the things they want to do." 

Her advice makes so much sense. Of course kids aren't going to stop watching their favourite TV show to go and take out the rubbish or do the other chores we set them. But they will do those 'lame' things in order to watch their show or do something else that they actually like to do. 

"Simply look at your day from morning to night and shift it, so the 'need to dos' come before the 'want to dos'," the expert says, emphasising how simple her advice is. 

TikTok users immediately loved the simple hack with one commenter sharing, "I can't wait to try this tomorrow! It makes so much sense." 

Keep up to date with our family news and parenting hacks like ‘Kids don’t have the skills to manage those feelings’ – a psychologist reveals 3 reasons why your kid is being rude, and how parents can break the cycle, and Questions to ask kids after school: 14 of the best from the experts, as well as Teen not taking your ‘unsolicited’ advice? Here’s how to make yourself heard (without being given the side eye).

Kids are great at pushing buttons and will no doubt cross the line at some point, but it turns out there’s more to their rudeness than just being defiant or answering back.

If your inability to stop yelling at your kid when they’re being rude to you just ends with your leg in the mum guilt trap, let us put your mind at ease. One of the main culprits of the ‘I’m not going to school!’ argument or bedtime battle is most likely down to where they’re at in the child development stages, so with the constant back-and-forth, the behaviour continues and your tolerance gets chipped away.  

The good news is, when we teach kids how to problem solve or express frustration in a healthy way, you can reduce rudeness and make meaningful, lasting change at home. Clinical psychologist and parenting expert Dr Becky Kennedy shares three reasons why your kid is being rude to you and her top tips to stop the cycle.

3 reasons why kids are rude to parents

1. Disconnection

It turns out that adults crave attention as well as kids, so when we experience a lack of it, we feel disconnected and have a tendency to increase conflict – sound familiar? Dr Becky, who is also a number one New York Times best-selling author for her book Good Inside (£14.99, Amazon), explains: "Disconnection is the same reason why we're rude to adults in our life – we want more positive attention; we want them to listen and understand instead of judge, and so rudeness is a sign that we’re looking to be more connected."

2. Lack of skills

Kids aren't just mini adults – yes, they might be born with a full range of emotions but they lack the skills to effectively manage them. "Kids are rude when they’re disappointed or they’re angry and they don’t yet have the skills to manage those feelings so they explode out as rudeness," says mum-of-three Dr Becky.

3. Children always want their feelings to be heard and believed

Acknowledging your kid's feelings goes a long way, and by demonstrating how they can say their thoughts out loud will help with their emotional development. "All of us will escalate the expression of our feelings if we are met with invalidation or minimisation, so the more you hear out and believe your kid’s feelings the less often they’ll be rude," concludes Dr Becky.

So, the next time you're about to react to your child being rude, Dr Becky's parenting truth could help: "Before we intervene, we have to understand."

For more parenting tips, find out how to respond when your child says I hate you and discover 3 reasons why punishments don’t improve kids’ behaviour.

Ever wonder why some kids can’t sit still and seem to have an endless supply of energy? 

You don’t need us to tell you that exercise for kids is incredibly important, but you might not know that kids actually crave things to do - like play outside, climb trees, jump in puddles, play fight with siblings and explore their surroundings by crawling into small spaces or racing to the park.

In fact, new data shows that kids aren’t moving enough. The Active Lives Children and Young People Survey found that fewer than half (47 per cent) of children are meeting the Chief Medical Officers’ guidelines of taking part in an average of 60 minutes or more of sport and physical activity a day. Youth Sport Trust Chief Executive Ali Oliver MBE said: "Daily movement is essential for physical and mental health, and play is fundamental for social development. Unhappy and unhealthy children do not learn, and this has consequences for education."

And while it can seem like 'disruptive' behaviour (and can get very annoying when you’re constantly saying, ‘stop tackling your brother’ or ‘don’t run off’), kids are actually designed to be on the go. Here are three reasons why moving and getting outside is so good for them.

3 science-backed reasons why exercise is good for kids

1. Exercise improves kids' behaviour

Regular exercise isn’t just great for encouraging kids to stay fit – it also improves their behaviour, including those who live with autism, ADHD, and anxiety and depression, according to research published in the Behavioural Brain Research journal. According to one study within the same research group, kids from kindergarten (around ages four and five) to 10th grade (15 to 16) who participated in exercise twice a week, saw major improvements in self-control and received fewer timeouts from their caregivers. 

2. Exercise boosts kids' mental health

The conversation around children’s mental health is louder than ever, so it could help to know that getting kids outside and moving can do wonders for their mood. For example, one 2017 study found that moderate to vigorous physical activity at ages six and eight is linked to fewer symptoms of depression in middle childhood. 

3. Exercise could help kids catch up at school

New research from Sheffield Hallam University also found that physical activity can help improve children’s schoolwork. The study, involving 60,000 students and 4,000 teachers, analysed how they feel about work, and their physical and mental health. It turned out, getting kids moving in school isn’t just for the benefit of their health, it’s a key player in helping them catch up on what they missed during the pandemic – and keeping their mental health in check.

So, instead of thinking you have a ‘naughty’ child, consider letting them play outside (one of our best outdoor toys and games for kids should help) or plan a trip to the playground to meet those movement needs.

Find out more about the child development stages as they grow up and how to help a highly sensitive child go back to school.

It’s a tough pill to swallow when your sweet seven-year-old turns into a teenage tornado of attitude seemingly overnight. 

Big changes are happening during the child development stages up to their early teen years, with mood swings and eye-rolling being common characteristics of the first signs of puberty in boys and girls. Known as the ‘tween years’ (from around eight to 12), it’s a turbulent time for your kids (and you!) when they’re straddling between exploring a new personality and still needing the love and support from their parents.  

You’re also evolving through the mental, emotional, hormonal and social experience of motherhood (otherwise known as matrescence) which, you may have noticed, sounds pretty similar to adolescence. During both of these times, changes and hormonal shifts are causing a disruptive transformation in emotional experiences, making you question your sense of belonging in the world. So what do we do when our teen’s behaviour turns harsher than your blaring alarm on Monday morning? 

How to quit taking your teen's reactions personally

Parent educator Dr. Vanessa Lapointe appeared on the Women on Top podcast and explained that, when children are increasingly moving towards adulthood, they’re trying to figure out how to make their mark on the world and it’s our job as parents to not become afraid of their craving for independence and instead, suggests this helpful acronym. 

“Q-TIP stands for quit taking it personally. Your child’s reaction has nothing to do with you, it's about the final layer around adolescence and because they’re moving towards full independence as a grown up, they’re meant to step away and sometimes in order for the step away to happen, they have to push and you’re left as the parent to deal with your own attachment style while your kid is abandoning you.”

3 tips to embrace your teen’s need for independence 

1. Open communication: Create a space where your teen feels comfortable expressing themselves. Listen actively, ask open-ended questions and show genuine interest in their thoughts. This builds trust and encourages them to share their desire for independence without fear of judgement. 
2. Negotiate boundaries: Instead of imposing strict rules, involve your teen in establishing guidelines together. Negotiate boundaries that respect their need for independence while ensuring safety and responsibility. This collaborative approach makes them feel empowered and respected.
3. Encourage decision-making: Support your teen in making their own choices and facing consequences. Whether it's picking extracurricular activities or managing their schedule, allowing them to make decisions helps build confidence and prepares them for the responsibilities of adulthood.

Discover why 'teen-ternity leave' is an increasingly popular option for parents of older kids and here are 7 quotes for teens from some of the most inspiring names in the UK. 

A Harvard-trained toxic-parenting researcher has revealed the one thing she no longer asks her kids when they come home from school and it's all to make sure they can talk to her about their achievements in a healthy way. 

Every milestone in a child's life is cause for celebration, whether it's their first steps, their first word, their first day of school, or a brilliant grade on an important test. 

It feels important to mark these big moments but one parenting expert has found that it might actually be harmful to do so. That's because by being overly-focused on your child’s achievements, you could also be subconsciously sending them a very harmful message - that their value as a person is contingent on their academic performance.

Award-winning journalist and parenting researcher Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who wrote the book Never Enough: When Achievement Pressure Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It, says that by prioritising a child's academic achievements over their other qualities as a person is detrimental and her research into the stress it can cause for kids has led her to make a huge change to her own parenting style. 

"As much as you might worry about how your child fared on a big test, or if they earned a spot on a varsity sports team, you risk compounding your teen’s anxiety by asking probing questions as soon as they walk in the door," she told CNBC News.

"Achievement culture is becoming toxic. What I mean by that is: When our sense of self is tangled up in our achievements, we can’t separate ourselves — our inherent worth — from our external achievements or external failures.”

It's not just Wallace who has uncovered this. Research by Erica Komisar, a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst and parenting expert, also revealed that many parents today are pushing their children too hard and creating more anxiety for them as they fail to separate academic achievements from their worth as a person.

So what did Wallace do? She didn't stop pushing her children to do well, or stop asking about how that big test went. She simply just reframed her questions and learnt to talk to her kids about their achievements in a healthier way.

“When my kids come in the door, instead of asking them, ‘How’d you do on the Spanish quiz?’ — which I used to do before I wrote the book — I now ask them, ‘What did you have for lunch?’” says Wallace. “I lead with lunch. I talk about things that have nothing to do with their achievements.

“Guess what? My kids are going to tell me. It’s on their minds,” she says. “They don’t have to think that I’ve been worrying all day about one Spanish quiz. Instead, they should be getting the messaging from me that I care about them as a whole person.”

One specific tip that Wallace picked up from a psychologist she interviewed for her book is to try and limit potentially stressful conversations with your kids about their academic performance to just 'one hour over the weekend.' While you're talking to them, look out for subtle ways your child expresses anxiety that you might have missed so you can know when you're pushing them too far and, if it gets too much, try out these simple and effective ways to manage stress. 

Hearing the words ‘I hate you’ cuts deep for parents, causing alarm bells to go off in your head and worrying that you've done something to upset them.

You never know where the outburst might come from – maybe they didn’t like a boundary you set as an authoritative parent (one of the strictest parenting styles), and the ‘I hate you’ statement can make you think you're doing a bad job, further amplifying your mum guilt. Don't worry, you're absolutely not alone if you can relate to this. While it feels heavy in the moment, understanding what’s really going on with them can help build skills and trust between you.

Kids' – especially toddlers' – brains haven't fully developed self-regulation skills, and when they say something hurtful like 'I hate you', they’re just expressing how they’re feeling with the tools they have at the moment. Parent coach Kristin and licensed child therapist Deena (@biglittlefeelings on Instagram) say that this is because the part of the brain that handles emotions is still "under construction" and have devised three strategies on what to do when your child says they hate you.

How to respond when your kid says they hate you

1. Translate the words to see the feeling: First, try connection before diving in with any correction to help your child use your support and guidance. When your child says 'I hate you', respond with: 'Those are words that tell me you’re really upset with me'. Kristin and Deena say: "You’re helping them build insight and perspective in the context of your trusting relationship."
2. OK the feeling: When children are angry or upset, validating their emotions – good or bad – can make them feel seen and heard. You could say: 'It's OK to be mad at me.' Essentially, "this is what they’re trying to express in the first place, help them find those words and create a safe space to share," Kristin and Deena explain.
3. Teach those coping skills: It can be tempting to fight fire with fire, but try to take some deep breaths (we know it can be hard in the moment) and approach their statement of hate in a calm and empathetic way. "You’ve proven that you can handle anger without abandoning, shaming, or getting angry back, so now it’s time to encourage the constructive release, because you’ve made your relationship safe enough to do so," say Kristin and Deena.

