What should your partner know about you?

mixed race woman and partner on sofa
(Image credit: Getty)

What should your partner know about you? If you’re in a relationship, it’s likely you’ve pondered on this. What should you share and what’s ok to keep to yourself?  Here’s ten things your partner really ought to know about you – and how to tackle the trickier conversations. 

1. How you take your tea and coffee

It might seem insignificant but your partner knowing the little things about you, such as exactly how you take your coffee can really make you feel that they care. And if it means they wake you up with a hot cup of coffee in the morning, well, that’s a bonus. 

2. Your family values

If you’re early on in your relationship, this might feel like a big discussion to have. But knowing you’re both on the same page – whether that’s wanting marriage, one or several children, or neither of those things, will lay the foundations for a great future together. And if you’re already coupled up with kids? Regularly sharing with your partner your views on future goals, how you discipline the children, or simply the running of your home, will keep you functioning as a strong team.

3. How you handle money

Not every couple finds it easy to talk about money – and it’s often a source of rows. But when sharing a life together, being open with your partner about finances and spending habits is essential. Pick a time when you’re both feeling relaxed to talk over bills, budgets and how you can tackle any debt you may have. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses when it comes to financial matters. By working out yours – and sharing them, you’ll be able to work together. 

couple smiling at each other

4. Your daily routine

Do they get up at five am to workout while you’re still in your pjs at midday? You don’t need to be on the same schedule but your partner knowing what a typical day looks like for you will help you to make time for each other. And if you don’t yet live together, it will help you discuss how your lives can fit together in a way that suits you both. 

5. Your love language

You and your partner don’t need to speak the same of the five love languages – Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch or Receiving Gifts – you just need to be able to express yourselves in a way which makes you both feel understood and valued. You can simply tackle this by saying things such as, “I feel really loved when you make time for me in the evenings,” or “I feel really valued when you buy me flowers”.

6. If you’d like to be an organ donor

Talking about death might feel morbid, but by telling your family whether you’d like to be an organ donor or not, you can give them the certainty they need to support your decision at a difficult time. Whatever your organ donation decision, you can register your choice on the NHS Organ Donor Register. Telling your loved ones is an important part of this decision as they will always be involved before organ donation goes ahead. Have an honest and open chat about it so you’re sure what each other wants. 

7. Dreams and aspirations

Letting your partner know what your dreams and aspirations are can help them to support you in achieving those goals – and vice versa. Whether that is looking after the kids in the evenings so you can work on a project or taking extra shifts at work so you can go back to university, having them on side will not only bring you closer, but it will help you chase the things that make you happy.

Couple together on sofa

8. If you have allergies or medical needs

Whether you’re allergic to peanuts or have diabetes, your partner knowing your medical history and needs will help them with day-to-day things such as knowing what meals they can cook you, as well as the answers to important questions if they have to advocate for you in a medical emergency 

9. Your beliefs

It may be important to you to know if you and your partner share the same core values – especially if you do plan on raising a family together. Being aware of each other’s religious beliefs and where you stand politically can help you both avoid surprises and conflict later down the line.

10. How you like to recharge

Do you like to be alone or do you prefer to let off steam with your friends and family? Telling your partner what helps you to relax will allow them to help you decompress. The key is communicating those needs so you both understand each other’s needs in stressful situations, and so you can support each other in a way which works for you both.