Mum left ‘furious’ after her ex gets their kids to buy his new partner ‘mum’ birthday cards

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  • A mum has vented her anger over her ex-husband getting their children to buy his new partner a 'mum' birthday card.

    Expressing her frustration on parenting forum Mumsnet, the user explained that she felt ‘really hurt’ when she discovered what he had done, admitting she finds the gesture ‘inappropriate’.

    She said: ‘I’ve just discovered my exH has got our kids to buy his new partner ‘mum’ birthday cards. His excuse was there was no Step Mum cards. Although I don’t consider that she has that role in their lives either. She doesn’t do anything for them to have earned that title.’

    The mum then explained that she was not merely upset because it is her ex-husband, admitting she would feel uneasy if the tables were turned and her new partner’s children bought her a ‘mum’ birthday card too.

    She added: ‘If my DP [darling partner] bought me a mum card from his kids I would tell how inappropriate that is. They have a mum and it’s not me. I love them and consider us all to be family but I’m not their mum.

    ‘(Am I being unreasonable) to be furious about this and feel really hurt?’

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    Many other parents were in agreement that the ex-husband should have known the upset he would cause; with some even suggesting he did it on purpose to upset his former wife.

    One said: ‘Yeh this is inappropriate, especially if it’s not a very long term relationship. Might well upset the children too. Not ok.’

    Another added: ‘YANBU [You are not being unreasonable] to be hurt but is it in your best interests to let your Ex know you’re upset and hurt by this or would it simply be a point he’s gained on his tally chart of s***?’

    A third joked: ‘Remind him it’s Father’s Day soon and you will be buying dp [darling partner] cards from your dc [darling children].’

    While some suggested letting the incident go so there is no animosity to upset their children.

    One parent suggested: ‘This is the kind of thing that either he did because it was nice for DP and DC and he genuinely didn’t realise how upsetting it would be (or didn’t think you’d find out) or he did deliberately to upset you.

    ‘Either way you have to let it go. Nothing to be gained from making a fuss, more likely just to upset DC.’

    What do you think? What would you do in this situation? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below.