Bringing back the intimacy: Little tips to try with your other half

Feel like your relationship could do with a little extra oomph at the moment? Worried the flame is starting to flicker? You don't need expensive holidays and over the top gestures to bring back the intimacy with your man! Read our expert's top tips on things to try today.

Do more exercise
(Image credit: REX)

Worried the flame is starting to flicker? You don't need expensive holidays and over the top gestures to bring back the intimacy with your man! Read our expert's top tips on things to try today.

Take a minute to stop and think. Really think. When was the last time you and your partner were intimate? We're not necessarily talking about sex here (although that certainly counts!) but more about the little things. When did you last hold hands? Kiss goodbye properly in the morning? Really snuggle on the sofa watching TV in the evening?

It's all too easy with the pressures and stresses we face daily to let the little things fall by the wayside. But, as we know, it's the little things that count and can often end up making a big difference in the long run to your relationship.

If you're worried that your hectic schedules are allowing your flame to flicker, or you're not sure how to go about adding a little more oomph into your relationship, we can help. Using findings from a recent survey conducted by Durex Embrace Pleasure Gels, Sex and Relationships Expert Susan Quilliam talks us through her simple everyday tips to bring back the intimacy!

Get fit, feel energetic!

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One huge reason that the spark may die is that you're both simply too exhausted, stressed, or not feeling healthy because of your diet. Try getting more early nights, eat better, try a bit of exercise and focus less on the nightly 'wine o'clock', and the desire will start to return.

Cut back on the commitments

Don't stress

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43% of survey respondents say they work too hard to have time for cuddles and sex. Yes, we all need to work, keep the house tidy, do the school run, sort the shopping... But letting a couple of small things slip in favour of quality time with each other will pay off in the long run. Save half an hour of food shopping by ordering it all online, and spend the half hour you saved with a sofa cuddle!

Simply, touch more

Hold hands

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The majority of surveyed couples report kissing and cuddling between one and seven times a week; at best that's only once a day. Raise that proportion to five times a day and you'll raise your emotional closeness by the same amount, feeling more affectionate and - quite simply - more loving to each other.

Take the initiative

Get hugging

We all want to touch and be touched. But sometimes you don't make the effort even when you both care - in fact, sometimes you both care so much that you don't feel the need to make the effort! So be proactive. Reach out and make contact - kiss hello and goodbye, cuddle as you pass in the hall - and you'll feel closer.

Make real-life contact

Ditch the phone

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More than a quarter of respondents from the survey said that they're more likely to text, email or Facebook their partner than speak face to face. Now we're not saying you need to throw your phone away, but for a true connection you need to see, hear and feel each other. If at all possible, never let a day go by without actually touching.

Focus on each other, not just the screen

Cuddle up

More than a fifth of survey respondents say that they watch television from opposite ends of the sofa, and that figure rises to almost a third if you're between 45 and 54. So bridge that gap, move closer to your partner and curl up together. Those box sets will be even more enjoyable when you're connected!

Treat yourselves to touch


Give each other an indulgent massage once a week. It doesn't have to lead to sex (although it might), but it will remind you both of how good it feels to relax, to be cared for, and to care for each other.

Throw out the jim-jams

Sleep naked!

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One brilliantly simple way to increase your skin intimacy, and get all the wellbeing benefits of increased touch, is to sleep naked whenever you can. It not only makes it more likely that you'll snuggle (or more) as you fall asleep or wake up. It also means that during the night, you're giving each other all the huge wellbeing benefits of skin-on-skin contact.

Be proud of your connection

Touch whenever and wherever you can

Don't just keep touching indoors and in private. Whenever you're out together, proudly reach out. Walk along the street linking arms. Reach our and touch (safely!) when driving. Hold hands in the cinema or across a restaurant table. Touching in public isn't just a sign to each other than you care, it's a sign to the world that you're together!

When stress rises, raise the touch quota

When things get tough, touch

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When things get tough, successful partners touch. So if there's a crisis, a trauma or just a hard day at work, a big, warm comforting hug relaxes, reassured and lets you know you're there for each other. 

Do you have any little tips on how to get intimate with your man? Share them in the comments box below!

Where to next?

- The average Brit has slept with how many people...!?