‘I know I’m morally wrong but…’ Woman asks if it’s okay to lie to get free IVF on the NHS

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  • A woman has taken to popular parenting site Mumsnet to ask if it’s ever okay to lie to get IVF for free on the NHS.

    Posting under the name LittleMissNew, the anonymous woman explained that she and her partner have been trying and failing to have a baby naturally.

    Her partner’s child, who is nine-years-old, lives with them full time and as such has created a moral dilemma over whether thy qualify for free IVF on the NHS.

    Starting her thread she wrote: ‘I started going to the doctors saying we have been [trying to conceive] for over a year she asked if we had any previous children living with us.

    ‘I said no and she said good because otherwise you cant have IVF on the NHS if you do.’

    The woman was left baffled by this, and when she questioned the doctor further found out that if her partner has his child living with them then she can effectively ‘play parent to that child’ so therefore wouldn’t be eligible.

    ‘I know morally I’m being wrong but I desperately want a baby and we can’t afford IVF.’

    ‘For the Dr to say that I can play parent to his DC [darling child] couldn’t be further from the truth, I have no say in what she does or doesn’t do and she doesn’t treat me like a step mum.’

    Adding that the child’s school and doctor’s address are still registered with her mum and there is nothing in writing to say she lives with them she continued: ‘Don’t get me wrong we rub along just fine but… I can’t hope to be any sort of mum figure to her for the foreseeable at least.’

    ‘I just think it’s unfair that I’m being penalised for something that is out of my control.’

    The honest and candid post struck a chord with online readers, and quickly had over 260 replies within one day of posting to the popular parenting site – but there was an overwhelming response of mums slamming her for even considering lying to get IVF.

    One reasoned: ‘You could get into serious trouble if anyone found out,’ whilst another commented: ‘Yes. You’re bumping someone else off the bottom of the list by lying. Try to have a little empathy.’

    However, not all of the feedback was negative: ‘What a stupid rule! Do it. What would they do if you were unlucky enough to get caught? Best of luck to you,’ encouraged another user.

    ‘Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you,’ another agreed. ‘Sometimes forgetting to update your doctor on the change of circumstances is ok. Sometimes your happiness comes first ‘

    What do you think? Let us know in the comments box below.

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