Kate Lawler says being a mum to a newborn has ‘broken her’ as she reveals she's in dark place with baby Noa

Kate Lawler attends a live broadcast of "The Happy Vagina" podcast at Treehouse Hotel London on March 8, 2020 in London, England
(Image credit: Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images)

Kate Lawler has revealed she’s in the ‘darkest place’ she’s ever been as she opens up following comments about her recent Mother's Day Instagram post.

The Virgin Radio host and her fiancé Martin welcomed a baby girl last month after the first-time mum suffered a ‘complication’ in labour. The new mum then faced days of waiting as her daughter was in intensive care before she could take her home. Kate went on to reveal her little girl’s beautiful and unusual baby name - Noa Daisy Ilse. 

Now Kate has shared a deeply personal message in light of comments made after a recent Instagram post. On Mother’s Day, Kate uploaded a sweet snap of her two dogs, Baxter and Shirley. This led some to criticise her for not sharing a photo of Noa or her mum on this special day.

In response, Kate opened up like never before about her experience of new motherhood. The in-depth post went on to reveal that she felt like she was at ‘breaking point’ in recent days.

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She explained: ‘If you must know, being a mum to a newborn is not the best thing ever right now. It's broken me. I feel as though I've been treading water since February 11th and the last two days I've felt like I'm at breaking point.

I'm not coping well mentally and wish I could be stronger for my daughter. I'm not enjoying what I'm going through, yes I'm struggling and you're right, I am sad behind the eyes because I've always taken on new challenges like a duck to water but this one is testing me & I feel like I'm failing.

I'm not afraid to say it because thanks to people like you, there's far too much pressure on new parents to say how blissful the 'newborn bubble' is when really it's different for EVERY parent because EVERY baby is different’, she wrote. 

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Kate also went on to share in more detail exactly what she has been going through since giving birth to Noa in February.

In Noa's case, of her first 33 days outside the womb, 14 were spent in hospital, she's still not sleeping (barely two hours a night) due to trapped wind, reflux or colic’, she wrote, before adding that they would know more as they were taking her to the GP later that day.  

Directly addressing the comments about her Mother's Day post, Kate explained that her dogs have ‘not been walked half as much’ since Noa was born because she is the ‘priority’, though not being able to give them as much attention also makes the star feel ‘guilty’

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But I love my child and for nearly five weeks I've devoted myself to keeping her alive. I breastfeed day and night, I comfort, hold, kiss and cuddle her, bath and dress her, I sing and play with her,’ she added, before going on to explain, 'I'm in the darkest place I've ever been in, trying to stay positive'.

The Virgin Radio star also revealed that she ‘held back’ posting a photo of her with Noa out of sensitivity to ‘those with fertility struggles’.  

Kate powerfully concluded, ‘[If] you happen to feel the same, stay strong, you’re not alone. #BeKind’.

Emma Shacklock
Senior Lifestyle Writer

Emma is a Senior Lifestyle Writer with six years of experience working in digital publishing, ranging from book publishing to magazines. She currently looks after all things Lifestyle for Woman&Home, Goodto.com, and My Imperfect Life.