‘Why I hate father’s day’ - one dad shares the relatable reasons he doesn’t like the celebration

Some love the special day, while others loathe it

Dad sat on a chair with two children either side of him
(Image credit: Lucy Wigley)

'I really hate Father's Day.' One dad shares with us the reasons he really doesn't like the celebration - the day can be everything from challenging to annoying, and this father-of-two pinpoints reasons for disliking it. 

From picking out the best Father's Day gifts, to choosing somewhere dads go free for the day, some will go all-out to celebrate the special father figure in their life. There's certainly nothing wrong with that - if you have an amazing dad, why not honour them? There's never a right or wrong way to 'do' the day, but some who ask why we celebrate Father's Day are quite literal in really wanting to know why - because they don't want to.

Scott is a father-of-two, and one of the people who doesn't celebrate Father's Day. We understand it can be a difficult day for those missing their father, or for those hoping to be a father. These aren't Scott's reasons for disliking the day, as he shares with us just why he thinks the entire day is just a little bit farcical.

Why I hate Father's Day

Scott shares "We didn't do Father's Day growing up - it wasn't something my own dad believed in, so it was just another day in our family. Although it looks like my reason for hating it came from my upbringing, that's not actually the case. I couldn't wait to be a dad and as a lover of any reason to celebrate, I thought I'd really enjoy a day that was all about me.

But when I was actively in fatherhood, I rapidly changed my mind. My wife gave up a lot to keep our family unit going - she left her job and any sort of freedom behind to stay at home with our children. To be honest, I was relieved. I found being a dad so much harder than I expected, and was in awe of the patience she had to take the kids to endless baby groups, soft plays, and not be on the edge of constantly losing it. I was glad of the working lunch meetings and conferences I got to go to, where I'd chat with abandon and eat uninterrupted - when she didn't get one moment to herself. 

I felt she deserved Mother's Day - although strangely, it's a day she also loathes (she's mentioned something about love languages that I should probably ask more about,) and I'm more than happy to make a big fuss of this day if she wanted it. But when it came to celebrating my role on Father's Day, I almost felt I didn't deserve it. I'm active in my kids' lives, it just doesn't seem to be anything near the monumental input my wife has and it felt disingenuous to force feeling like the world's greatest dad for one overly commercialised day.

I'm a dad every day. I don't really need a designated day to shout about it and create extra stress for my wife and children to pull together gifts when I don't need anything, and put them under pressure to make sure we're all having a 'great time.' A hug, kiss and telling me something they appreciate about me - if they really want to - is absolutely fine by me.  

"I'm a dad every day. I don't really need a day to shout about it and create extra stress for my wife and children to pull together gifts when I don't need anything, and put them under pressure to make sure we're all having a 'great time.'"

As well as having Father's Day shouted at me by local shops and restaurants selling overpriced cards and inflating special menus for the day, I find social media difficult on the day. Neither myself or my wife are big users of social media. I use it for helpful groups, and she mainly uses it to laugh at hilarious Instagram reels. I'm also one of the many people who send her the funny cat content she loves so much.

Again, I have no problem with people sharing their lives online - I know it can be cathartic, and my news feed would be boring if everyone was like me and posted very little. But I have to say, the performative posts I see on Father's Day from people I know whose lives are just as much of a bin fire as mine can be, is 'cringe' as my pushing-teen kids would say - knowing their real lives are nothing like the 'best day ever!' 'or 'best dad ever!' fakery diminishes my faith in humanity.

I know, I should just let it all go, but I can't. Over the years, the reasons for disliking the big performance of Father's Day just makes me want to retreat and pretend it's not happening. I'd rather sit down with a beer, hug my family and use the day to quietly reflect on how I can be a better dad. Maybe with a few cat videos thrown in for good measure."

For more on dads, try these quotes and messages to put in your Father's Day card if you're drawing a blank, or these healthy Father's Day recipes if you're planning to cook up a wholesome storm. Even Mr Men launched new characters for the big day this year, if you want to snap up a card featuring one of the newbies.

Lucy Wigley
Parenting writer - contributing

Lucy is a mum-of-two, multi-award nominated writer and blogger with six years’ of experience writing about parenting, family life, and TV. Lucy has contributed content to PopSugar and moms.com. In the last three years, she has transformed her passion for streaming countless hours of television into specialising in entertainment writing. There is now nothing she loves more than watching the best shows on television and sharing why you - and your kids - should watch them.