Struggling with a child who won’t listen? A parent coach reveals exactly what to say when giving an instruction

Try this hack to stick to your boundaries, says parent coach

Stressed mother sitting on the sofa while her adhd children run around the living room
(Image credit: Getty)

An experienced parent and relationship coach has shared her tactic for getting kids to do as parents ask. 

You’re bound to be tested as you encounter the child development stages one by one, and Kate Middleton’s discipline cues might not work for all parents who are dealing with a child who won’t listen. 

Parent, trauma and relationship coach – and mother of one – Annaliese Erin (@annalieseerinparentcoach) shared a TikTok to empower parents who might be struggling with uncooperative kids. 

In the video, the expert first re-enacted a common scenario of a parent giving an instruction to a child. 

“‘Get off the table, get off the table now, you’d better get off the table, I’m telling you to get off the table or you are in big trouble. If you don’t get off that table, I’m gonna take your toys away!’. 

“And then the parent starts yelling, but see how the parent is doing nothing, literally just sitting there.

“This is the boundary: ‘Hey, bud, I’m gonna need you to get off that table please. You can either get off or I will get up and get you off.’ 

“Then, you will literally get up and get them off, and then ideally you would make sure that they cannot get back up on the table.”


♬ original sound - Annaliese Erin Parent Coach

In a nutshell, the parenting pro is encouraging parents and caregivers to take a proactive approach when their kid is refusing to do as they ask, instead of using empty threats or shouting as they get more frustrated. 

While some interpreted the video as a helpful hack, some parents were provoked when Annaliese gave an example of “lazy parenting”.

In the video, titled ‘YOU GOTTA MOVE’, Annaliese says: “‘Stop that, stop it, no I said leave me alone, don’t.’ 

“But again you are doing nothing. Actual parenting: ‘Hey, keep your hands to yourself please otherwise I will move. Then move.’”

One user commented: “I hate how you call it ‘lazy’ parenting!” said one commenter. “It is a parent who is exhausted!”

Another added: “I agree with this [video] except the part where you call it lazy parenting. We’re just burnout out and have no village ma’am.”

Another raised a question if you’re preoccupied with something else at the time and commented: “What if your [sic] breastfeeding & can’t move at that moment? And have tried to put him in a high chair or give him toys etc.”

In other parenting news, a family therapist reveals the 5 key phrases not to say to children this Christmas and discover Julia Roberts’ trick for helping her loved ones stay so deeply in love.

Daniella Gray
Family News & Wellbeing Writer

From building healthy family relationships to self-care tips for mums and parenting trends - Daniella also covers postnatal workouts and exercises for kids. After gaining a Print Journalism BA Hons degree and NCTJ Diploma in Journalism at Nottingham Trent University, Daniella started writing for Health & Wellbeing and co-hosted the Walk to Wellbeing podcast. She has also written for Stylist, Natural Health, The Sun UK and Fit & Well. In her free time, Daniella loves to travel, try out new fitness classes and cook for family and friends.