‘I did not like my children’ This mum’s letter about postpartum depression is a must read

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  • Tiffany Jenkins took to Facebook to share an open letter explaining her battle with postpartum depression and why it's important for mothers to seek help if they are struggling.

    After the initial flurry of excitement and nerves when your baby arrives, it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and daunted by the prospect of being a mum.

    For some mums, this feeling doesn’t pass as quickly and around one in 10 women suffer from postpartum depression.

    Many women never seek help for their depression and so the number of sufferers could be much higher.

    It is for this reason that this mum’s post about postpartum depression is an important read for all.

    Tiffany Jenkins is a mum-of-two and blogger and shared a heartbreakingly honest post about her battle and why women shouldn’t be afraid to speak up if they are struggling.

    Posting a picture that was taken shortly after the birth of her second child, Tiffany explained: ‘I did not like my children when this photo was taken.

    ‘I actually resented them for existing. Kaiden was 17 months old and Chloe 1 month, and I didn’t want to be their mother, I didn’t want to change their diapers, feed them, and most of the time – I wanted to leave them in their cribs and run out the door, never to return.’

    Although Tiffany is writing in a light-hearted tone, she reiterates that her feelings of resentment were real and true.

    She continued: ‘I’m serious. I know that some of your jaws are hanging open, and some of you are probably disgusted thinking, “how the hell can someone dislike their own children?”. I know, its effed up, which is why it took me so long to tell anybody about it.

    ‘I remained silent and buried my thoughts. I smiled for photos and mustered false admiration when someone would fawn over them.

    ‘I cried often, most of the day actually. I questioned my sanity and constantly berated myself for being such a shitty person. I screamed, I hid, I let them cry and pulled my hair out. I didn’t want them anymore. I didn’t want them.’

    Tiffany goes on to explain that she didn’t share these feelings with her husband who was working away a lot and didn’t want him to start regretting starting a family with her.

    woman stressed with baby

    One day Tiffany hit breaking point and she recalls it with heart-wrenching honesty. She explained: ‘One day I decided I wasn’t going to get them out of their cribs. I was going to leave them there, let them cry and soil themselves. I didnt care. I couldnt care. I tried to care. I COULDN’T care.

    ‘Instead I called my doctors office. The moment my favourite receptionist answered I broke down in tears. I told her I didn’t want to be a mom anymore and she told me to “Come in IMMEDIATELY”. I did. The doctor spoke to me about Postpartum Depression as if he’d had this conversation thousands of times.’

    Much to Tiffany’s surprise, the doctor had had the conversation thousands of times because it’s normal for women to find becoming a mother overwhelming.

    Tiffany’s posts are usually very upbeat but her post about postpartum depression is an important reminder that all mums struggle 

    Tiffany’s post finished on a high and she revealed that she was able to overcome postpartum depression and other mums can too.

    She said: ‘My doctor and I fixed it together. My kids are 2 & 3 now, and I love and adore them so much that my heart physically aches when I think of them. I would give my life for them without blinking.

    ‘Reaching out for help was the greatest gift I have ever given them as a mother.  If any of this sounds familiar to you, I just wanted you to know — you aren’t alone. You aren’t crazy — and you need to tell someone.’

    If you or someone you know has bene affected by the themes in this story you should contact your GP for advice.