The subject of 'favourites' in families can be tricky to navigate, but we went for it and asked grandparents if they admit to having a favourite grandchild - here's what they said...
Grandparents can often adore their grandkids so much, it can be devastating if they feel their grandchildren 'favour' the other grandparents. Some grandparents go out of their way to spend more time with grandchildren, and enjoy letting others know what their grandchildren do to make them feel loved.
But what if a grandparent has a favourite grandchild? It seems controversial, but these feelings are more common than you'd think, and don't have to mean the rest of the grandchildren are shunned or even have to find out. It took some persuading, but we managed to get grandparents to open up about whether or not they had a favourite grandchild.
- Dee has eight grandchildren. One of them is very special to her though. She tells us "I have five boys, and it was a special moment when I got my first granddaughter. And yes, I suppose if I'm really honest, she is my favourite. She's the only one of my grandchildren who lives near me, and I looked after her full time when her parents went back to work when she was little. She doesn't see her other grandparents because they live abroad - all those things mount up to mean she has an important place in my life. My sons joke about her being the favourite, which I brush off. I'd never treat my grandchildren differently and I love them all, but it's just different with her.
- Derek has four grandchildren. He says "This is a very difficult question. All of my grandchildren are wonderful. I'll say I'm more drawn to one than the rest, it was like we found each other, really. Right from when he was toddling about, I could see we had similar interests and the older he gets I can see we have the same sort of humour. He seems drawn to me and I'm drawn to him. Does that count as a favourite? Possibly."
- Andrea has two grandsons, and she feels similarly. She says "Holding my oldest grandson gave me the same feeling I had when I held my own children for the first time, just full of love. When the second grandchild came along I was so bonded to the first I was worried about upsetting him if he saw me holding the new baby. When I had my own children I loved them both straight away, but I did struggle to feel the same about my second grandson that I did with the first my first. I didn't tell anyone how I felt, and felt guilty for a long time. But that was just how I felt and I'd never let the children know, obviously."
- Grandmother Debbie has three grandchildren. She tells us "I've got three children of my own, two girls and a boy. I've now got three grandchildren, also two girls and a boy. I always made extra fuss of my little boy because his sisters were thick as thieves and he was always left out. My granddaughters are just the same - always together - and I'm now making the same fuss of my grandson. And that relationship is really special. Yes, I suppose you could say he is the one I feel more bonded with, he's a lot nicer than the little girls if I'm really honest."
- Grandmother Mary simply says "No, I absolutely don't have a favourite grandchild, I love them all the same."
- Caroline has grandchildren that live in a different country. She says "Some of my grandchildren live abroad and I only see them on Zoom and rarely in person. My other grandchildren and my daughter and son-in-law lived with me for a few years, so I have much more of a relationship with the ones I had with me all the time. I suppose that's only natural. The one time we've all managed to get together, the grandchildren from abroad were really wary of me and I felt like I didn't really know them. Being affectionate with the ones I know well was just easier. It does feel wrong to call them favourites though, but that's just the way things have turned out."
- Robert has four grandchildren. He shares "One of my granddaughters can be really mean to her siblings and cousins, it sort of makes it hard to like her. She's particularly nasty to her little sister, and I find myself wanting to take the little one under my wing and keep her safe from her sister. She's clever too, the one who gets picked on. I think I like her the best, yes."
For more on grandparents, they teach the most important life lessons, and set grandkids up with habits that last a lifetime. Some parents even find their child prefers their grandparents, which can cause conflicting feelings.
