The 9 types of Pokémon Go mum: Which one are you?

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  • It’s official. Pokémon Go is taking over our lives. Since the app launched in the UK, we are officially a nation obsessed.

    But whether you love Pokémon, hate it, or quite frankly don’t have a bloomin’ clue what it even is, here are nine types of Pokémon mum (Pokémums). Have a look at the list below to see which one you are.

    1. The competitive Pokémum (who will stop at nothing until all the Pokémon are hers)

    You’ve been known to get a little competitive. Whether it’s going a bit too over the top at your child’s sports day or nearly causing a family break-up when playing Monopoly, you have to win. And it’s the same when it comes to Pokémon Go. This is something to be taken very seriously. No one can catch as many Pokémon as you. No one – not even your own children. You show them no mercy and hope to teach them that there can only be one true Pokémon master. And that master is you. Even if it means shoving one of your own children out of your way…

    2. The clueless Pokémum

    ‘So what’s this Pokémon Go thing? Where do they go? What’s a Clefairy? Is it a new type of skin cream?’ If this sounds like you, then you are without a doubt the clueless mum. But so what if you’re not entirely up to date on the latest crazes, you’d rather be doing far more fun things than walking round staring at your phone. This whole Pokémon thing will get old soon anyway… right? Right?!

    3. The Pokémum who’s making the most of it

    It’s not so much the game itself you love, but the empty house you get because of it. While dad’s out running through a muddy field with the kids trying to catch a cartoon, you can finally have that moment of calm.

    4. Apart from the time your house is being invaded…

    You really don’t care if there is a rare Pokémon in your bedroom. You just want to sleep.

    5. The smug Pokémum (who’s happy her kids are finally getting some exercise)

    Remember when it was a nightmare to get your kids out of the house because they wanted to stay inside and play on the PS4? Well those days have gone and you’re feeling great. Even if you hate Pokémon or don’t really understand it, thanks to your child’s new favourite game, they’re actually asking to go for a walk. They want to exercise! Ok, so it might be just so they can stare at their phone outside the house rather than on the sofa, but hey… one battle at a time.

    6. The Pokémum who used to have a husband

    Image: Reddit/OwnageCubedYT
    Your kids love Pokémon, but nowhere near as much as your partner. The man is a ghost, making a rare appearance and muttering: ‘There’s a Squirtle nearby. I need the Squirtle.’ And just like that he’s gone again. It’s hard to get a conversation out of him that doesn’t involve his incubated egg or that there’s a Pokémon gym down the road. You miss the days when he just loved golf.

    7. The Pokémum who remembers the original Pokémon (and can’t get over how long ago it was)

    Pokémon Go has brought back all the memories of playing it as a child and it’s making you feel old. While your kids love it, you can’t help reminding them that you were the first Pokémon generation. Trading Pokémon cards in the playing ground (before they got banned) is better than a Smartphone app any day.

    8. The secret Pokémum

    ‘Pokémon is stupid. It’s a waste of time. You’re not really exercising, you’re just staring at your screen.’ Well, at least that’s what you tell people. Secretly, you absolutely love it. What started as simple curiosity at what your kids were playing quickly turned into an obsession. Your partner’s wondering who is luring all these Pokémon to your house. It’s you. You did that. But he can never know.

    9. The Pokémon pushing Pokémum

    Other mums at the school gates, friends you’re having a coffee with… They just don’t understand how good it is! You can catch Pokémon while you’re catching up or drinking a glass of wine – it’s perfect! But when you mention your Pidgey collection, you’re just met with blank stares and awkward silences. Going out looking for Pokémon is always better when you go with someone else. But keep tying. They’ll get it eventually.