The tips are about getting your child to open up and by responding to the feeling beyond the behaviour, you'll be able to build more of a connection with them. Don't be put off if your child doesn't want to share right away; this isn't the goal, Kristin and Deena say: "Remember, we’re not expecting them to share right off the bat. If this is a new strategy you’re using it may take them a little time to dip their toe in the pool of ‘share more about it’ pool."

In other parenting news, discover 5 reasons to let your kid fail, according to a teacher and child psychotherapist Dr Becky reveals why these four words are “better” than empty threats.

If you're worried about why your child isn't top of the class or is often on a losing sports team, fear not, for there are five simple ways you can make sure your child is more successful, whatever their ability.

While there are positives to be gained from letting your kids fail, it can be so hard for parents to just sit back and watch their child or teenager lose interest in exams, homework and even their favourite sports. But as science says kids with 'intense interest' in dinosaurs have higher intelligence, so it's not always possible to push your child into all things Jurassic.

And now you don't have to as an expert psychologist has shared his top tips for nurturing your child's 'hidden potential'. Psychologist Adam Grant says: “Success is less a matter of natural talent,” he says, “and more about nurturing their ‘hidden potential’.”

The New York Times-best-selling author of Think Again explained, "I used to believe that you could judge where you would land from where you start; I thought the child prodigies, the best athletes, the most naturally gifted musicians, the most brilliant students were the ones who had the talent to go on to achieve greater things in the future."

But after years of research, he's discovered that it's the opposite “that there are many late bloomers” he said, or people who struggle seemingly without “a natural aptitude for a task or a skill but, with the right opportunity and motivation, go on to exceed their own and other people’s expectations”.

His research was sparked by a 1980s study of 120 Olympic swimmers, neurologists, concert pianists and other high-achieving adults, who "were rarely identified as having extraordinary potential by their early teachers and coaches – not even by their own parents, in most cases.”

But when they did flourish, the penny dropped, and it wasn't because they had superhuman abilities but rather because they cared and were willing to put in the work needed.

"That was really the beginning, for me, of getting curious about hidden potential,”  Adam admitted.

Adam Grant's 5 five rules for success (at any age)

1. Think like a scientist

Adam believes that too many people spend a lot of their time thinking like preachers or prosecutors where they attack someone else's views, or like politicians where they only listen to people who already agree with them. And this is what stops children, and adults, from learning, as they automatically assume they're right and others are wrong.

“Thinking like a scientist doesn’t necessitate buying a microscope, but rather not letting your ideas become your identity. Recognise your opinions are hypotheses; your decisions are experiments. And when you do that, you’re much quicker to recognise when you’re wrong, and that means you can be faster to get it right."

2. Become a (sea) sponge

While the usual phrase 'soak it up like a sponge' means to take every bit of information in, Adam advises that becoming a 'sea sponge' is more effective. This analogy means to absorb good information and get rid of harmful information. He said, "Ask for advice that leads people to coach you, rather than feedback, which is backward-looking."

3. Start giving more

People who give are said to outperform takers, according to reports in Adam's 2013 book Give and Take in which he claims if you're always the one being 'coached' it puts you in the position of 'depending on others for guidance'. Takers are more likely to burn bridges and miss out on learning opportunities because they only agree to something when it directly benefits them. Meanwhile, givers who teach others are reminded that they have something to offer.

4. Embrace imposter syndrome

While imposter syndrome is considered counter-intuitive, Adam stresses that it is a sign of "hidden potential". He noted that so-called imposters actually work harder than their peers in order to 'close the gap between what people think they're capable of and their own beliefs in their capabilities'.

5. Seek excellence, not perfection

When looking for star potential, Adam warned that "progress comes from maintaining high standards, not eliminating every flaw." and he advises anyone who is doubting how far they've come to consider how their past self would view their current achievements. "If you knew five years ago what you'd accomplish now, how proud would you have been?"

Adam had no natural talent as a child, despite his success as an adult, and therefore he fits this theory. Having been nicknamed Frankenstein, he couldn't touch his toes, was told he needed remedial classes for writing and was too shy to speak publicly. Fast-forward to his adult life he made the US Junior Olympic diving team, has written five books and has addressed large audiences through TED Talks.

The dad of three, said, "I had hidden potential in all those areas. We assume that’s not for me, I don’t have that talent, I don’t have a knack for that skill," as he blames underestimation for the failure to discover hidden potential, and believes it has "dire consequences... we limit ourselves and the people around us."

Speaking about why parents are the worst placed to spot talent in their children, Adam explained, "You don’t have the independence and the objectivity that you need to be an accurate judge.” He puts this down to two factors - either parents “over-identify” with their children in a bid to revive their own perceived hidden potential, and “want their kids to live their dreams for them”. Or their expectations are too high, which can have deleterious effects. 

In other family news, did you know Grandparents say they learn more from their grandkids than their own children - here are the 20 things they've picked up and Here's one thing you might want to avoid doing with your kids as it can cause them anxiety, according to a psychoanalyst.

We’ve all used the classic ‘if you do that one more time’ when kids cross boundaries or break rules you’ve set.

The way you discipline your child (or not, depending on which of the parenting styles you choose) is personal to you and even more so now that experts are coming forward with solid evidence proving punishments don’t improve kids’ behaviour. Whether your kid stays glued to their iPad when it’s time to get ready for school or continues tormenting a sibling when you've asked them to stop, last warnings are a common technique for parents who have simply had enough of their child’s bad behaviour. 

If you’ve said “if you do that one more time” like, a thousand times, it’s probably lost its impact, right? That's because when parents resort to threatening misbehaving children, they inadvertently set themselves up for failure and reinforce the child’s belief that they can get away with pretty much anything - especially when the last warning is followed by a threat that you don’t follow through with. Sound familiar?

Thankfully, Dr Becky Kennedy has all of our backs. In her latest Instagram reel, the mum of three breaks down warnings, and uses this example when a child continues to throw the ball in the house and the parent responds with “if you throw the ball in the house one more time, you’re losing your iPad for the week”. 

Dr Becky's four magic words to replace empty threats

The clinical psychologist claims this sturdy – not soft – intervention is better for everyone: "Hey, you’re having a hard time having that ball and not throwing it inside the house. I am taking it, I'm putting it away, and a little bit we can go outside and throw the ball. I will not let you throw it in here again; I won’t let you. I’m saying I won’t let you, not because I want to be a dictator to my kid, but because I want to protect my kid from having another version of this bad behaviour feeling frustrated and then by the way giving them a punishment I don’t even wanna keep." Embodying your authority and setting a boundary is a much better alternative to empty threats, she adds.

It seems that a lot of parents are faced with this dilemma and found Dr Becky's advice so useful, with one user commenting: "I swear, the only “parenting coach” on Instagram that actually makes sense. I have tried the “gentle” method and I do not have “gentle” kids- it has only created more chaos and frustration in our house but THIS makes sense in a no nonsense way. THANK YOU!"

Another said: "Boy do I wish you were around when my kids were young. They are all grown adults and I feel like I follow you just to torture myself that I did so many things wrong. Sometimes I save your posts. For what? My kids are 27, 30 and 32!". Dr Becky to the rescue again.

For more parenting tips, this is how to deal with children who laugh in your face when you reprimand them and this find out the tools you need to teach your kids how to manage their anger.

Picture this common scenario: a challenging parenting situation comes up (which is inevitable) and your knee-jerk reaction might sound something like this: “go to your room!” or “no iPads for a week!”. 

If you follow a tiger parenting style, threats and consequences might be how you were taught to discipline your child, but more evidence is stacking up that a gentle parenting approach (without shame, blame or punishment) could transform behaviour and boost your little one’s confidence in the long-run. Instead of removing privileges or taking away something your child values, Dr Becky Kennedy is an advocate for a connection over correction approach when it comes to ‘bad’ behaviour. In her latest Instagram reel (find her @drbeckygoodinside), the parenting psychologist and author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming The Parent You Want To Be, reveals three reasons why punishments don’t really work.

3 reasons why punishments don’t improve kids’ behaviour

• Punishments don’t build skills: Children are born with a full range of emotions but lack the skills to effectively manage them, leading these emotions to manifest into bad behaviour. “The way to improve behaviour is always to build skills and punishments never do this,” says Dr Becky. 
• Punishments add shame: When we constantly implement consistent and corrective actions, like taking away a toy or not allowing your child to have dessert for the next three nights, it can make them ashamed of themselves: “Shame leads to a frozen state, and if a kid is in ‘freeze’, they can’t learn, they can’t grow and change,” explains Dr Becky.
• Punishments reflect to a kid that they’re a bad kid: Children react to the image of themselves that we reflect back to them, and that’s how they build their identity. The mum-of-three advises: “We can’t be saying to a kid ‘go to your room’; ‘what’s wrong with you’, and then expect them to improve their behaviour. Kids have to feel good inside before they bring out that goodness as good behaviour.”

Dr Becky’s post was flooded with praise from parents who agreed with the psychologist, like this comment: “yes! And thank you for such valuable content, amazing and definitely a life changing book and podcast!”, but users were also interested to know how they can get a partner on board if they believe punishments are the only way. Another agreed and said: "is this a guy thing??? My husband does the same. I hate it. I don't parent like him, but it feels "wrong" for each of us to do our "own" way of parenting since we are a family that lives together." Understanding that punishments might not be the most effective approach in guiding children requires a shift towards compassion and empathy, and by doing so, we not only build stronger connections with our children, but also create a nurturing space where they can learn, grow and thrive.

Learn more about the different parenting styles to find one that suits you and in other news, should we just let kids do what they want? See the reaction to being a 'yes' mum.

There are 15 common signs your child is expressing anxiety, but parents can easily mistake it for a temper tantrum, according to a therapist-mum. Here's what she suggests you should do about it instead of getting cross.

Parenting is not easy, and if you're suffering from 'mum guilt' or are struggling with how to explain the mental load to your partner while trying to juggle work, home and looking after your kids then even the slightest thing your child says, such as "I can't sleep" or "I don't know" when you ask them a simple question can make you lose your patience, especially at bedtime.

But mum Melissa, who is also a therapist on TikTok, @momtherapist, has discovered the hidden ways children communicate anxiety - and it's not as easy to spot as you'd think. After all a child might not be able to express anxiety through commonly known symptoms including sweating, trembling or shaking, having heart palpitations or feeling irritable, tense or restless.

She said, "Kids talk about anxiety in a whole lot of ways that parents don’t pick up" and proceeded to share on TikTok 15 ways kids say they're feeling anxious without actually saying it.

15 ways kids say they're feeling anxious, without actually saying so...

1. My tummy hurts
2. I don't wanna go to school
3. I'm not hungry
4. I hate you
5. What if...what if...what if...
6. I need to pee again
7. I can't sleep
8. I don't know
9. My legs hurt
10. I just want to stay with you
11. Nobody wants to talk to me at school
12. Nobody likes me
13. My arms hurt
14. I think I'm getting sick
15. I don't like it

In response, some parents have admitted they can now recognise these traits in themselves from when they were a child, while others are noticing these phrases cropping up with their own children.

