‘I need you’ Mum’s honest open letter to her husband goes viral

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  • Celeste Erlach has been struggling since become a mum-of-two and her open letter to her husband struck a chord with thousands of mums who feel the same.

    Any relationship is challenged when you decide to introduce children to the equation.

    While you might still love and adore your partner, the one, two or more little humans who now require every minute of your attention are likely to have changed your priorities and routines.

    If you’re the primary carer for the children it can feel particularly overwhelming, and at those times it’s a good idea to be honest with your partner and explain how you’re feeling.

    Celeste Erlach did just that and shared her open letter on Facebook where thousands of women have reached out and praised her, stressing that they feel the same way too.

    Writing in the Facebook group Breastfeeding Mama Talk Celeste begins her post: ‘Dear Husband, I. Need. More. Help.’

    The mum-of-two explains how she had asked her husband to look after their baby while she got an early night and caught up on her sleep. After around 20 minutes her husband came upstairs and put the baby, who was still wailing, in the bassinet and pushed it towards her in a ‘a clear gesture that [he was] done watching him.’

    Celeste vented: ‘I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

    ‘Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?’

    The post goes on to recall other occasions where Celeste feels her husband should and can do more to help her. Like allowing her to rest a little more on the weekend, to help get their toddler ready in the morning and to allow her time to decompress in the evenings.

    She finished the post by saying: ‘I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom.

    ‘But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

    ‘Because, let’s face it: you need me, too.’

    The post has received over 9,000 interactions and more than 1,000 comments.

    One person wrote: ‘So many mothers, myself included feel like this. I wish it wasn’t true and we truly could be wonderwomen but it is. We need help. We need community. Especially when the father won’t step up.’

    dad looking after baby mum sleep

    Another said: ‘I wish more women would throw up the white flag and ask for help! Sometimes after listening to the baby cry for 3hrs while teething it is a much needed break when somebody else takes her.’

    Others stressed that not all dads are like this and that in most cases, if you ask for help they’ll jump at the opportunity.

    One person wrote: ‘I have to say that if I feel overwhelmed and need help, I ask. My husband also does household chores and parenting without asking. But if I feel like I can’t keep up with what we need done, I say so. And he happily helps out even more.’

    Some women tagged their partners in the post to thank them and others tagged them to give them a not so subtle hint!

    What do you think of the post? Is it  refreshing read or should the mum have spoken to her husband privately? Let us know your thoughts by joining the conversation over on our Facebook page!