The 8 trials and tribulations of living with a snorer

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  • If you live life alongside a regular snorer then, ladies, we salute you.

    As if getting enough sleep (and good sleep at that) wasn’t difficult enough, your darling partner, the love of your life, has to go and throw a pneumatic drill and a whole load of subsequent elbowing and arguing into the mix.

    There are many differing types of snoring offender but the problems remain the same, resulting in us being bleary-eyed, sleep-deprived and a little bit mad about the whole thing.

    Are you living with a sleep-stealing culprit in your home? We’re here for you…

    1. They make your pet seem like an appealing bed buddy

    Ever considered swapping your partner for the family dog or cat during a particularly loud snoring session? You’re not alone. A simple swap could mean a peaceful night’s rest for you while he’s far, far away sleeping sweetly in the dog’s basket…

    2. They make you doubt the person who invented the earplug

    There’s only so much noise those little foam things will stop, and the pneumatic drill sound that’s going off next to your head isn’t one of them. You find yourself trawling the pharmacy for every single type of earplug available and you’ve even tried trawling snoring support groups for fellow sufferers’ tips.

    3. They sleep like a baby

    Probably one of the most soul-crushing things about sleeping next to a snorer has to be that they will sleep on, blissfully unaware of the racket they’re making because they’re likely to be a heavy sleeper too. You, on the other hand, can get to know the ceiling of your bedroom as you lay awake in a fit of sleeplessness.

    4. They accuse you of acting crazy

    They complain if you go and sleep in another room. Look put out if you yawn constantly. Moan if you wake them up. Why don’t you try being so completely sleep-deprived night after night because of all the snoring and then try and act like a normal person the next day?

    5. They force you into ridiculous bedtime rituals

    Gone is the time when you could just go to bed whenever you fancied. Now you know that if you’re not asleep before his head hits the pillow, then you can kiss goodbye any hope of a good night’s sleep.

    6. They don’t have just one snore

    Heavy breathing that’s not quite a snore but enough to make you want to scream. Sudden sharp bursts of snoring that scare the life out of you. Gradual increasing in volume snores that started off as manageable and slowly end up at ear-splitting at the same point your head explodes. Choked snores that sound as though they might actually be dying and you have to check their pulse.

    7. They don’t understand the necessary measures to stop the snoring

    A little kick here, a small jab there, when you’re being kept awake at an ungodly hour because of room-rattling snores there’s not much you wouldn’t try to make it stop. And the next day you’re met with accusatory stares and grumpy comments about what all the fuss was about…

    8. They moan about being tired the next day while you want to slowly strangle something

    Just when you thought a loud snoring bed buddy was the worst thing you’d have to deal with, the culprit then dares to have the audacity to complain about being tired the next day. Take a deep breath. And slowly back away.