One parent shared, "As a mom of a child with anxiety: be their safe space to vent, scream, cry. Provide a consistent, safe and stable environment. Learn to pick up on these."

Another parent added, "When I was in first grade I missed a month of school because "my tummy hurts" my mom took me to a million specialists and put me on a bunch of meds for stomach problems. turns out I just have severe anxiety."

And a third parent said, "Thank you for this! I was trying to figure this out a few weeks ago before my son's online class. He was saying he didn’t want to go to class and so that’s when I got curious as to what he was feeling. Now I know what other stuff to look for."

Melissa explained what she does to help her children understand what they are feeling. She explained, "If kids understand what they’re feeling and when they’re feeling it, then we can cope with it appropriately.”

"We're just going to help them spend a little less time on their worries," the therapist added and suggested parents invest in keeping a worry-timer, a 10-15 minute set time where parents listen to their child's worries. She clarified, "We're not going to solve problems or offer solutions. We're just going to listen."

She also suggested saving a child's worry for a worry time and keeping the child "distracted by doing something fun or enjoyable."

In other family news, another change of behaviour in children might make you think Is your child not playing with their toys? 3 reasons why and what to do about it and what to do when they say 'I'm NOT going to school today'.

Do you always ask your child about their day at school but don't get much response? A teacher has shared her top conversation starters and it involves the SOCK formula (and no, not the kind you wear on your feet).

If you're doing the school run in the afternoon, one of the things most parents cannot wait to ask their children is how their day has been with a series of questions to ask kids. But when you're met with a wave of silence or just the typical one-word answers, it's only natural to think that something is wrong or that there's something they're not telling you. Your mind might naturally go into overdrive thinking it could be because they've shown 'mean' behaviour at school instead.

But we can help you transform your deadly silent car journey home or relatively quiet stroll into one where you cannot stop your child from talking about what they've done - and it's all thanks to teacher Katie Plunkett.

She shared on her Instagram some tips for parents to put into practice - and it's NOT asking them 'Did you have fun?' as Katie explains why parents must scrap that question.

She said, "We often greet kids with this question after events, sometimes before they even buckle up or walk through the door. Kids sense our relief when we get a positive response, which can lead them to associate fun with approval and safety. However, instilling the belief that every experience should be “fun” creates unrealistic expectations. While we desire their happiness, we risk raising a generation chasing constant fun and facing perpetual FOMO (fear of missing out)."

Instead, she suggests taking a different approach. and it involves the smart word S.O.C.K. She explained, "If you really want insight into your child’s experiences, try asking a S.O.C.K. question..."

What is a S.O.C.K question?

1. Specific - What was something challenging you faced? | Can you tell me about how you felt when....? | Is there someone new you met or talked to? How do you feel when you’re with [friend’s name]? | What was the coolest thing you saw or did?
2. Open-ended - What was the most surprising part of your day? | What would you change about today if you could?
3. Creative - What’s one new thing you learned today?
4. Kid-friendly - Who did you spend the most time with today? | What’s something special about one of your friends? | Did anything make you curious or wonder why? | Was there something you didn’t understand but want to?

Katie added that asking a child “Did you have fun” is "vague, leading, and sets unrealistic expectations. S.O.C.K. questions are accessible, engaging, and get kids talking."

Katie offered parents a chance to receive a link to 50 free S.O.C.K. questions by commenting 'TALK' on her post, and hundreds have done so. So if you struggle to get your kids to open up, clearly you're not alone.

One parent said, "I appreciate these questions as my eight-year-old loves to talk and some open-ended questions would be great starting points."

Another parent said, "I love this! I remember being a kid and being clueless as to how to answer my mom at the end of the school day!"

And a third parent added, "This is wonderful, no putting them on the spot or making them think negatively."

In other family news, “This is not the answer” – why the latest government scheme to increase school attendance has enraged parents, and we totally get it and 'Are you even listening to me?' If it feels like your teenager is tuning you out, they probably are, but research proves it’s not personal, just science.

Sibling rivalry is so common between kids, especially when brothers and sisters are constantly vying for your attention. 

We know that parents grappling with the everyday squabbling and bickering that goes on between their kids will have tried preventing sibling rivalry and family conflicts in any way they can in order to keep both of their kids happy, but boy, it sure is exhausting when you’re having to separate brothers and sisters on a regular basis. 

If that sounds familiar, take comfort in this new study which has found that siblings who fight during childhood actually fare better in later life – and the reason why the second child is more likely to succeed. Scientists from the University of Cambridge's Centre for Family Research said that arguments between brothers and sisters actually increase social skills, vocabulary and development, as well as nurturing a competitive spirit.

Professor Claire Hughes, one of the scientists who conducted the study, said: "When children are arguing, my research makes the case that they are actually benefiting from the confrontation. Parents who are being worn down by constant bickering among children should take comfort in the fact that their children are learning important social skills. Second siblings do better in our tests and children who have better social understanding go on to be more popular in later life. In fact, the balance of our evidence suggests that children’s social understanding may be accelerated by their interaction with siblings in many cases."

The study, called Toddlers Up, analysed 140 children across a five-year period, which included video footage of children interacting with family members, friends and strangers, and revealed that siblings can have a profound effect on a child's social skills, even if their relationship is "less than cordial".

So, although it appears healthy sibling rivalry does exist, just note that the project team warn that sustained sibling rivalry can result in behavioural problems and issues with relationship-building later in life, it's the milder forms of conflict that have a beneficial impact on development in childhood.

In other family news, Prince Harry shares Archie and Lilibet's 'sibling rivalry' has similar aspects to his and William's and find out why your second-born kid might be more naughty.

Children can exhibit mean behaviour in a number of ways, but more often than not, kids reverting to meanness is a pretty natural part of their development. 

Raising kind kids is probably one of your top priorities as a parent, so it can be uncomfortable to hear – or see – that your child is displaying different types of bullying at school, and it can be even more concerning if cyberbullying is added to the equation.

Firstly, we want you to know that you won't be the only parent going through this, and actually, kids can act out by name-calling or excluding other kids because they’re still navigating the social dilemmas and situations of playground drama – and don't know how else to handle it.

Psychologist Dr Alicia del Prado and author of It’s Time To Talk (And Listen) appeared on the CBS/KPIX morning show to talk about how to handle your child demonstrating mean behaviour. Firstly, she said it's important to come from a place of compassion to help parents effectively address their child's misbehaviour: "Underneath the mean attitude and actions are often complicated feelings of anger, helplessness, loneliness, sadness, and struggle," she points out.

“By understanding the reasons your child is being mean, you will have the knowledge to help them change their behaviour. Don't vilify your child, but also don't be in denial about what they are doing. Show them unconditional love and let them know you are there for them, while also pointing out what is incorrect and needs to be fixed. Think about your own experiences with "mean" behaviour. Your self-awareness about your own history will help you be able to communicate authentically as your children navigate what is happening with them.”

5 tips to handle a 'mean girl' situation

1. Avoid vilification: Instead of vilifying your child for displaying “mean behaviour”, seek to understand their experiences and emotions.
2. Open communication: Encourage open communication about instances of “mean” behaviour to create a safe space for your child to express themselves.
3. Foster empathy: Focus on fostering empathy in your child rather than resorting to punitive measures. Help them to understand the impact of their actions on others.
4. Teach emotional regulation: Guide your child in developing emotional regulation skills, helping them navigate complex feelings and respond to situations with empathy.
5. Model kindness: Set an example by modelling kindness and positive behaviour, reinforcing the values you want your child to embrace.

Overall, Dr Alicia would encourage you to advocate for a compassionate and understanding approach to help shape your child's behaviour positively but just know, you're doing a great job.

If your child is having a hard time at school, we’ve found some of the best books on bullying for them and you, and try some of these kindness activities for kids to boost their mental health.

Kids are demanding luxury skincare products instead of toys, and experts think social media could be to blame. Here's what you need to know...

As a parent, you may well have spent some time trying to find the products that will help you look less tired and the best night creams to banish wrinkles, thanks to the stress and strain that parenting can put on your skin. But you may well have noticed that your kids have taken an unprecedented interest in these so-called anti-ageing products too.

Experts have warned that children as young as 10 are seeking out these expensive skincare products, and it comes not long after Dior launched a luxury skincare line for babies. It's thought that the trend largely comes from social media, which has seen young people – and mainly young girls – served adverts and content promoting anti-ageing products.

Aside from these luxury products being a redundant choice for children (not to mention a waste of money) dermatologists have warned that they could damage their sensitive skin. Dr Emma Wedgeworth, of the British Cosmetic Dermatology Group, told The Guardian, "It is something I see all the time [at work] and as a mother it is … something I am battling with as well. I have an interest in adolescent skin conditions and see a lot of teens brought in by their parents who are using expensive and extensive skincare routines."

Meanwhile, Dr Anjali Mahto from Self London told the publication, "Most have been heavily influenced by social media (TikTok in particular) and influencers who are showing their in-depth routines, most often accompanied by luxury skincare brands. There is often an unhealthy focus on anti-ageing too, despite their young age."

She added, "I do have concerns about [children] using ingredients like vitamin C, vitamin A (retinoids) and exfoliating acids like AHAs and BHAs. They’re not necessary on young skin and I think the psychological aspect of starting an ‘anti-ageing’ routine this young is detrimental."

Instead, experts recommend a simple skincare routine at a young age, such as cleansing twice a day and using a light moisturiser, as well as sunscreen if UV rays are high.

And the trend has been noticed more widely, with older customers and beauty store staff taking to TikTok to comment on the trend too. Hundreds have taken to the platform to share their opinions on the new phenomenon.

In one video that has been viewed 4.7 million times, TikTok user chloevanberkel asks, "Has anyone else noticed that every time you go into Sephora now it’s just all little girls?". She went on to explain how "sad" she found it that these young girls were asking for beauty products instead of toys from their parents. Search the #sephora tag on TikTok and you'll find hundreds of videos like these, with users talking about their experiences of witnessing children in beauty stores, browsing pricey products such as Drunk Elephant, Sol de Janeiro and Rare Beauty.

In fact, the trend has become so widespread that cult skincare brand Drunk Elephant has even posted on Instagram explaining which of their products are suitable for kids and tweens. In the caption, it wrote, "Yes! Many of our products are designed for all skin, including kids and tweens. First, I would say stay away from our more potent products that include acids and retinols – their skin does not need these ingredients quite yet."

The skincare company added, "Here’s a list of our products that are safe for kids and tweens to use: Beste, Lala, Bora (it’s very rich, so this one depends on level of dryness), F-Balm, Wonderwild, Virgin Marula Oil, Umbra Sheer, B-Hydra, D-Bronzi, O-Bloos, Lippe, Pekee, Kamili Body Cleanser, Sili Body Lotion, Sili Whipped, Wild Marula Tangle Spray, Cocomino shampoo + conditioner."

However, followers in the comments weren't impressed with Drunk Elephant's attempt to market their products towards kids – many of which cost upwards of £30. One user commented, "But why are kids using any kind of skincare besides sunscreen. It’s so unnecessary", while another said, "No KID needs skincare but unfortunately social media is convincing them they do".

Others defended the brand, with one commenter writing, "I'm so over adults deciding what a kid should use. If it's not your kid, keep quiet and let people enjoy things."

Looking for top beauty buys? We've rounded up the best perfumes of all time and the best long-lasting perfumes too. You might also want to check out these hand creams for dry hands and these eye creams for dark circles.

