The 15 glaringly obvious ways to spot a child evil genius

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  • We all think our children are the cutest, smartest, funniest and most lovable kids on the planet, and we’re probably right.

    But what if, just what if, we’ve got one of the really special ones. The sneakily smart ones who are tricking us into thinking they’re learning little things every day like spelling and counting rather than big things, like world domination.

    Every now and then there’s an infant, toddler or tween who is most certainly an evil child genius. This is nothing to joke about, their takeover could be any day now so we’ve put together a guide on how to spot the signs early.

    How many of these traits does your child have?

    Trait #1 – Telling fibs

    They’re not sweet little white lies, they’re a way to work out how gullible you are for future master-minded plots. You’ll be their servant before you know it.

    Trait #2 – Terrorising animals

    They’re slowly working on ways to train the animals. They will become their accomplices in time, with the proper training.

    Trait #3 – Drawing on the walls

    It’s a map, a plot and a design to take over the world. NOT innocent doodles as you once may have suspected.

    Trait #4 – They can cry on tap

    Even evil geniuses need to sometimes appear vulnerable at times. It’s all part of the plan.

    Trait #5 – They are reckless

    If you’re going to brainwash a nation, you’re going to have to take some risks. They’re testing and growing their limits all the time.

    Trait #6 – They sometimes say things they shouldn’t

    Every now and then the pressure boils over, and just for a moment you can see into their true plan.

    Trait #7 – Defying you

    They know one day, very soon, they’ll be a mini messiah and quite frankly they don’t need your attitude right now. There are important plans to be made.

    Trait #8 – They have a displaced sense of authority

    Well, wouldn’t you if you knew one day very soon you were going to be the boss of everyone?

    Trait #9 – Being too clever for their own good

    You’ve probably had to develop some pretty sneaky parenting tricks to get them to do what you want. Their IQ, of course, is very high, they won’t fall for those silly over-used tricks.

    Trait #10 – They like playing by themselves

    Plotting a world-wide takeover takes a lot of quiet contemplation you know.

    Trait #11 – You sometimes catch them pulling odd expressions of glee

    You might think these are inexplicable. They’re not, they make those faces when they’ve come up with a particularly dastardly plan.

    Trait #12 -Playing ‘rough’

    They’re actually slowly trying to weaken their opposition.

    Trait #13 – Exaggerating

    They’re not actually blowing things out of proportion, you just can’t know about all the hours they’ve been putting into their evil plan.

    Trait #14 – Randomly quoting film ‘baddies’

    They need to find the perfect catchphrase for when they make their big break.

    Trait #15 – When they tell you they want to rule the world

    They’re not joking, and it probably will happen.

    So, there you have it. Take this as good warning and if you ignore the signs don’t say we didn’t try and warn you…