Wholegrain pain!

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  • If I see one more portion of brown rice I shall scream. Having had such a fright when I discovered my furry arteries, I’ve gone from one extreme diet to another.

    Since February 27th (yes I’m counting) I haven’t eaten a single biscuit, cake or chocolate. I’ve had no butter or cheese, not so much as a whiff of Friday night fish and chips and as for Chicken Tikka Masala, forget it. So what have I been having instead? Well breakfast could be porridge with honey or Bran Flakes. Lunch is often grilled chicken with brown rice. ARGH! The dreaded brown rice. It fills you up but I have to say it’s not my favourite thing. For dinner I’ve had a lot of soup and dark brown bread that’s so unlike fluffy white bread it should be called an organic brick. There is a slight problem in that I don’t like vegetables but I have been knocking back the fruit. Be warned, some of that stuff works like gunpowder. I recommend a combination of pineapple, plums and clementines for a natural form of colonic irrigation. I must have the cleanest colon in the south east! Anyway, enough of bowels. I can’t say I’m missing the sweet stuff I used to eat so much of, although I have craved toast and crunchy peanut butter for breakfast and heaven only knows how I’ll manage this weekend when the kids are tucking into their easter eggs. They’ve got a Lindt bunny each .. I can almost smell it! Seriously though, I don’t know how long I can eat such a restricted diet without getting incredibly bored. If any of you are eating a ‘healthy heart’ diet can you drop me a line and give me some tips? After the Bank Holiday weekend, I’m thinking of seeing a dietician who can tell me exactly what I should be eating to stop my arteries getting any furrier. If the first thing he mentions is brown rice I won’t be responsible for my actions!
    Have a happy Easter!