Navigating our kid’s emotions can be a tricky business – especially when you’re faced with an angry child. 

Tantrums and outbursts are probably quite frequent in your house right now, with the ‘I’m not going to school today!’ argument at the centre of it all. But when you think you've tried every discipline hack in the book, know that there are other ways to help children manage their anger. Because contrary to what you might think, anger is actually a healthy emotion, claims child psychologist Jazmine McCoy. And although you’d be forgiven for wanting to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible, the founder of The Mom Psychologist says that treating each confrontation as an opportunity could help your child learn how to deal with their anger in a healthy way. After all, research conducted at George Mason University suggests that self-regulation (managing emotions and impulses) is beneficial to children’s mental health, improving their cognitive performance and positively impacting their ability to make friends at school. The end result? A happy and successful child, Jazmine says. 

There’s no need to walk on eggshells when you feel like your child might explode with rage either – instead, try facing it head on: “Anger is an emotion that’s a message,” says Jazmine. “It’s here to tell us something important. So let’s pay attention to it.”

4 ways to help your child cultivate healthy anger

1. Implement clear boundaries

It’s tempting to question why they’re acting this way, but it may help for your child to know that you're on the same team. Jazmine recommends parents make it clear that they are here to help and that they acknowledge how their child is feeling in the moment. But that’s not to say door-mattery is on the cards, as Jazmine said you can still state boundaries and reiterate that they must not be crossed. “Say your child gets angry and starts to yell. You can draw a boundary: ’Hey, [this is] important. I want to hear what you have to say. But it is hard to understand when you’re yelling ... Let’s calm our bodies down.”

2. Acknowledge your child’s emotions

Often, kids won’t have the emotional maturity to communicate how they’re feeling without having an angry outburst or getting upset – and that’s where you come in. In a post on her Instagram (@themompsychologist), Jazmine suggests making your child feel seen and heard by saying: “Wow, you’re really upset about this. When you’re ready, I’d love to hear more about what’s going on for you and what you need.” By doing this, you’ll be able to have a rational conversation and talk things through.

3. Try to deescalate the situation

Deep breathing is useful for stressful situations, particularly when it comes to kids, so instead of saying ‘Take a deep breath for me’, do the practice together, and your child might respond better if they realise you’re not trying to force them into something.

4. Don't fight fire with fire

We understand that it's not realistic to approach every situation with your child perfectly so it comes down to the messages we send and how we model our anger, says Jazmine. “Do we just yell and [then] pretend like nothing ever happened? Or do we say, ‘You know what, I feel frustrated, I take accountability, I’m apologising, and this is how I’m going to change [and] cope with those feelings. And I’m going to model this for you."

By modelling this type of behaviour, it'll give our kids the confidence to know that anger is OK, as well as how to deal with it in a healthy way.

Parenting is a minefield and you might be wondering, is lying to your kids OK or the four TikTok parenting trends that are well worth your while.

A parenting expert has shared the number one parenting choice that destroys kids’ confidence and it's something everyone has been guilty of at one time.

Pushing your kids academically is a good thing, right? You want them to do their best and by studying, attending extracurriculars and going the extra mile with homework, they will find success and thank you in the future. 

New research by parenting researcher Jennifer Breheny Wallace however,  reveals that instead of improving your child's chance at success, by pushing them so hard to be successful, you're actually be deteriorating their desire to succeed. She calls this 'The Encore Effect.' “The idea is kids, particularly in affluent communities, can carry a particular burden, which is to replicate their parents’ wealth,” she told CNBC. 

So why is this a problem? Surely every parent wants their child to be better off than they were? Of course they do, but by pushing this onto kids and not realising the changing economic climate where tuition fees are higher, colleges/universities are harder to get into, and high paying jobs are near impossible to walk into, the child is put into an impossible situation. 

“Parents and kids know today that it is much harder as we’ve ushered in this steep inequality. It is no longer a given that each generation will do as well as their parents, if not better."

Using the example of an eighth-grade boy she spoke to, Wallace shared that he wanted to be an architect. Or, at least, he did until he researched the price of his parents house, compared it to the annual salary of an architect, and changed his dream to one with an annual income that meant he could actually afford a house like his parents have. 

“It does not take a forensic accountant to uncover a parent’s lifestyle," she explained. "So for kids, if you aren’t able to replicate that, it registers to a child as not being able to measure up to their parents and it can feel like a failure to not be able to do as well as your parents.”

The major problem is, according to Wallace, that children are not pursuing things they enjoy anymore due to the pressure of future success and the desire for high earnings. 

While some parents think they're encouraging their children to do their best and fulfil their potential, what's really being told to the child is that they need to earn a high salary and have a successful career to be worth anything in the world. 

“Kids today are conflating their sense of self with their achievements,” Wallace said. Instead, she recommends that parents reassess the idea of success to, in turn, help their kids separate their academic achievements from their self-worth.

To get more parenting advice and family news from experts, why not read these questions to ask kids after school: 14 of the best from the experts, or learn how to reduce kids' screen time. 

A renowned educator has revealed how an 'unpopular' parenting rule helped her to raise three extremely successful children, two on whom are CEOs and one whose a doctor. 

Choosing a parenting style can be a difficult task. 2023's most popular parenting trend has undoubtedly been gentle parenting, but the style has received just as much criticism as it has praise. So where do you start? 

Of course, how you raise your child is an incredibly personal choice to make, one you make alone after reading up on all the facts. But one expert and renowned educator has urged parents, no matter what style they use to parent their kids, to try out her 'unpopular' parenting rule as she believes it was the key to her now grown-up children's successes. 

Esther Wojcicki, 81, is known as the 'Godmother of Silicon Valley' not just for the amount of students who leave her classes as entrepreneurs in the tech field, but also because her own children are incredibly successful. You may know two of her three daughters; Susan Wojcicki, who is the CEO of YouTube and Anne Wojcicki, who is the co-founder and CEO of 23andMe. Her third daughter, Janet Wojcicki, while out of the public eye, is a doctor and professor of paediatrics. 

Esther is also the author of How to Raise Successful People: Simple Lessons for Radical Results - available on Amazon. She's clearly got the credentials to back up her parenting style. But that doesn't mean everyone will like what she has to say when it comes to her favoured parenting rules for children. 

Arguing against helicopter parenting in a recent piece for CNBC, Susan wrote, "There were many unpopular parenting rules I followed as a young mother. But my number one was, 'Don’t do anything for your kids that they can do for themselves.' The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they’ll be."

Using what she calls the 'I do, we do, you do method,' Susan encourages parents to show their kids how to handle daily tasks such as setting their own alarms, picking out their school clothes, helping with meals, and checking their own homework only a few times before then leaving them to do them alone. 

She writes, "Chores are especially important. Washing dishes was a big one in our house. All my daughters stood on a little stool at the sink and washed the dishes after dinner."

The idea behind leaving kids to figure these things out for themselves is that practice makes perfect and through that practice kids will gain confidence as they learn to do things for themselves.

"Mastery means doing something as many times as it takes to get it right," Susan says. "To be clear, I’m not saying you should make your kids do things they don’t understand or aren’t capable of, nor am I saying you should let them play in the street if it isn’t safe, or walk to the store if the neighbourhood is dangerous.

"The idea is to teach them how to cope with what life throws at them. When you trust kids to make their own decisions, they start to feel more engaged, confident and empowered. And once that happens, there’s no limit to what they can achieve."

If you'd like to raise a future entrepreneur or CEO like Esther, you could also try giving your baby one of the most successful baby names of 2023. In other family news, A parenting expert reveals her discipline hack for kids of all ages, A toddler expert shares her simple tip for preventing sibling rivalry - and she promises it will be 'life-changing', and This clever hack stopped an 11-year-old being abducted - and it's so simple. 

Focusing on effort and not outcome and being a “strength spotter”, is a great technique for raising confident and resilient children, according to a Harvard-qualified parenting expert. 

All parents will have different praising techniques for their children, whether it’s taking note of the Swedish secret to raising happy and resilient kids or trying one of these methods from a Norland nanny. But, there’s a type of praise you should be avoiding if you want to raise happy and successful kids, apparently. 

Picture this scenario: your child comes home from school and tells you that they scored well on a spelling test. You praise them and say how proud you are of them – you may even reward them with a little treat. 

That’s all well and good, but according to toxic parenting expert Jennifer Breheny Wallace, there’s a better way to go about giving praise. 

Instead of highlighting specific achievements, Jennifer (who’s also the author of Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic and What We Can Do About It), advises that you praise the characteristics that helped get them there. 

Why? Well, Jennifer says by noticing and acknowledging others’ strengths in a positive way, you’ll make your children feel like they are worthy and truly matter. 

For example, if they score highly on a test, you could praise them for their perseverance and dedication. Or, if they’ve made a new friend at school, you could praise them for their kindness and generosity. 

We know that changing to this tactic is easier said than done – and Jennifer agrees. She told CNBC Make It: “We think it is our job to improve on our kids’ weaknesses but, really, [it’s] to be, in the words of researchers, “a strength spotter” and really seeing our kids’ strengths so that we can reinforce the good in them and not be so fixated on the negative.”

To help you figure out what to say, Jennifer encourages families to take the VIA Character Strengths Survey – a free tool to discover your best qualities and using them to your strengths. 

Playing to individual strengths is like a triple threat for your child: it could help to boost confidence, increase happiness and accomplish goals. 

“Discussing the results as a family can help you identify and talk about the ways your kids embody specific strengths on a daily basis,” explains Jennifer.

Don’t be afraid to ask your child’s teachers for their opinion too, as they’ll be used to recognising strengths and giving praise.

In other parenting news, this TikTok nanny reveals the four toys she would never buy children for Christmas and David Beckham's Lego obsession is the mindful parenting trick you didn't know you needed. 

Worried about how your child will handle friendships at school this year? Goodto asked parenting author Tanith Carey to share her top tips for helping kids have happier relationships in the playground and beyond. 

You've done all you can to prepare your child for the new school term, from forking out for the best school shoes and packing their bag with the best back-to-school supplies but now they're on their own. The playground calls.

And as a new school term starts, it’s not just how well our children will do in the classroom that worries parents. It's also how well their friendships will go in the year ahead. That’s because we all know how inconsolable kids are when they get left out, have no one to sit with at lunch or have a falling-out with their mates.

Happy school friendships don't just happen

Traditionally, parents have been led to believe children should just magically ‘know’ how to handle friendship flare-ups and there’s nothing we can do from the other side of the school gates.

But as the author of The Friendship Maze: How to help your child navigate their way to positive and happier friendships - the first UK book to look at the social science of kids' relationships - I've discovered a range of ways to help children have a smoother ride socially in the coming year too. 

These are my top tips...

1. If your child needs practice getting to know new kids

Eat together...
Gathering around a table to eat is about much more than simply sharing a meal. Experts who analysed the eating habits of more than 24,000 children, aged six to eleven, found they had better social skills if they regularly sat around the table with their families. The experience gives them the chance to practise building blocks of friendship, like taking turns, listening, sharing ideas, and expanding conversation. It can be any meal, so make these occasions as regular as you can.

2. If your child often has quarrels

Train your child how to view the world from other people’s perspectives...
This ability is an essential component of friendship that enables key skills like compromise, listening and sharing. Get your child into the habit of stepping into other people’s shoes in everyday life, whether it’s imagining how a film or story book character would feel – or asking them to imagine how someone they know feels in a challenging situation they are facing.

