The 3 biggest 'mistakes' mums make at Christmas, and #2 is totally relatable

Parenting expert shares her tips for avoiding these 3 pitfalls at Christmas

Mum with daughter at Christmas
(Image credit: Getty Images)

Parenting expert shares the three 'mistakes' mums make at Christmas and we must admit, #2 is totally relatable.

Whether you're getting ahead with Christmas shopping, ordering the top Christmas toys in advance, or picking out the best chocolate advent calendars, there's always so much pressure as a parent to get things right. 

Mums already deal with the inevitable mum guilt as they try to navigate work Christmas parties, childcare, and the ever-growing to-do list, particularly in the run-up to the festive season. 

Parenting and Lifestyle expert Hannah Keeley is a mum of seven, and she has used the things she's learned as a life coach, behavioural therapy, and neuroscience to identify the three biggest 'mistakes' mums make at Christmas.

And they will resonate with most mums...

1. Creating unrealistic expectations

"Aside from the time I asked my husband to turn our bathroom into a Hallmark movie and he actually pulled it off, unrealistic expectations around Christmas usually just set mums up for inevitable disappointment. 

"We get the first sniff of peppermint mochas and make out a “must do” Christmas list a mile long. Beautiful family Christmas memories can be made without the drive-in Grinch movie, the tacky light tour, and the neighbourhood Christmas cookie bake-off all in the same weekend. Just realise that FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) can kick in big. 

"Take it easy and leave plenty of room to relax."

family gathered around Christmas cookie baking

(Image credit: Getty Images)

2. Using Christmas as a bribe

"It’s easy for parents to pull the 'be good or else…' card to manage their kids’ behaviour around Christmas time. I refer to this tactic as 'Stooping to Santa.' Don’t lower your parenting standards to bribery, especially around a season and a character that is supposed to symbolise peace and goodwill on earth. 

"This not only turns the focus of Christmas into selfish gain on the part of your children, but it’s also lazy parenting, which never pays off in the long run. Being a mum is a professional career and deserves to be treated accordingly. 

"Love your kids enough to learn how to manage their behaviour appropriately and teach them self-discipline."

naughty, nice, I really tried list

(Image credit: Getty Images)

3. Becoming a "Holiday Martyr"

"I can sniff them out a mile away - the Martyr Mums! During Christmastime, Martyr Mums are at their peak performance - they wear themselves out making sure everyone else has the perfect Christmas, but never put themselves on the receiving end. 

"In reality, these are women who subconsciously compensate for a lack of self-worth and validate their role as a mum by creating too much busyness in their lives. All that really results from a mum who runs herself into the ground is just that: a mum who runs themselves into the ground! 

"If this is you, take a breath, put away the to-do list, and ask yourself, ”What would I have to believe to have a relaxed and joyful Christmas?” Maybe we can use that as a guide to sit back and relax. So why not just enjoy this moment? Maybe you’ll discover why it’s called the most wonderful time of the year."

busy mum at computer holding daughter at Christmas

(Image credit: Getty Images)

In other family news, we have some advice from a parenting expert, try her tips for carving out some ‘alone time’ this Christmas (we know it can be tricky) and a mum shares the "ultimate hack" for picking up LEGO, hint: it involves a sock.

Selina Maycock
Senior Family Writer

Selina is a Senior Family Writer for GoodtoKnow and has more than 16 years years of experience. She specialises in royal family news, including the latest activities of Prince George, Charlotte, Louis, Archie and Lilibet. She also covers the latest government, health and charity advice for families. Selina graduated from the University of Sheffield in 2006 with a degree in Journalism, and gained her NCTJ and NCE qualifications. During her career, she’s also written for Woman, Woman's Own, Woman&Home, and Woman's Weekly as well as Heat magazine, Bang Showbiz - and the Scunthorpe Telegraph. When she's not covering family news, you can find her exploring new countryside walking routes, catching up with friends over good food, or making memories (including award-winning scarecrows!)