11 reasons why mayonnaise is pure evil

I hate mayonnaise. It’s the only food I don’t like and I never will. Hate it too? You’ll know exactly what I mean with these 11, very real, reasons why mayonnaise is evil and must be punished

Our food editor Anna has a confession to make: she hates mayo. Here she makes her case for why the white stuff is pure evil, do you agree with her?

I hate mayonnaise. It’s the only food I don’t like and I never will.

Hate it too?

You’ll know exactly what I mean with these 11 reasons why mayonnaise is evil and must be punished.

1. It’s everywhere (and it hides)

You can’t even order a simple burger without lifting the bun to find the mayo lurking. Forget nipping to the supermarket for a sandwich either, mayonnaise rules that domain too.

2. It's a partner in crime

It makes the most antisocial of sandwiches when combined with the dreaded tuna and pesky sweetcorn, coming to an office near you...

3. It’s slimey 

It’s particularly slithery when mixed with eggs. Mayonnaise is made with eggs! Why do you need more?! What’s wrong with a bit of texture?! Another antisocial lunch option (see 2).

4. Did I say it’s slimey?

… and don’t even get me started on mayo mixed with prawns. A sandwich with a prawn-to-mayonnaise ratio that makes it more like a chunky soup spread between two sad bits of bread - the bread never stood a chance.

5. It ruins Christmas

Speaking of prawns, how many Christmases have you sat through pretending to eat the prawn cocktail starter and willing someone to take it away so you can forget about it and enjoy your Christmas dinner?

6. It makes coleslaw the enemy

The dreaded BBQ side, coleslaw is made of thinly cut vegetables for maximum mayo coverage. There’s no eating round it.

7. It makes a mockery of potatoes

So much to love about potatoes, but so much to hate about a cold potato salad, festering in its mayo bath.

8. It's stealthy

You’ve made a point of asking for no mayonnaise in your burger (see 1). But then said burger arrives and of course, they’ve forgotton to hold the mayo. Next time, HOLD. THE. MAYO. If only you could pass it off as a life-threatening allergy.

9. It comes in many guises

Aioli sounds fancy doesn’t it, tasty even? Don’t be fooled, it’s garlic mayonnaise in disguise. Dijonnaise is mayo in mustard's clothing. And while we’re on the subject of disguises, herbs, peri peri sauce and horseradish do it no favours either.

10. It makes a horrible condiment partner

Ketchup is lovely and mayo is not, and never the twain shall meet.

11. It takes up way too much space in the fridge

Why does it come in such big jars? They are so big that towards the end you have to watch the indignity of your family trying to get at the mayo with a teaspoon without getting it all over their hands.

What do you think? Do you agree with Anna? Or are you a big mayo fan? Tell us below...


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