Phillip Shcofield has confessed he turned to medication to deal with hiding his sexuality before coming out as gay.
The This Morning host, 58, admitted his true sexuality earlier this year, during an interview with his friend and co-host Holly Willoughby.
Writing in his new autobiography Life’s What You Make It, Phil documented the impact hiding such a secret had on his mental health, forcing him to turn to prescription pills ‘to take the edge off’ as he struggled to sleep.
Recalling what life was like, Phil said, ‘It’s like being inside the blackest cloud and being consumed by crushing, desperate sadness. Nothing and no one can make it better.
‘My weight dropped and as it hit 9st 12lbs This Morning viewers started to notice. I was getting tweets from people asking if I was ill.’
Phil added that he knew he needed to reveal his secret otherwise ‘it was going to give me a total breakdown… at best.’
Appearing on The One Show to publicise his new book, Phil praised his best friend Holly for being there for him – confessing he wouldn’t have been able to do the interview with anyone else.
He said, ‘I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else sitting beside me.’ Phillip added in the book, ‘My friends are the best, especially Holly, who has been so kind and wise – and who has hugged me as I sobbed on her shoulder.’
Last month it was reported that Phil will get a divorce from his wife of nearly 27 years, Steph. The couple share two grown up children, Molly and Ruby.
A source told The Sun, ‘Phillip and Steph have had a lot of hard, painful conversations of the past 10 months but they remain as tight and devoted to one another as ever.’