Sexplanations: ‘I want sex to be romantic again’

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  • Every week we partner with our sister magazine, Woman, to bring you expert sexual health advice from Christine Webber, a qualified psychotherapist with her own Harley Street practice.

    The problem

    My husband and I love each other very much. We’ve been together for 15 years and have two children. We adore sex, and I always climax, but I long for a bit of romance. Nowadays, he just grabs me and we do it. I’d like it to be more loving and gentle. What can I do?

    The solution

    Tell him that you miss the romance of your early years and you’d like to get it back. If you imply that you’re both responsible for sex becoming routine, it won’t sound like a criticism of him. And hopefully he’ll be as keen as you to change things.

    When you met, I imagine you took your time pleasuring each other, with lots of kissing and caressing, and probably got really turned on and had orgasms through love play.

    Now, after years of married life, your husband knows exactly how to make you come. And because you’re busy and have children, I guess it’s been easier just to do what works. It’s good that you’ve decided to sort this out before it causes serious difficulties. So, how can you improve things? Well, try doing lots more kissing. It’s lovely. It’s exciting. And it’s very personal and intimate.

    Also, I suggest that you turn the clock back and build some old-fashioned dates into your busy schedule. You could go and see a romantic film and snog in the back row. Or you could take a drive, put on some music that you both like and get friendly in the car together.

    With a bit of organisation, you could have a date once a week, and bring the passion and romance back to your marriage. Good luck!

    Read more sex advice from Christine Webber

    – There’s more advice from Christine in this week’s bigger better WOMAN, on sale every Tuesday.

    – Is your relationship in need of some sexual healing? Email your problem to Christine on or to us on goodtoknow