‘Morris the monkey did a pee pee!’

  • We earn a commission for products purchased through some links in this article.
  • Amy Condon is a mum to 3 kids, who are all under 3! Yes, you heard us right. Each week she tells us all about the ups and downs of bringing up 3 children so close in age. This week Amy talks about the funny and imaginitive games her children come up with to keep themselves entertained…

    ‘While I get the girls ready for their nightly bath, there’s always a fair deal of hysteria. Everyone’s getting tired and giddy, and the anticipation of Daddy’s imminent arrival always adds to the manic atmosphere. Tonight, however, I was in the bedroom sorting out towels when I suddenly realised it had gone quiet. Very, very quiet.

    Now, as any parent of small children knows, although quiet is what you crave more than anything, it is never, ever a good sign. Had clumsy G fallen and hit her head? Was curious T trapped in a cupboard? Had M been abducted by aliens? My heart skipped a beat as I rushed into the bathroom…to find all 3 girls watching in awed silence as Morris the stuffed monkey – carefully positioned on the princess toilet seat, loo roll by his side – ‘did a pee pee’. Once he was done, T gently removed him, explaining to an enthralled M as she did so that Morris ‘pees from his tail as he’s a boy’, before G stepped forward to replace him with an expectant Mickey Mouse.

    The whole scene, as well as still making me laugh hours later, made me a little jealous. Remember when simple bodily functions (especially when performed by inanimate objects) could hold you utterly rapt in wonder? No, me neither. It’s a kids’ thing.

    It seems even our recent tummy bug was play material in the making. The other day, the twins managed to spend a good 20 minutes thoroughly immersed in a game which appeared to be entirely composed of asking Mickey and Minnie if they ‘had been sicked on’ and if they had ‘sicked on G’. Asking if things have or haven’t ‘been sicked on’ has been a hot topic round here since we had to throw out a box of MegaBloks thanks to a regurgitated milk incident. I suppose it’s good to know that they’ve seen the fun, albeit weird, side of it.

    It’s not just the unpleasant side of being human that is fascinating the twins just now, though. I often walk into a room to find various stuffed animals dotted around under blankets taking their naps. I made the mistake of sitting down to have a rare coffee the other day, only to endure T’s wrath for ‘sitting in Minnie’s bed’. I withered as she fixed me with her sternest look: ‘Minnie doesn’t want anyone sitting in her bed,’ she warned. ‘She’s very sleepy.’

    As I meekly gave up my comfy cushion to perch on the arm of the sofa, I pondered over whether to admire T’s devotion to her toys, chastise her for caring for a mouse’s comfort over her mother’s, or to push her into a career as a Mafioso enforcer. I decided to opt for the former.

    I love how much my girls care for their teddies and I admire their innocent ability to get lost in a game. G and T take my breath away with the in-depth and involved games they create. Whole castles appear in this house, full of princesses, unicorns, flowers, fairies, cars, supermarkets and space ships. Although M doesn’t understand any of it just yet, she often gets caught up in the fun, toddling ecstatically from room to room after her adored big sisters. And I plan on joining her.

    Will the world really end if the kitchen stays messy for one day? Will one meal of fish fingers instead of homemade risotto make any difference to M’s future health and wellbeing? Will 24 hours without a load of washing really cause my life to crumble round my ears? Of course not. So I’m going to stop. I’m going to stop trying to be a supermum. I’m going to stop trying to climb a cleaning mountain that I’m never going to scale. I’m going to stop being a grown-up, just for a while. I’m going to stop and find out if I can see that castle too. I may even help my old teddy Biggie to the bathroom. Poor thing must be bursting after 30-odd years of neglect…’

    Do you have some funny stories of the games your kids make up? Tell us about your experiences in our comments section below or on Facebook.

    Amy’s other blog posts…