At home Valentine's Day ideas can sometimes feel cringe we get it, but sometimes we just have to go with it and do what we have to do because, let's be honest, babysitters can be pricey. Here, we speak to sex positivity expert on how to have fun staying in.
Everyone's Valentine's Day can look different for everyone. Kids might choose to show off their knowledge of Valentine's Day facts to impress their friends, while mums could round up their friends for Galentine's Day revelry. Others might've made subtle hints to the person in their life over the best Valentine's Day gifts around, and enjoy the anticipation of waiting to see what they might receive.
Finding time to spend together is difficult for busy couples, in which case staying in and making your own fun is a great option. The cost of Valentine's Day menus, and pressure to mark the occasion in some way can dampen the romantic mood. Add to that paying for a babysitter while you consume your expensive dinner, and going out for V-Day can lose the appeal. Clio Wood is a women's health and sex positivity advocate and author of Get Your Mojo Back, Sex, Pleasure and Intimacy After Birth. She told us "Valentine's Day can often feel performative and consumerist. I like the fact that it's a reminder to show your loved ones you care, but I hate the fact that there's so much pressure to spend money or focus on the end game - sex. Remember that showing your love can be focused on giving your time and attention, and thoughtful acts rather than just about intercourse."
This article will offer stay-at-home Valentine's Day inspiration, to keep the costs low and fun levels high - keep the babysitter for another day and enjoy time with the person you love surrounded by the comforts of home.
At home Valentine's Day ideas
1. A romantic movie marathon
There are plenty of romantic movies to choose from, and making your selection might be half the fun. The film doesn't even have to revolve around love - the action one sat on your watch list for the last six months will be perfect. As long as you're watching something you both agree on, that quality time together is what counts.
Mum-of-two Rhi told us about the Valentine's Day movie tradition she has with her partner. "We try and watch all of the Bridget Jones films - all of them. As soon as the kids are asleep, we run downstairs and get the first one going. Then it truly is a marathon to see if we can stay awake for the last one - it's a lot of fun and I really look forward to it!"
2. Carve out some time during the day
You Valentine's celebration doesn't have to take place during the evening. If you're both at home during the day, doing something special at lunchtime is a great idea. If your kids are at school, great, but even taking 20 minutes to do something during nap time for those young children, can increase intimacy.
Clio Wood is a women's health and sex positivity advocate, and founder of award-winning women's wellbeing retreat company, &Breathe. Clio shared with us "Kids take up a lot of headspace and it's hard to plan for a night out, even when it's Valentine's Day. But mixing up your timing can really help - try a date lunch at home, instead of an evening out, that way childcare is usually taken care of and you're not so tired!
Couples I know have also found success with micro-moments of time together. If you can't go out, why not take a 30 minute bath together, spend 20 minutes playing a conversation game, 10 minutes giving a shoulder massage, five minutes kissing?"
3. Make yourselves some cocktails
If you've settled on having some cocktails or mocktails once the kids are tucked up in bed, channel your inner Tom Cruise in Cocktail, and get shaking. A book of cocktail recipes can be a good start to get your Negroni or Virgin Martini underway. There's also plenty of YouTube tutorials with recipes and top tips to get the perfect drink, just a click away on your device.
Mum-of-three, Orla wanted to be reminded of a special holiday on Valentine's Day. She said "When we were on our honeymoon, we constantly drank Mojitos. Last year, I came up with the idea of a playlist of all the songs we listened to on that trip - we'd play them on Valentine's Day while we drank Mojitos and reminisced. We bought a Mojito making kit (£39.95, The Cocktail Connoisseurs), sang along to our playlist, and had a really fun evening."
4. Have a picnic in your front room
Did somebody say crisps, dips, cocktail sausages and mini pizzas? Whatever your favourite picnic food, there's something fun about eating one in your own front room. You might even have a play tent your kids use already set up - in which case, clear out their toys, pop down some blankets and cushions, and let it become your adult space for the evening.
It might not be tapas, but 'picky bits' and an evening of grazing is parent heaven. Especially when you've picked out all your best bites that need minimal preparation. It's all made even better by not having to share anything with little people and have their sticky hands making the mood a little less romantic.
5. Spend the evening outside
Wrap up warm, grab those blankets and get yourselves outside for the evening - you can take the monitor out if you need to. This activity can be as simple as gazing at the stars while you share some drinks. Or, you could go all out and fire up the BBQ, and for those with a pizza oven, get those margheritas going (Margaritas with your margherita?)
