14 things you only know if you gave birth to a BIG baby

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  • If you’ve ever carried a larger-than-average baby, you’ll know that incubating them for nine months was no walk in the park.

    But after the pregnancy and the terrifying challenging birth, there’s a whole host of things you’ll only come up against if you’ve got a not-so-little new addition to the family.

    Here are 14 things you’ll only know if you’ve had a big baby… (other than the fact that you’re a bona fide badass!)

    1. Nothing could have prepared you for the number on those scales

    You knew they were going to be big – the scans and the excruciating back pain taught you that much – but bloody hell, how did they even fit?

    2. Your other half was seriously impressed

    His newfound respect for you far surpasses what either of you expected.

    3. Oh, and so was the midwife

    She was either impressed or utterly horrified, anyway.

    4. In fact, there was general wonderment, kudos and concern about your vagina from every angle

    Is it really okay to be so interested in the ‘state’ of my vagina after giving birth to a big baby? Probs not.

    5. Meeting big brother or sister wasn’t the touching affair you’d imagined it to be

    You’d better not put them on Millie’s lap, she’s far too small and delicate to hold that many lbs.

    6. Or your grandpa/auntie/elderly neighbour, for that matter

    Same applies.

    7. The mums at baby group wondered why they hadn’t met your baby before

    Er, they’d literally just been born, that’s why.

    8. But they wouldn’t believe your answer

    To be fair, neither would you.

    9. You were dressing them in age six months from the get go

    Having to buy clothes from the actual child section when they’re only six months old is not purse-friendly…

    10. And were so glad you didn’t go crazy buying baby shoes…

    … straight to the toddler shoes it is then!

    11. You wondered if you did something weird during pregnancy

    Was it all that ‘eating for two’ you did?!

    12. And may have started Googling things like ‘big baby big adult?’

    How tall will they actually end up getting? Do we need to move to a house with high ceilings? So many questions!

    13. People assumed you were feeding them junk

    Which was incredibly rude and dismissive of your carefully crafted baby weaning plan.

    14. Or maybe just way too much

    Hey, they’re still growing, okay?

    But no matter what people say, they’ll always be your little baby

    Even when they pass the 6 foot mark at 10 years old.

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