Survey reveals where the pushiest mums in the UK live – but are you one of them?

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  • A new survey has revealed where the pushiest mums in UK live, and you might be surprised by the results.

    The nationwide study was conducted to celebrate the release of the film I, Tonya on DVD, which tells the story of the infamous skating champion Tonya Harding and her notoriously pushy mother.

    The research, which also identified the signs that you are a competitive mum, revealed that Cardiff is the city in the UK where the majority of pushy mums live.

    According to the 1,500 mums polled, a staggering 87 per cent live in the Welsh capital, where mothers who go out of their way to push their children and make other parents feel bad.

    Sheffield follows in second place, and Norwich and Belfast come in as joint number three. Also in the top ten are Brighton, Glasgow, Liverpool, London, Edinburgh and Birmingham.

    Do you make your child sign up to every club or sports activity going?

    When it comes to signs you’re a pushy mum, the research found that being prepared to spend any amount of money for their child’s birthday party and making your child sign up to too many activities are two of the main traits.

    These are the top 10 signs you’re a competitive mum

    1. You’re prepared to pay any amount of money for your child to have the best birthday party (37 per cent)
    2. You make your child sign up to every club or sports activity going (34 per cent)
    3. Your Facebook feed is full of images of your child’s achievements (31 per cent)
    4. You upload a picture of the children’s pile of birthday presents to Facebook (27 per cent)
    5. You pay your children for good grades and sporting achievements (25 per cent)
    6. You do your children’s homework for them (24 per cent)
    7. You are fully made up in the playground at all times (23 per cent)
    8. You buy your children the latest tech (24 per cent)
    9. You talk loudly about how little screen time they are allowed (24 per cent)
    10. You send a Christmas round robin listing your children’s achievements (23 per cent)

    Commenting on the findings of the survey, psychologist Honey Langcaster-James said: ‘It’s fascinating to me that so many mums willingly described themselves as pushy or competitive parents, yet, at the same time, they identified a host of competitive traits and behaviours by other mums that winds them up!

    ‘This suggests that not only is there a competitive element involved in the way they relate to their children; they also feel competitive towards each other as peers.’

    The psychologist added: ‘There’s nothing inherently unhealthy about feeling a little competitive as a parent. In fact, it can be quite common, as this survey confirmed. However, parents should always be aware that it can be easy to get carried away and over-focus on achievement just like Tonya Harding’s mother is believed to have done.

    ‘If a parent starts to value their child’s success above their happiness, comfort or wellbeing then they can set their child up for a host of psychological and emotional difficulties later on. They also risk putting excessive strain on their own parent-child relationship. In the worst cases, even if a child does grow up to be successful, they may end up resenting their parent so much that they grow away from their pushy parent altogether.’