Dad-of-two, Tom told us "We love doing something outside for date nights. We bought our kids a Jumbo Hi-Tower (£39.99, Big Game Hunters) for them to play with outside during the day. We played it ourselves one evening when they were in bed - it's basically giant Jenga, and it got really competitive. Our Valentine's Day this year is Hi-Tower wars with a bottle of wine!"
6. Cook a meal together
This probably won't be something busy parents do regularly, and is a great way to spend some quality time together. There's many forms this could take - you prepare something together from scratch, get a meal box in, or whoever does the bulk of the cooking usually can have a night off and watch something being created for them. Clio Wood said "If you very rarely connect properly with your other half because life is so busy, taking the time to plan and cook a special meal at home might mean far more than a hastily booked restaurant."
Mum-of-three, Michelle said "We love COOK in our house. Ever since I was given a COOK voucher for one of my maternity leaves, we've used them for special occasions. I've spent ages this year perusing their Valentine's meal boxes (from £30, COOK) to choose a really special meal. They don't need too much in the way of preparation, but that's part of the treat - just being in the kitchen together rarely happens, and it'll give us time to catch up and eat together, also something we don't do enough of!"
7. Do a jigsaw together
They might be something we bought our kids to help them with gross motor skills and other developmental necessities, but jigsaws have many benefits for adults, too. Studies indicate jigsaw puzzling helps regulate distressing emotions, prevent chronic stress, and improve long-term memory by preventing cognitive aging. These are just some of the benefits, there are actually many more, but anything to alleviate the stress of busy lives is a good place to start.
Mum-of-one, Rosa, said "I loved helping my daughter with jigsaws, and as she got older and they got more difficult, I got even more interested. She got a Harry Potter jigsaw for her birthday, and it was far too hard for her, so I did it one evening when she was asleep. Now I have a jigsaw table and do them all the time. Me and my husband are going to start a Star Wars Death Star puzzle (£29.99, Rest In Pieces) for a bit of fun, although it'll take more date evenings than just Valentine's to finish!"
8. Have a spa-at-home
Although face masks and a bit of manicuring won't be for everyone (looking at the dads here), there's no reason why you can't take it in turns to give each other a massage. Or someone can rub your feet while you're watching the film you've picked out. However you choose to approach it, the power of touch can't be underestimated.
Studies have shown that couples who touch each other more tend to be happier. Massage, caresses, hand-holding and hugging, improve relationship satisfaction and have unique benefits separate to sexual touch. These include promoting connection and relaxation, while boosting communication and intimacy.
9. Create a trivia challenge
Consider this a pub quiz about your relationship. You can make this as fun as you like, by create a customised game with questions about each other. This can include questions about likes, dislikes, favourite foods, places you've travelled too, and memorable moments together.
If you don't want to make it about your partnership, there's plenty of other options. There's apps and websites galore that offer traditional pub quiz questions that will put your general knowledge well and truly to the test, as you go up against one another.
10. Share a scrap book of your favourite moments together
Although this requires a bit of time and dedication beforehand, there are major benefits to this one. If you decide to make your own scrap book of favourite pictures from your time together, you can print off actual photos - because nobody really does that anymore, and it's something we should definitely do more of. You can also get one printed online with pictures from your phone if that's easier, and they do look effective.
Another benefit is sitting down to look at the finished product together - there will be no screens or distractions, just the two of you engaging in conversation as you walk memory lane. Mum-of-two, Lucy said "I made my husband a digital picture book for his 40th, and he was ecstatic (from £11.99, Photobox). He loves physical photos too, so I once bought a lovely book and put lots of printed photos inside, with romantic messages. It was pretty soppy, but I'm like that - he loved it, and I loved putting it together."
Clio Wood is a maternal health and sex positivity advocate, journalist and author of Get Your Mojo Back, Sex, Pleasure and Intimacy After Birth (Watkins 2023). She is also the Founder of &Breathe, an award-winning women's wellbeing retreat company, which she started after her first daughter was born and noticed a lack of proper postpartum care. She lives in east London with her husband, Bryn, and daughters, Delphi and Echo, and loves unusual names, travelling, reading and eating too much ice cream.
For more about the day we up our romance game, we've looked into the Valentine's Day origins, and what to write in a Valentine's Day card if you're struggling for inspiration. If you're buying Valentine's gifts for kids this year, we've got adorable ideas for all ages.