3. If your child sometimes has nobody to play with

Show them how to join in...
We all fear our kids being left out at break time. But with a little help, they can spot the signals and learn how to be invited in.  Social scientists have found that rather than saying: ‘Can I come into your game?’, it works better for a child to show quiet but friendly interest in the game that’s going on. 

Help kids think of ways to contribute by coming up with a new role in a 'Let's Pretend' game -  or offering a new skill if others are playing a sport. Make it clear that not all their attempts will work and not to feel personally rejected. 

4. If your child is a ‘bad loser'

Teach them to be 'good sports'...
One reason children get rejected is that kids dislike peers who cheat in games, argue about rules, throw strops when they lose, or brag when they win. If your child has these tendencies, work with them. Play turn-taking games at home and role model how to have fun without getting hung up on the result. Explain how winning and losing is temporary. Go to YouTube and find examples of sporting role models losing with good grace. 

5. If your child sometimes gets excluded by their mates

Give kids social outlets outside school...
Offer your child alternative activities and playdates outside school so classroom friendships are not the be-all-and-end-all. It means if your child has a social hiccup with schoolmates - which they inevitably will as part of 'normal social conflict',  they still have the comfort and security of having other friends who are not involved.  

6. If your child is a show-off

Talk about connection...
Children may show off and brag in the belief that if they impress others, they will like them more. In fact, children resent others who act superior. To help them connect with other children, talk about how it helps to look for what they have in common with others, and talk about that, rather than focus on what makes them better than others. For the start of the term, practicing with them how to ask friendly questions will help them find areas they have in common with others. 

7. If your child is hyper-competitive

Suggest your tween compete for their personal best...
At neutral times, you could suggest there is only one person in life who is truly worth beating, and that’s themselves. If they see how far they have come, they will also see how far they can go. Make it clear that for others to succeed, others don’t have to fail. 

And what about the grown-ups?

We all know that kids' friendships can be complicated. But we don’t often talk about how complex the relationships between parents can be too. Why else would we feel nervous about having no one to talk to in the line at pick-up time?

As the author of 'The Friendship Maze’, as well as mum of two grown-up kids myself, I know these bonds with other parents are critically important, so there’s a friendlier, warmer atmosphere for both us and our kids. So what are the best ways to get on well with the other grown-ups?

8. Be open to everyone

Be prepared to be friendly to every parent in your child’s class, not just the ones you feel you have more in common with. By role-modelling this for your child, you will be passing on one of the most important life lessons there is: that everyone is deserving of basic courtesy and dignity. Being that parent who ‘smiles’ and says ‘Good Morning’ will set you apart and go a long way.

9. Dodge the cliques

One of the main reasons for tension at the school gates is that cliques don’t only form in the playground - they happen among parents too.  These are often headed by Queen Bee (mums) or King Pin (dads) and their sidekicks, who often only invite the kids of other parents in their circle for playdates. This narrows your child’s social life and leaves other parents feeling left out, often souring the atmosphere. Instead, be proud to be a ‘floater’; a parent who stays out of the school-gate politics,  is friendly to everyone, and offers your child playdates with a wide choice of peers. 

10. Check your competitive urges

We all want our kids to do well. But when we start measuring their achievements against others, it wrecks relationships with other parents. That’s because competitive power plays put others on their guard and make playground conversations feel more like stressful duels, than enjoyable chats. 

So, if you feel the urge to point out the fact your child is already racing ahead with their 12 times table when you know full well the rest of the class is still on their fours? Save it for the grandparents - who will be just as pleased as you - not the other parents who will resent your one-up-man-ship. 

11. Emphasise what’s best for the kids

If another parent makes a competitive power-play against YOU, side-step it by drawing attention to the goals you and another parent BOTH have in common, whether it’s for all the kids in the class to get better at numeracy, whatever their level or them all to put in a lovely performance in the school play or sports match. 

12. Avoid going into battle on their behalf

Many schools gate relationships rupture when parents go into battle - or start ignoring each other - because their kids have fallen out.  But always remember you’re only hearing one side of the story from your child. Rather than get involved, which will only spark defensive behaviour from the other parent, it’s better to train your child with the skills they need to handle friendship issues themselves. 

As I mentioned, ALL kids have a certain amount of normal ‘social conflict’. It’s part of their development. So, unless your child is being repeatedly targeted by a more socially powerful child who is deliberately trying to cause ongoing hurt, it’s better to allow them to develop skills of conflict resolution for themselves. The chances are your kids will be talking again soon. Parent fallouts are often far more difficult to repair. 

To find out more about how to help your child enjoy the school year ahead go to The Friendship Maze: How to help your child navigate their way to positive, happier friendships, published by Summersdale.

You'll find lots more back-to-school content in our Back to School Month hub - don't miss Teachers reveal the best ways to get your children back-to-school ready – and why you should never pack their bags for them and check out Confessions from parents about what they’re most looking forward to once the kids go back to school. 

How to raise a strong girl is at the top of the list when it comes to being a mum-of-daughters. Strength in their body language, voice and character is a must as they grow up.

Children literally are the future, and the aim is to raise happy humans, with self-esteem a top priority. Whether emulating famous women in history or learning all about gender equality with the best International Women's Day quotes, the steps are small but important.

A study by Girlguiding UK revealed that over 1 in 4 girls aged seven to ten believed boys were better than girls at “being strong”. While over half of girls under 21 said that they felt they could not speak freely because of their gender. To celebrate International Women's Day, we spoke to Nicola Rowley, author and Founder of the Working Mum Association, about how to raise a strong girl.

Nicola says, firstly, support and encouragement for children need to start at a young age. “Parents should be mindful of the language they use around their children and look to instill from an early age that their daughters can be and do anything."

Goodto.com's Family Editor, Stephanie Lowe agrees: "Language is so important with young children, especially during their formative years; they're little sponges. Also, tone and mannerisms. So be aware of any eye-rolling, tutting, or huffing, when talking about strength in women and girls, don't be afraid to use that as a conversation opener."

"Nothing is off limits." Nicola emphasizes, "When reading books, be aware if the main characters are all male or if there is a male bias. Girls need to see role models so they can grow up feeling confident that they too can achieve great things.

“There is a saying that empowered women empower women and on this International Women’s Day nothing could be more true. We need to support and guide the next generation of girls so they grow up without limiting beliefs or feeling they can’t do something. We need to harness their inner strength so they too can grow up to be strong, courageous leaders of tomorrow.”

With this in mind, here are seven fantastic books that we love on how to raise a strong girl and equip your daughter so that she grows into the strongest woman she can be...

1. Martha Maps It Out 

Author Leigh Hodgikinson is an award-winning animator and worked as art director on the BAFTA-award winning animated series, Charlie and Lola. This is a beautiful story about how we're all connected. Martha invites us into her wonderful world but she's so tiny, in the context of the universe, that we can't even see her. We zoom as Martha maps out the planet including the solar system down the world around her, and all the way to her bedroom and her head. Follow this with a map-making session and you'll have a whole afternoon's entertainment sorted.

Age suitability: 3+ years |  Paperback

VIEW AT LOVE READING 4 KIDS | £6.29

2. Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls

Age suitability: 5+ years |  Hardback

This beautifully illustrated children’s book is filled with 100 stories about the lives of 100 extraordinary women from around the world. A great conversation starter for International Women's Day.

Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls is inspiring young girls to look to the women who have changed the world around them – from medicine and science to film and the media. Whether your little one is reading this by themselves, or you’re reading it to them – it’s perfect for setting them on the path to being confident and strong young women.

We also love this Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls: 50 Postcards (£13.49) set from Love Reading - the perfect pressie for the rebel girl in your life.

VIEW AT AMAZON | £21.55

3. Ruby’s Worry

Age suitability: 5+ years |  paperback

It’s important to tell young girls that they can reach for the sky and achieve all their dreams. But sometimes it’s not all rosy growing up. At some point your little one will be worried about something, even something very small. And any parent wants their child to know that they can talk to them, because they’ll always be able to make it better!

This adorable picture book is suitable for any potential worrier over the age of 5, offering a message of ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’.

VIEW AT AMAZON | £5.99

4. Little People, BIG DREAMS

Age suitability: 4-7 years |  hardback

This extraordinary series of books tells the stories of people like Agatha Christie, suffragette Emmeline Pankhurst and even designer Coco Chanel. All women who have followed their dreams to achieve big things!

Studies show that girls are less likely to push for what they want, so by encouraging them from a young age you can help them dream big and fly high.

VIEW AT AMAZON | £5.50

5. Gratitude Journal

Age suitability: 9+ years |  hardback

Journaling is known to help children express their thoughts and feelings. It helps them to make connections between how they feel, what is important to them and how that matters in the world around them.

As well as encouraging them to write well, a journal is a great way for your young one to reflect o what they’re good at and what they’d like to achieve in the future. Plus, writing and drawing is known to decrease stress and promote relaxation. This one also comes in a fun unicorn design!

VIEW AT AMAZON | £5.99

6. The Confidence Code for Girls

Age suitability: 8-12 years |  hardback

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook said about this book, “I wish I had this book when I was a girl – and I’m really glad today’s girls have it now.”

It’s the best book for your tween-turning teenager. Packed full of exciting graphic novel strips and illustrations, quizzes and fun lists – this book tells stories from real girls about how to deal with failure, embrace risk and be the most confident they can be.

VIEW AT AMAZON | £5.99

7. Things Nobody Tells You When You're Growing Up

Age suitability: 9+ years  |  hardback

As much as we might not want it to happen, children grow up quickly. You might have a teenager on your hands before you know it, and it’s important to be prepared.

This book is a no-nonsense guide covering 12 topics, all about the truth of growing up. From the low-down on real friendships, how to be kind to yourself as well as lots about boosting self-esteem and wellbeing – this book is for the ones that want to be independent and find out things for themselves. So basically any teenager!

VIEW AT AMAZON | £5.99

8. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read

Age suitability: Parents  |  hardback

The number 1 best seller on Amazon. And, straight off the Sunday Times Bestseller List, this is the book that you’ll be glad to have read. In a funny and fascinating manner, renowned psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals what it means to be a parent, what matters and the behaviour that should be avoided.

Everyone needs a little advice sometimes, even parents!

VIEW AT AMAZON | £9.65

World Book Day costume ideas are sometimes all you need, just the inspiration... well, that and copious amounts of eyeliner and imagination.

World Book Day is on Thursday 7th March 2024, in the UK, the literary event always falls on the first Thursday in March. The day is dedicated to celebrating reading and all things books.  Many schools and nurseries across the nation invite their pupils to dress up as book characters as a fun and engaging way to do this. So be sure to take inspiration from some of the best children's books as well as from these classic children's book quotes.

While kids tend to love dressing up it can be 'just another thing to do' for parents among the chaos that is family life. Goodto.com Family Editor, Stephanie Lowe says: "Don't be afraid to recycle whatever you have available. Last year, my son went in his skeleton Halloween costume, holding a copy of the book Funnybones. Winner! Oh and also, get that eyeliner out - it can be used for so many things!" Classic is great, but when it comes to what's trending we also saw a lot of Wednesday Adams last year as well (off the back of the Netflix series Wednesday), this year we may see more Barbie due to the film's popularity - and yes we know 'it's not a book' in the classic sense, but everything seems to have a book attached to it in some way - have you seen the Barbie annuals? (view at Amazon, £7.26)

We know that not all children love to dress up, and this change from the norm can throw them, what seems fun and exciting to us as adults might be a bit overwhelming for them - they're not used to seeing everyone in costumes we have a few tips in our how to help a sensitive child article that might help. Otherwise, keep on scrolling for some epic World Book Day costume inspiration...

