After losing her own baby, a mum rushed to another woman’s side to help her through her stillbirth, despite them being total strangers to each other.
Nene Fulcher, a mum of four who lives in Australia, knows all too well how devastating it is to lose a child during pregnancy, which is why she aims to help others going through the same thing on her Facebook page, Remembering Jacob, named after her stillborn son.
She wrote in a post that she would serve ‘as a resource for you should you need it’ for any struggling parent, inviting them to contact her if needed.
Nene was then contacted by Sandra, a woman who was dreading the birth of her baby who had already passed away, saying she felt ‘scared and anxious’ about the delivery.
‘She explained to me that she was nearly 24 weeks pregnant and sitting alone in the hospital, waiting for her stillborn son to come into the world,’ wrote Nene in a post, explaining what happened that night.
‘…She didn’t know who to turn to.’
‘Half an hour later, I was sitting in room 23 at the Gawler hospital. And that’s where I have spent the majority of the last 48 hours.’
Nene rushed to the hospital where Sandra and her husband, Michael, were waiting.
‘What was meant to be a visit to answer any questions she may have and offer any reassurance she may need in her ability to deliver him, turned into a quickly formed friendship and me witnessing the birth of an angel,’ wrote Nene.
‘I think having someone there who knows exactly what’s coming was what she needed from me, and as weird as it sounds I was quite excited to think that I would be able to use my bad experience to guide someone through theirs.
Nene did have her doubts about putting herself close to a similar situation that had left her so devastated.
‘I’m not going to lie…. I was shitting my pants. I was nervous, anxious and wondered if being in there was going to dig up memories I’d subconsciously buried.
‘That wasn’t the case. Don’t get me wrong… I cried. But I wasn’t crying for myself or Jacob… I was crying for Sandra and Michael and their precious baby.’
She advised the couple to make the most of their time with baby Vincent, the couple’s stillborn son.
‘The biggest advice I had for her was to collect as many memories as possible. Use every opportunity to preserve his memory as it will bring the most comfort when the bad days outnumber the good.’
Nene also opened up about a struggle she’s been facing with her perspective of her own stillborn son’s existence.
‘One of the hardest things I’ve battled with personally is pinpointing a “reason” for Jacobs existence. Creating his meaning of life has been my priority.
‘I guess in a way I feel like I need to justify my intense grief for him. Why is he so special?
‘This is why.’
If it hadn’t been for Sandra, Nene would not have been able to see her own tragedy in this new light.
‘Who would have answered Sandra’s intimate questions and put her mind at ease if Jacob didn’t die?
‘Perhaps raising money for an organisation wasn’t meant to be Jacob’s legacy after all. Maybe this was it. Maybe it can be again.’
Nene has no doubts about the experience.
‘Would I do it again for another complete stranger? Yes. Was it difficult for me.. Yes! BUT little Vincent has probably changed my life for the better.
‘Sandra, your son has been on this earth for barely a day and he’s already altered the direction of my life. I hope that brings you comfort.
‘THANKYOU for letting me be there to witness the birth of an angel from a different position. You’ve helped me and you’ve given me renewed strength to help others.’
Since the emotional birth story was shared, Nene’s page has seen a lot of likes, shares, comments and personal stories being posted, with the mum replying to every one of them.
‘I needed someone like you when my baby boy was born. You are one special woman xx’ wrote one follower.
‘I’m so sorry you felt alone. And I’m so very sorry you couldn’t bring your precious boy home xx’ replied Nene, who then offered to speak to the woman about her lost baby.
‘I’ve spoken to a lot of women since writing about Jacob’s birth story,’ Nene told the Daily Mail Australia.
‘But this was the first mum that I have physically been to see. The first birth I’ve been at that wasn’t my own. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.’
We reached out to Sandra to hear her thoughts on her experience: ‘I want other parents to know there are options and help. That they aren’t alone’, she told us.
‘Having Nene there was so good. I was able to draw strength from her. I knew by looking at her that no matter the pain I was in I would be able to go on.
‘I’d learn to cope and be able to function for Michael and our daughter.
The best advice I got from Nene was to acknowledge and remember Vincent. She made me feel hopeful I think.’
Sandra also bravely opened up about how she and her family have been doing since their loss.
‘The past week has been incredibly hard. We have our ups and downs but having our daughter has helped keep us grounded. She is a huge part of what has gotten us through.’
She also has an inspiring message for others experiencing anything similar.
‘I have a message for people going through and family members of people going through this. Ask for help, accept when offered. Talk about your baby. I am always happy to hear from people who need help advice or anything.’