'I feel deeply lonely' Mum blogger opens up about the reality of having an autistic child
'We get so caught up in advocating for our children that we suppress the feelings of loneliness and isolation that are sometimes a side-effect to our existence.'
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- (opens in new tab)
- Sign up to our newsletter Newsletter

A mum blogger with an autistic child has posted a heartfelt account of her difficulties in forging relationships with other mums.
Angela Ashton Smith, who writes blog Driving The Struggle Bus (opens in new tab), is mum to a little girl called Piper, who is on the autism spectrum (opens in new tab).
Her blog deals with all the little ways in which being a parent to a child with special needs is a different kind of experience to parenting a 'normal' child.
In a recent post, titled 'Outside, looking in', Angela has opened up about how she sometimes feels isolated and lonely by her circumstances, as she isn't able to experience every day things in quite the same way as other parents.
'Tonight should have been a victory to be celebrated, and in many ways, it was. My husband and I had the privilege of accompanying Piper to Kindergarten orientation,' the mum begins.
'A year and a half ago, our daughter was lost, borderline non-verbal, and often aggressive. Her future was very uncertain.
'The mere fact that in just eighteen months, she has graduated from the full-time autism classroom and is about to enter kindergarten is nothing short of miraculous.
'Yet, in this moment, I feel deeply lonely.'
Although she was welcomed warmly by the other mums and Piper enjoyed meeting her new teachers and classmates, Angela mourned the loss of Piper's earliest experiences with these girls, who had all attended pre-school together whilst Piper was at special needs classes.
The other mums had all formed friendships too, leaving both Angela and Piper on the 'Outside, looking in'.
'One of the moms mentioned that she wished she'd have snapped a photo of the girls walking out of the school, hand-in-hand. I smiled, for it was a beautiful mental image, but at the same time, my heart dropped and I felt like an outsider all over again.
'As a rule, I don't speak negatively about my daughter having autism. But tonight, I have to wonder, if autism wasn't our reality, would Piper have been included in that sweet moment?'
She goes on to stress that '[t]hese are wonderful mothers who have offered me support time and time again when I've needed it.
'My emotions are my own, and they did nothing wrong. I said it myself, earlier- as a group, I don't know them particularly well. Would we be part of that close group, though, if things were different?'
Angela ended her post by acknowledging her struggle wasn't unique, and readers of her blog have been quick to show their support, thanking her for her honesty.
One mum wrote, 'I feel exactly the same way!! I have a 6 year old son who is on the spectrum. He was in an awesome pre-school class at another school and when we realised that this school didn't have the program we needed for him for kindergarten and that we would have to move to a less desirable school, I cried.'
'Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Thank you for sharing your story.'
'Glad you recognise that which brews inside of you; that you can identify it. Taking care of yourself is an ever-so-important part of raising all our kids,' said another.
Trusted, informative, and empathetic – GoodTo is the ultimate online destination for mums. Established in 2007, our 15-year-strong archive of content includes more than 18,000 articles, 1,500 how-to videos, and 7,000 recipes.
-
-
Why have Flybe cancelled all flights? What to do if you're affected by the Flybe collapse
Flybe has gone bust - here's what we know about why Flybe have cancelled all flights.
By Charlie Elizabeth Culverhouse • Published
-
Prince Harry announces first public appearance since Spare release
The event has a star studded line up
By Charlie Elizabeth Culverhouse • Published
-
How to turn your iPhone into a white noise machine for babies
Find out how to turn your iPhone into a white noise machine for babies, thanks to this new Apple feature
By Ellie Hutchings • Published
-
Biggest baby name regrets reveal important 'lesson' parents need to follow
A list of the top ten most commonly changed baby names in the US have been published and the results might surprise you
By Emma Dooney • Published
-
Talking about school shootings with your kids - tips from the experts
By Stephanie Lowe • Last updated
-
Who pays for maternity leave – the government or your employer?
Taking time off work to have a baby can work out expensive, find out who pays for maternity leave with our guide.
By Rachel Lacey • Last updated
-
How to talk to kids about coming out as gay, lesbian or bisexual
Want to start conversations with your kids about coming out as gay, lesbian or bisexual? These are The Proud Trust's top tips to get started
By Grace Walsh • Last updated
-
How much maternity pay will I receive and how long for?
How much maternity pay you get can make a big difference to your lifestyle while you’re on leave. Find out everything you need to know before your baby arrives with our guide.
By Rachel Lacey • Last updated
-
Becoming mum: This Mother's Day 14 mums share what they like about themselves after kids
Becoming a mum means you lose so much of yourself, your life, your career. We spoke with 12 mums to discover what they gained...
By Stephanie Lowe • Last updated
-
How to educate kids on gender equality this International Women's Day
By Stephanie Lowe • Last updated