World Book Day costume ideas - 42 last-minute and homemade ideas

1. Zog World Book Day costume

Such a great costume idea, reuse a white Dr coat (if you have it) if you don't, a white t shirt or shirt with a 'Dr title' scrawled on it. Then add a Zog dragon toy or the book. 

You will need:

• White Dr coat / shirt
• Doctor things (stethoscope etc)
• Zog book/toy

Get the look:

2. Superworm World Book Day costume

Calling all Superworm fans! This is a great use of an existing costume if you have it, otherwise just brown top and trousers will work too. Then forage for some leaves to add. If you're feeling particularly crafty take some old cardboard and get drawing the characters from the book.

You will need:

• Brown trousers and top
• Leaves (material or real)
• Pens
• Cardboard

Get the look:

3. Ada Twist Scientist World Book Day costume

Fans of Ada Twist will love this easy-to-make World Book Day costume. Find a polka dot dress (or a red one will do) and grab a pair of washing-up gloves from the kitchen. Add a pair of safety goggles and you’re done!

You will need:

• A polka dot or red dress
• Washing up gloves
• Safety goggles

Get the look:

4. Postman Pat World Book Day costume

Everyone’s favourite postman is a really cute choice for nursery and preschool kids. If you’ve got an outfit already in your dressing up box, dig it out. Otherwise blue clothes and a peaked cap will do just as well. Don’t forget to add a little bag for all of those letters!

You will need:

• Postman Pat outfit/Blue clothes
• Peaked cap
• Shoulder bag

Get the look:

5. The Singing Mermaid World Book Day costume

When it comes to World Book Day leaning on what you already have at home is a no-brainer. So, if you have a fan of mermaids, then they will no doubt already own a costume of sorts, which makes The Singing Mermaid an easy option. Add a few homemade sea creatures from this Julia Donaldson favourite and you’re good to go. 

You will need:

• A mermaid costume
• A wrapping paper inner tube
• Card
• Felt tip pens

Get the look:

6. Where's Wally? World Book Day costume

A classic book to keep them quiet for ages also works as a super easy costume for you - the clothes you find don't have to be their size, oversized is cuter. Time to raid Dad's wardrobe this time.

You will need:

• Red hat (bonus points if striped)
• Blue and white striped top
• Round glasses OR eyeliner pencil drawn on

Get the look:

7. Hungry Caterpillar World Book Day costume

Well, the 'after' picture... it's him as a butterfly.  Most kids love this book so will find any way possible to go as a character for World Book Day. Cut out a mask from card and get your little one to help you decorate it with strips of colourful tissue paper. You can also add cardboard wings or add a pair of fairy wings from your dressing up box. 

You will need:

• Card
• Tissue paper
• Glue
• Butterfly wings (bought or made from cardboard and decorated)

Get the look:

8. Bob The Builder World Book Day costume

Firstly, sorry if you're now stuck singing 'Bob The Builder, can we fix it?' on loop. Secondly, this is a super easy costume to pull together after a bit of inspiration. Toolbelt optional. If you don't have one in the toy box, either borrow or forget about it. It's not a deal breaker. 

You will need:

• Dungarees
• Checked shirt
• Plastic hardhat
• And something that resembles a belt

Get the look:

9. Harry Potter Mandrake World Book Day costume

Harry Potter is a popular little wizard among Yr2 and upwards when it comes to World Book Day costume ideas. And here's your time to outdo them all, with this super clever take on the magical plant root, the Mandrake. Just make sure you cut the bottom of the pot out and either sand the edges down or pad with cotton wool, securing with tape. 

You will need:

• Brown top and bottoms  (or black will do)
• Brown face paint (or the soil affect)
• Green headband
• Leaves (plastic or real)
• Plastic large plant pot
• Braces or string (so secure the plant pot)
• Hot glue

Get the look: 

10. Ella Ella Ballerina and Swan Lake World Book Day costume

If you have a little ballerina at home then an easy Princess Odette costume from Swan Lake is the perfect choice for World Book Day. If you want to keep things simple, dress them in white and add a homemade mask and a little crown. Or if you fancy getting a bit more creative, you could make a winged cape from white material.

You will need:

• White top and trousers
• White card
• Black and orange felt tips
• Crown (either from the dressing up box or homemade from cardboard)
• White material for wings (optional)

Get the look:

11. Mr Messy World Book Day costume

Mr Men book characters are really fun to dress up as and you can always find one to suit your child’s personality. If you’re feeling creative you can draw out the front and back on a large piece of card and then simply use string to hang them over your little one’s shoulders. Alternatively you could just get a t-shirt with the character on it - job done!

You will need:

• Two large pieces of white card
• Pink and black paint and paintbrushes
• Pink string

Get the look:

12. The Scarecrows’ Wedding World Book Day costume

Is there anything cuter than Betty O’Barley and Harry O’Hay getting married in The Scarecrows’ Wedding? This Julia Donaldson classic is a great one for World Book Day, as it’s pretty easy to pull together with clothes you already have. Grab a pair of dungarees, a checked shirt, a hat and a pair of wellies. Then add a handful of straw and you’re done!

You will need:

• Dungarees
• A checked shirt
• A hat
• Wellies
• Straw

Get the look:

13. The Gruffalo mouse World Book Day costume

Surely one of the cleverest characters ever to be found in a children’s book, the little mouse from Julia Donaldson’s The Gruffalo is a sweet World Book Day option. You can make a simple mouse head from a cardboard box and add a few pipecleaners for those cute whiskers.   

You will need:

• Cardboard
• Pink and white paints and paintbrushes
• Black marker pen
• Brown pipecleaners
• Brown long sleeved top

Get the look:

14. Stick Man World Book Day costume

“I’m Stick Man, that’s me!” If you have a child who’s obsessed with sticks, then this is the perfect book choice for World Book Day. The great thing about this costume is that you can also be as inventive as you like. Making a costume from corrugated cardboard provides the perfect texture for bark, or you could just grab some twigs or leaves from the garden and attach them to a brown top.

You will need:

• Corrugated cardboard
• Scissors
• Tape
• White card
• Black marker
• Leaves

Get the look:

15. David Bowie World Book Day costume

The Little People Big Dreams books are brilliant for introducing little ones to trailblazers in different industries. If you have a music fan at home, then this David Bowie outfit is a super fun one. Find a snazzy outfit and throw on a cape, then grab your face paints and get creative!

You will need:

• Face paints
• A cape

Get the look:

16. Joke book World Book Day costume

This is the perfect outfit for any little comedians out there and is sure to give teachers a laugh too! It’s also a super easy one to make and you can let your kids help out as well. It will be a good chance to practise their handwriting and spelling.

You will need:

• A plain white t-shirt
• Pens
• Joke book (for inspiration)

Get the look:

17. What the Ladybird Heard World Book Day costume

Julia Donaldson’s What the Ladybird Heard is a firm favourite in every nursery and preschool. Who doesn’t love the quiet but wise little ladybird? It’s also a cute little costume for World Book Day and it’s a pretty simple one to make from a large piece of card.

You will need:

• A large piece of red card
• Black paint and paintbrush
• Red string
• Black hat
• Two black pipecleaners
• Black long sleeved top
• Red trousers

Get the look:

18. James and the Giant Peach World Book Day costume

It’s always hard to choose a favourite character from James and the Giant Peach. Is it centipede, earthworm, spider or maybe James himself? Either way, this is a nice simple one for World Book Day and you can even get the kids involved in making it. All you need is some art supplies and a bit of imagination.

You will need: 

• A large piece of card
• Orange and black paints and paintbrushes
• Paper and crayons

Get the look:

19. Doc McStuffins World Book Day costume

While it may have started out as a TV series, there are now so many Doc McStuffins books and this is a really cute option for nursery aged children. It’s also a straight-forward outfit to pull together, you just need a white jacket and a toy stethoscope. Plaits and a hairband are an added bonus!

You will need:

• A white jacket
• Toy stethoscope

Get the look:

20. Hermione Granger World Book Day costume

If you’ve got an Hermione Granger fan at home, then this is a nice easy costume to pull together. Simply add a black cloak over a shirt and tie and don’t forget that all important wand! This is a great one to reuse when Halloween comes around too.

You will need:

• A black cloak
• Wand

Get the look:

21. The Big Book of the Blue World Book Day costume

You’ll be spoilt for choice for ideas from The Big Book of the Blue. This turtle shell is easy to make and looks really effective. Just cut out the shape from a large cardboard box and then get creative with paints and glitter glue pens.

You will need:

• Cardboard
• Green and blue paints and paintbrushes
• Glitter pens
• String

Get the look:

22. Spiderman World Book Day costume

Don’t be afraid to reuse something from your dressing up box for World Book Day. Everyone’s favourite spidery superhero is a perfect choice. If you feel like getting creative you could always draw a spider web on your little one’s cheek with face paint.

You will need:

• Spiderman dressing up costume
• Face paint (optional)

Get the look:

23. Oi Frog! World Book Day costume

If your child loves the silliness of Oi Frog! then you can embrace it with a funny costume. Add yoghurt or jelly pots covered with white paper onto a green hat for its head and then dress your little one in green to complete the look. Cut the Oi Frog! sign out of a cereal box and paint it black, with white writing. 

You will need:

• Yoghurt/jelly pots
• White paper
• Glue
• Green hat
• Green top and trousers
• Cereal box
• Black and white paints and paintbrushes
• Fake log (optional)

Get the look:

24. Mad Hatter World Book Day costume

If you’re looking for a costume you can throw lots of colourful things at, the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland ticks all the boxes. Find the brightest clothes you can and top it off with the biggest hat you can find. For an extra prop, add a teapot or cup and saucer from your child’s play teaset.

You will need:

• Bright colourful clothes
• A large hat
• Toy teapot/cup and saucer

Get the look:

25. Emmeline Pankhurst Book Day costume

If you’re raising a little activist, Emmeline Pankhurst from The Little People Big Dreams books will make the perfect costume. It’s also a pretty easy one to pull together. You just need a dress and the all important sash (you can buy a plain white one and write on it.) Why not get your little one to make their own cardboard placard to wave too? 

You will need:

• A dress
• White sash
• Black marker pen
• Cardboard

Get the look:

26. Aquarium costume

If you have a fish-loving little one, the beautiful picture book Aquarium by Cynthia Alonso is a great World Book Day choice. Cut a hole in the top of a cardboard box and then get as creative as you like with some blue tissue paper and sea creatures cut from card. Seaweed made from green pipe cleaners will complete the look.

You will need:

• A cardboard box
• Blue tissue paper
• Card
• Paints and paintbrushes
• Green pipe cleaners

Get the look:

27. Miss Trunchball World Book Day costume

Another great idea, taking a secondary character from a book, but who is well known enough and making THAT your World Book costume idea - it's inspired. While you can buy this hoodie, a grey one and a black Sharpie will work just as well. Or if you don't want to lose a hoodie to it, just Pritt stick or staple a piece of paper to the front with '1972 Olympics' on. It is just one day after all.

