18 signs you’re a Christmas-hating mum

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  • December is a wonderful time of year, but not if you're a mum who isn't madly in love with all things to do with Christmas.

    You don’t have to be a Christmas hater per se, but if you’re failing to get as excited as everyone else, here are the signs that you just might be a bit of a Grinch.

    From stressing about the damn turkey, to avoiding the in-laws, to preferring a normal glass of wine that isn’t heated and spiced, we’re sure you’ll find a few of these scenarios all too familiar!

    Refusing to wear a Christmas jumper, even for the family photo on Christmas day

    Image: Comedy Bang! Bang!/Earwolf Media/IFC
    You don’t care if Rudolph’s nose lights up – it’s not going anywhere near your body.

    Flicking through the car radio in the hopes of finding a station that isn’t playing Christmas songs

    Image: Wham/Andrew Morahan
    Nope, nope, nope – oh, maybe this one – nope, still Wham!.

    Not understanding why everyone loves snow

    Image: Game Of Thrones/HBO
    It’s not fun, it’s a bloody nuisance.

    Wanting to avoid all shops at all costs

    Image: Black-ish/ABC
    You silently scream when the kids are already pointing out things they want from Santa in October.

    Not exactly being thrilled at the idea of a Christmas tree

    Image: The Mindy Project/Hulu/NBC
    When everyone is getting excited decorating it, you’re just wincing at the collection of pine needles gathering on the floor.

    Wondering if anyone will notice if you just don’t bother with Christmas cards this year…

    Image: Seinfeld/Castle Rock Entertainment/Columbia TriStar Television
    Just seeing the Christmas cards start dropping from the letterbox in November makes you wince. You know that for every one you receive, you’ll have to send one back. What a waste of stamps.

    And questioning why every student in your child’s class needs a card

    Image: The Simpson’s/Gracie Television/20th Century Fox
    Particularly when you know you’re going to have to finish writing them once they’ve done the ones for their ‘bestest’ friends.

    Refusing to consume anything pumpkin spice flavoured, ever

    Ever since the sickly sweet concoction invaded from across the pond, you’ve avoided it at all costs.

    Dreading the onset of Christmas desserts

    Image: Ally McBeal/20th Century Fox
    Having to swallow down mouthfuls of Christmas pudding, after spending hours boiling the thing, is not your jam.

    Wondering what the deal with all the dried fruit is

    Just thinking of monstrosities that are mince pies and fruit cake – why do we love dried, mushy fruit so much?!

    Hating what Christmas does to beverages as well

    Even mulled wine can’t save you – it’s really just a sugary, less alcoholic, thicker and more expensive version of a perfectly good glass of Merlot. And eggnog? Bleurgh.

    Feeling just a little bit resentful towards Mariah Carey every December

    Image: Mariah Carey/Brett Ratner
    Hearing ‘I-i-iiii… don’t want a lot fooor Christmas…’ for the 847th time in your life is a slow punishment.

    Ditching the Christmas markets for the cinema

    They’re overpriced, overcrowded, plus baby it’s cold outside.

    Considering scrapping the turkey altogether

    Image: Family Guy/20th Century Fox
    It’s basically just chicken’s tougher, drier and less delicious cousin.

    Hating the damn expense of it all

    Image: Full House/Lorimar Television/Warner Bros
    Coming this close to re-mortgaging the house every December is not worth it.

    Already planning your excuse for bunking off the office Christmas party

    They’re always a let down – people either don’t get drunk enough or get too drunk. Yeah, um, you’re washing your hair that evening… ?

    Wanting to avoid the extended family at all costs, but knowing you can’t

    Image: Saturday Night Live/SNL Studios/NBC
    Spending time with the insufferable in-laws doesn’t get better – can your mother-in-law stop turning her nose up at the food you cooked? Yes, we all know the turkey is dried out!

    And getting VERY tired of having to explain every single factor of Santa’s existence

    Image: Community/Sony Pictures Television/NBC
    Trying not to scream ‘because he’s not real!’ at every question gets harder and harder. And then you feel bad because you were the one who fed the lie to them in the first place.

    It might be time to admit it to yourself… you’re a Scrooge. Pass the humbugs.