‘Don’t plan to stay and eat’: Two midwives have written a note full of advice for new parents and their families

  • We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
  • Those first few weeks after your baby is born are filled with joy, but also with confusion. What am I doing? Am I doing this right? Will my baby ever stop crying?

    And if you thought it was perplexing for the parents, what about the friends and relatives who arrive at the front door not knowing quite what to expect?

    Luckily, a couple of midwives in America have written a detailed note telling visitors exactly how to conduct themselves whilst the family are settling into a ‘new version of normal’.

    The note, which the pair pinned to the lucky mother’s front door, lists helpful tips for those coming to visit.

    ‘Bring your love and good wishes but leave the details of the real world at the door (leave the germs out too!).’

    As well as reminding people that washed hands are non-negotiable, it also gives a clear time limit that all visitors should stick to; ‘Limit visits to fifteen minutes, even family and friends can take valuable energy that the new parents need, if you are here to help, limit idle conversation and let mum rest’.

    They explain that you should greet siblings first and ask them to show you the baby. Then if possible, keep them busy, perhaps with a trip to the park or just in another room.

    Most importantly make dinner plans elsewhere; ‘Bring food for the family (but don’t plan to stay and eat).’

    Image: Imgur

    The American mother shared the helpful note on Imgur and has since received hundreds of messages of support.

    One commenter said: ‘This would have been helpful in explaining to my father-in-law that we didn’t want them following us home from the hospital and staying a few hours’.

    Another was going to use the note for her birth; ‘I love this, totally stealing it, I feel like we definitely have some family members who will think they’re being helpful by “holding the baby” and overstaying their welcome.’

    Whilst one reader revealed a slightly less conventional piece of advice: ‘Our midwife said that we need black hefty bags or the garbage man might report a crime scene!’

    What advice would you give to family and friends about how to behave in this ‘unique time’? Leave a comment below and let us know!