You will need:

• Grey hoodie
• Hair ties for the top knot
• jogging bottoms
• Weekend bag
• Stern look
• Black boots

Get the look:

28. Pokemon World Book Day costume

A hugely popular game and book for many primary school kid (and secondary tbh). This costume makes light of a denim wardrobe, a great choice for a unisex World book costume idea, all you need to do is get creative with a Sharpie and a cap.

You will need:

• Blue jeans
• White trainers
• Blue jacket
• red and white cap
• Fingerless gloves (optional but really work)

Get the look:

29. You Must Bring A Hat World Book Day costume

Published in 2016 this is a newish book among the heavyweight classics but is surely a no-brainer when it comes to the easiest costume ever. You simply need to bring a hat (and maybe carry a copy of the book).

You will need:

• An outrageous hat (or two if you're feeling creative)

Get the look:

30. Peter Rabbit World Book Day costume

The classic Beatrix Potter tales just keep on giving. To really add an air of authenticity add whiskers to the face with eyeliner pencil and a bag of carrots.

You will need:

• Blue jacket
• Brown trousers
• Face paint or eyeliner pencil – to draw on bunny whiskers
• Bunny ears – cut from cardboard

Get the look:

31. Harry Potter World Book Day costume

Ah, Harry. The wizard loved the world over. Always a favourite character to go as for World Book Day, if you don't have the glasses just improvise with black eye liner.

You will need:

• Black cape (recycle Halloween one)
• White shirt
• Normal school trousers/skirt
• Stick (The wand)
• Stripey tie or scarf
• Round glasses OR eyeliner pencil drawn on
• Forehead lightening scar in lip pencil

Get the look:

32. Little Miss Princess World Book Day costume

The Little Mr Men and Little Miss books are the gifts that just keeps on giving. Just pile on all the sparkly princess paraphernalia you have and you're good to go.

You will need:

• Tiara (bought or made from card and decorated)
• Tutu (optional)
• Wand (optional)

Get the look:

33. Charlotte's Web World Book Day costume

At 70 years old, this is a book that has truly spanned generations. A tear-jerker but a must-read, plus it's a super easy costume... just be ready to lose a few pairs of black tights. Mums are always giving.

You will need:

• Black outfit
• Two pairs of black tights
• Screwed up newspaper (to stuff tights with)
• Stapler (to attach tights to back of top)

Get the look:

34. Horrible Histories: Ruthless Romans World Book Day costume

What kid wouldn't love to take in a sword and shield for World Book Day! This is a great one to involve your little one in creating, maybe the weekend before? Keep all your cardboard - you'll need it.

You will need:

• Sword (bought or made from cardboard)
• Shield (bought or made from cardboard and decorated)
• Helmet or crown (optional)

Get the look: 

35. Meg and Mog World Book Day costume

Loved throughout generations, this spooky duo is easy to do as you can simply recycle a classic Halloween costume and cut out a cardboard cat to paint - if you want to add that extra layer for a super easy World Book Day costume.

You will need:

• Black clothes
• Black witches hat (could paint paper black for homemade or recycle Halloween costume)

Get the look:

36. The Tiger Who Came To Tea World Book Day costume

This classic tale is almost 60  years old, would you believe; been loved by many generations. All you need is face paints and a bit of artistic flair and you're off.

You will need:

• Orange clothes (bonus points if striped)
• Orange face paint
• Black face paint

Get the look:

37. Look Up! World Book Day costume

Such an inspirational book! If you want to add more interest to the World Book Day costume, you can write and cut out some of the main character, Rocket's, best 'did you know facts about space, and staple them to the astronaut outfit. 

You will need:

• Orange clothes
• Bike helmet
• Tin foil (to cover bike helmet for an authentic astronaut feel)

Get the look:

38. Port Side Pirates World Book Day costume

This is a great book and stamped as a 'teacher's favourite' on Amazon. A pirate is such an easy costume to pull together too! You can either get your little one involved in making their own pirates hat or simply add your own headscarf for a splash of colour. Ahoy!

You will need:

• Paper
• Pirate hat stencil
• String
• Black eyeliner pencil
• Loo/kitchen roll inner cardboard
• Any pirate paraphernalia (i.e. eye patch)

Get the look:

39. 101 Dalmatians World Book Day costume

A Disney favourite, some might forget it was a book first. If they ask you can tell them that it was a children's novel, written by Dodie Smith in 1956 before becoming the cartoon we know and love today. And this will take you, if your little pup will sit still, approximately 6 minutes 35 seconds to do - an easy World Book Day win in our b ooks!

You will need:

• White t-shirt
• Black marker pen
• Black eyeliner pencil

Get the look: 

40. Gangsta Granny World Book Day costume

Another beloved bestseller from celebrity David Williams, and just celebrated its 10th anniversary. This is a great one for raiding mum's wardrobe. The wig is a bonus for World Book Day laughs, but not needed.

You will need:

• Bandit eye mask (or paint one on with black face paint)
• ‘Granny style’ blouse or cardigan
• Black skirt
• Old slippers
• Tights (for full effect, make sure they're too big, so they wrinkle around the ankles)
• Sack-style bag filled with screwed up paper
• A granny wig

Get the look:

41. The Boy in the Dress World Book Day costume

World Book Day costume ideas can be hard to come across, start by scanning your kids bookshelves. This best-selling children's book has such a strong and important story. “It's about celebrating difference and hopefully that speaks to everyone,” said author David Walliams. And, it's super easy to do for WBD! 

You will need:

• One dress
• A football

Get the look:

42. Funnybones World Book Day costume

Published in 1980 this book was big throughout the 90's and can still be found on school book shelves today. It's another great one for recycling a Halloween costume when it comes to World Book Day easy idea.

You will need:

• A recycled Halloween skeleton costume OR...
• Black clothes
• White paper cut into bones attached to black clothes

Get the look:

When is World Book Day?

World Book Day 2024 takes place on Thursday 7 March. In the UK, the literary event always falls on the first Thursday in March. The day is dedicated to celebrating reading and all things books. To mark the occasion, schoolchildren usually dress up as a character from their favourite children's book. It's often encouraged for them to bring along the accompanying book, so people know which literary icon they've dressed as.

Why are there two dates for World Book Day?

Because World Book Day is something honoured globally - in over 100 countries so not everyone celebrates it on the same day. In other parts of the world, the event takes place on April 23. This alternative date was chosen as it marks the same date several famous authors died: William Shakespeare and Spanish writers Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra and El Inca Garcilaso de la Vega.

For this reason, the rest of the world celebrates on 23rd April. Though there's an explanation as to why it's celebrated on a different day in England and Ireland.

Why is World Book Day different in the UK?

World Book Day falls on a different date in the UK because the worldwide April date conflicts with an important UK occasion: St George's Day. The patron Saint's Day falls on April 23 each year which is the same as World Book Day for other countries.

There's also the matter of the Easter school holidays which can fall on different dates in April each year. The March date ensures that UK schoolchildren will be in school to celebrate World Book Day with teachers and classmates. 

What are World Book Day tokens?

World Book Day £1/€1.50 World Book Day book tokens are given out ahead of the big day to children and young people via schools, nurseries, bookshops, and other World Book Day providers. 

Children can then visit their local bookstore to exchange their tokens for one of the World Book Day £1 book for free titles above. Or they can use it to get £1 off a full-price title that is £2.99 or more.

In addition to local independent book retailers, children should be able to redeem their vouchers at Asda, Blackwell’s (selected stores only), Morrisons, Sainsbury's, Tesco, The Works, Waterstones, and WHSmith.

When was the first World Book Day?

The first-ever World Book Day took place in April 1995 - though it wasn't until 2 years later in 1997 that the UK and Ireland got in on the fun too.

World Book and Copyright Day - as it's otherwise known - was created by UNESCO in 1995 during their General Conference in Paris. The aim was "to recognize the scope of books - a link between the past and the future, a bridge between generations and across cultures," reads the UNESCO website. 

"On this occasion, UNESCO and the international organizations representing the three major sectors of the book industry - publishers, booksellers, and libraries, select the World Book Capital for a year to maintain, through its initiatives, the impetus of the Day’s celebrations."

Here at GoodToKnow we are huge book fans and elsewhere on our site you can find the best personalised books for children (make great birthday gifts) our insight into how to get cheap and free books and the best books for teens (great conversation starters)

It’s Anti-Bullying Week from 16-20 November and if you or your child has ever been bullied you’ll know how important it is to stand up to all the different types of bullying there are.

Knowing the signs of bullying and what you can do to intervene and help your child can be tough. Anti-Bullying Week is a good opportunity for schools, parents and children to talk about bullying and open conversations on issues spotted and how to address them.

Sadly, bullying remains all too common. The Department of Education estimates that at least one child in every class in the country is bullied daily or weekly, while more than 85% of calls made from tweens and teens to the National Bullying Helpline are about cyberbullying.

Bullying isn’t just something that happens to kids either. It carries on into adulthood and seeps into our workplaces, homes and communities. That's why it’s essential we tackle it sooner rather than later.

Here’s some advice from the experts the different types of bullying, how to help victims and how to stop it.

What is bullying?

Kidscape – a charity that provides children and their carers with advice and practical tools to prevent bullying – defines bullying as: ‘the repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. It can happen face-to-face or through cyberspace, and comes in many different forms.’

Any sort of bullying can have an effect, and sometimes the consequences are devastating, resulting in low-esteem, self-harm and in some of the worst cases, suicide. “Research shows that if bullying isn't resolved, it can have an impact on a child's physical and mental health, both in the short and long-term,” explains Kidscape’s CEO Lauren Seager-Smith.

“This could include higher levels of anxiety and depression, physical illnesses linked to stress such as headaches and tummy upsets, and social phobia. It can impact the ability to make friends and form positive relationships with others.”

What are the different types of bullying

There are a few different types of bullying. It can take many forms – from exclusion, to name-calling, to hitting. The most common are:

• Cyber bullying - Increasingly common, this form of bullying takes place electronically or virtually, via phones, direct messaging apps and online. Tweens and teens who have access to electronic devices are most at risk.
• Verbal and emotional bullying - Name-calling, regular teasing, putting someone down, threatening or mocking.  Also spreading rumours or intentionally humiliating someone. Emotional bullying is similar to verbal bullying but can also include deliberately ignoring or excluding someone. “Most children will be on the receiving end of this type of bullying at some point, and may even bully others,” says Lauren.
• Physical bullying - Any form of physical violence, physically intimidating someone, or persistent unwanted physical contact. This includes kicking, punching, and grabbing or destroying belongings.

What is cyber bullying?

“Cyber bullying is any bullying behaviour through electronic means,” says Lauren. “Typically, it might include hurtful comments and posts, sharing private information about another person, impersonating someone online, threatening someone or encouraging them to harm themselves.”

“Parents need to be aware of what their child is doing online and what apps they’re downloading,” says Christine Pratt, founder of the National Bullying Helpline. “There needs to be an openness between the child and parent, to encourage the child to speak out. Explain that if they’re being blackmailed [with texts or images] what they’ve done is not a crime, but blackmail is."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOeRmP3XRHg

What is verbal bullying?

“The most common form of bullying is verbal. Think name calling, hurtful comments and 'banter' that crosses a line and is intended to hurt," says Lauren. It can also mean "laughing at someone, spreading lies or rumours, mocking someone's race, faith, age, sexuality, gender, disability, social status or perceived 'difference'."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdjUFfdJrDU

What is physical bullying?

“While it is common for children to be physical with each other and for there to be a certain amount of rough and tumble, this turns into bullying behaviour when a child or group of children, deliberately and repeatedly hurt another child,” explains Lauren. “This might include hitting, shoving, punching, tripping up, spitting on someone, burning someone, sticking gum in someone's hair, pulling clothes, or touching someone without their consent.”

Practical ways to help a bullied child

If you discover that your child is being bullied, you will feel a range of emotions. “The first thing to realise is that your emotions (anger, upset, helplessness and worry) are natural, so try not to beat yourself up,” says parenting coach Simon Benn.

“Stay calm, persistent and focused and take the lead to get it stopped," says Simon. "You can call the police if your child has been physically assaulted. If the attacker is younger than 10, the police may only warn them front of their parents, but this shock can work.”

Simon also suggests the following:

• Go online to and take a look at this process about how to stop bullying at schools and academies.
• Start a diary of when you’re seeing teachers, governors, local authority staff or the police – and log their responses. Keep it clear and factual, with dates and times. Include anything your child has told you, as well as changes in their behaviour, unexplained marks, or proof of bullying.
• Collect evidence of cyber bullying such as emails, texts and screen shots.
• Don’t contact the bully’s parents/guardians, the bully, or tell your child to do anything back. It won’t help the situation.
• Don’t keep your child off school unless you really need to. It can be harder to get them to go back and the school can’t help if your child’s not there. We all face difficult situations in life – it may seem harsh but learning resilience is part of growing up.

Emotional ways to help a bullied child

From an emotional point of view, Lauren advises that we teach kindness, open-mindedness and assertiveness to our kids. “As parents, we can model respectful relationships and praise our children for being kind about others. We can help them to celebrate difference, and teach them simple assertiveness skills so they can calmly and firmly say 'No' or 'Stop' to anyone who is trying to bully them,” she says.

“It can also help to encourage children to keep a diary,” says Christine. “Learning how to document feelings and facts [by logging the bullying] is good practice for the future.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOHSHW3viZk

Where to get help for kids experiencing all different types of bullying

These fantastic resources can help with different types of bullying.

• For more advice, visit Kidscape. Parents and carers can call 020 7823 5430 (Mon or Tues, 9.30-2.30pm).
• For more details about how to tackle cyber bullying, visit the Anti-Bullying Alliance website.
• Download the National Bullying Helpline’s Parents Guide or call the helpline on 0300 323 0169. Children can also call this number.

We've asked the experts all your burning questions about sleepwalking in children. Here's what they want you to know...

When you're a parent, you become familiar with all sorts of sleep problems. Dealing with a lack of sleep is pretty much in the job description - feeding, nightmares and early wake-ups for the school run are just a few of the reasons you feel tired - and no matter how exhausted you are, you have to find a way to wake up in the morning when there's a tiny human to look after.

Sleepwalking is another challenge that many parents face when it comes to bedtimes. It's very common in children - according to the NHS it's thought 1 in 5 children will sleepwalk at least once - but that doesn't mean it's easy to deal with. Not only can it be frustrating being woken again and again by a restless child, but the thought of your kids roaming around in the night can be a source of worry for many parents. Sleepwalking rarely needs medical attention, but we've got the experts' verdict to find out everything you need to know if you have a child who sleepwalks.

What is sleepwalking?

Just as the name suggests, sleepwalking is when a person is walking or doing other complex tasks when they're not fully awake. Dr Chris Idzikowski, director of the Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service, explains, "Sleepwalking is a general term that involves doing things - like walking and eating - in our sleep. Sleepwalkers aren't aware of what they are doing."

The NHS explains that sleepwalking normally happens during periods of deep sleep, which peaks during the early part of the night - so sleepwalking tends to happen in the first few hours after falling asleep. The person sleepwalking may simply sit up in bed and look around, while others may get up and walk about, or they might even get dressed or eat something.

NHS GP and Time4Sleep sleep expert Dr Hana Patel adds, "Sleepwalking can start at any age, but is more common in children. Although most grow out of it by the time they reach puberty, it can sometimes persist into adulthood."

What causes sleepwalking?

Dr Hana Patel explains that there are lots of factors that can trigger sleepwalking, including not getting enough sleep, stress and anxiety, infections and fevers.

Dr Chris adds that no one really knows the exact cause of sleepwalking in children specifically, adding, "One theory is that children's brains have not yet learned that it's best not to walk when in sleep mode."

There's also evidence to suggest that sleepwalking is genetic, and therefore it can run in the family. Most children grow out of sleepwalking by the time they reach puberty, but "about 2% of adults continue to sleepwalk," says Dr Chris.

Meanwhile, Dr Hana says, “Other sleep disorders that can cause you to frequently wake up suddenly during the night, such as obstructive sleep apnoea and restless legs syndrome, can also trigger a sleepwalking episode. Making sure you get enough sleep, and working on strategies to deal with and reduce stress will often help reduce the likelihood of sleepwalking."

Other factors that can trigger sleepwalking:

• Stress
• Being upset
• Sleep deprivation
• Certain types of medication
• Being startled during deep sleep by a sudden noise or touch

Should I be concerned about my child sleepwalking?

Occasional sleepwalking episodes are very common in children, and nothing to worry about. Most sleepwalking episodes won't last more than 10 minutes.

However, there are circumstances when sleepwalking people might put themselves or other in danger without realising it, says Dr Chris. Stairs, sharp objects or opening the front door and walking into the road are all dangers for a sleepwalker.

However, you should not shout, startle or try to physically restrain someone who is sleepwalking unless they're in danger, as they may lash out. Instead, Dr Chris explains, "It's safer to tell them to go back to bed. People who are sleepwalking are in deep sleep, so waking them causes a temporary condition called 'sleep drunkenness', where people are disorientated. In children it may cause distress."

Guide them back to bed and, if they do wake up, reassure them that everything is ok.

What to do if your child sleepwalks

To keep your child safe, make sure windows and doors are locked and keep sharp objects out of reach. You could also install safety gates outside your child's room and/or at the top of any stairs.

If you see your child sleepwalking, Dr Hana Patel explains that they will often go back to sleep again if undisturbed, but you could gently guide them back to bed by reassuring them.

She adds, "If your child sleepwalks at the same time most nights, try gently waking them for a short time around 15 to 30 minutes before they would normally sleepwalk – this may stop them sleepwalking by altering their normal sleep cycle."

When to see a doctor

In most cases, sleepwalking isn't serious and doesn't need the help of a professional. However, if your child is sleepwalking frequently, becoming violent or harming themselves or others, then it's a good idea to speak to your GP or a sleep specialist.

Dr Hana advises, "Consider seeing a GP if sleepwalking happens frequently, you're concerned a person may be at risk of injuring themselves or others, or the episodes continue or start in adulthood.

"The GP may refer you to a specialist sleep centre, where your sleep history can be discussed in more detail. There's no specific treatment for sleepwalking, but it generally helps to try to get enough sleep and have a regular and relaxing routine before bedtime."

However, she adds that sleepwalking is rarely a sign of anything serious and may get better with time, particularly in children.

For more sleep-related advice, we've delved into the reasons why you keep waking up early and shared expert advice for recovering from a bad night's sleep. You might also want to check out these foods for sleep, and we've rounded up the best ways to get rid of dark circles under eyes too.

You might be tempted to tease your little one about their new best friend, but it could actually harm their development.

For most parents, wondering whether their child might have a boyfriend or a girlfriend won't cross their mind until their teenager has started dating - by which point they may already have had conversations around the most important things to talk to teens about before they start dating.

But, in reality, it's not uncommon for very young children to forge close connections with kids of the opposite gender, because small children often find it easy to make friends with both boys and girls. Psychologists think this is because toddlers don’t really notice gender differences or begin to identify with gender stereotypes until they get a little older.

Having friends of both genders is important for the child development stages - it benefits kids' personal and social development because it can protect them from the effects of gender stereotypes. But when parents tease their children about having a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’, this can make them self-conscious and stop them from socialising with children of the opposite gender.

Alicia Eaton, a Harley-Street based psychotherapist, clinical hypnotherapist and best-selling author, explains, "It can feel tempting to crack a bit of joke when your child or teen acquires their first boyfriend or girlfriend, but it’s important for parents to be sensitive to their feelings and experiences."

She adds that teasing could make your child feel judged, and make them lose confidence in their ability to make decisions about a partner in future. Alicia adds, "Remember that they’re still developing emotionally, and teasing can add stress to an already complex period of psychological development. Without your positive support and guidance they can start to lose confidence in themselves and question their ability to make decisions about suitable partners. Your child is more likely to share their experiences and feelings if they know they won’t be judged - and that’s a more healthy place to be in."

Meanwhile, parenting expert Kirsty Ketley warns that teasing your child about having a boyfriend or girlfriend could lead them to steer clear of the opposite sex, because they feel embarrassed about having a friendship with someone who isn't the same as them.

Kirsty adds, "This can be damaging to blossoming friendships and make children feel that they can't be friends with the opposite sex. Other friendships, regardless of gender, may also be affected by the teasing, making children think that they shouldn’t be friends with anyone who is not like them."

Just like Alicia, Kirsty warns that this could affect them later down the line too. "As children grow, if boys have only been taught to see girls as a way of sexual gratification, how will they treat future partners? And how will girls think they should be treated by men? That can be really damaging, especially in a world where women are continually having to fight for equality and respect."

And remember, when your child gets older they will start to date, and you want to make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about things that are happening in their relationship.

Throughout their teenage years, many girls start to lose self-confidence.

Sadly, they might lack body confidence or think other girls are smarter prettier or cooler. They may feel unsafe around others or think that their tastes or opinions aren't worth as many other people's.

But while you might expect that girls would start to lose self-confidence in their mid-teens, a new study has found that it could start earlier than that. An American study has revealed that girls start to lose their self-confidence from as young as 12 years old.

The research, carried out for a new book The Confidence Code for Girls, found that from the age of 12 girls’ confidence and self-esteem levels start to drop. To come to their findings, study leaders looked at 1,300 girls aged between eight and 18. They asked each girl to rate their confidence on a scale of 1-10. They found that girls under the age of 12 displayed more self-confidence, stating that they made friends easily and didn’t care about what others thought of them.

However, from the ages of eight to 14 the girls’ responses fell, on average, from approximately 8.5 out of 10 to 6 out of 10. This shocking 30 percent drop illustrated how the girls’ self-esteem took a major drop as soon as they started going through puberty. They also found that girls were rewarded more by their teachers and parents when they exhibited people-pleasing behaviour.

Study authors suggested that this indicates that the girls are growing up believing that it is more appropriate for them to stay quiet, follow other people’s instructions, and not speak about their own opinions. They suggested that this leads girls to set unattainable standards for themselves as they progress through their teenage years and prompts a drop in their self-confidence.

As well as not being encouraged to speak their opinion, another reason for young girls’ drop in self-confidence when they go through puberty could be the rise of social media and the presence of unattainable standards following them around in their pockets, through the likes of Instagram and Snapchat.

It will always be difficult to prevent girls from feeling insecure, but by encouraging 'tween' girls to speak their opinions and believe in themselves, we could lead to more confident and independent girls in the future. Girls run the world!