If you're looking for a way to console your upset child without them running away or coming back at you, Drew Barrymore has one she's tried and tested and admits it 'changed her life'.
Parenting is tricky whatever your child's age, from teenagers tuning you out to abnormal behaviour in toddlers, you might want to know how to respond when your kids says 'I hate you'.
Mum-of-two Drew Barrymore has shared a successful tip she learned from parenting expert Dr. Aliza Pressman, author of 5 Principles of Parenting, when dealing with her upset daughters Olive, 11, and Frankie, nine, whom she shares with ex-husband Will Kopelman.
Speaking on an episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, where she was joined by Dr Aliza, the actress said: "You specifically changed my life. I had my daughter Olive, who Aliza knows, she was going through a phase, this was years ago, where when she would get upset, I would try to go to her and I would try to make it better.
"That was the last thing she needed or wanted. I didn't understand it, she would either run away or come back at me. But either way was like the two extremes of no goodness and Aliza taught me to regulate myself, which again was like, okay. You said walk in the room and just say, 'I understand we're having a moment.'
"'I'm here on the other side of this door for you, waiting. When you are ready, I am here.' And I would walk out and take a deep breath. I got the best results I've ever gotten in my parenting from that and it was never a way in I had thought of."
Dr Aliza replied, "I think we get so scared of the big feelings, that we want to fix them. And we're chasing them. And the message is like, 'We are afraid of feelings.' And feelings aren't dangerous! Being able to regulate ourselves as adults and say, 'Okay, I'm not being chased by a bear. My daughter's not being chased by a bear.' Meaning, it's not an emergency. It's a feeling."
She continued, "And it makes sense that you would want to make sure that your child is happy. But we need our kids to know how to dress for the weather and not try to control the weather. Because we can't. So, better they understand how to have the feelings and that they are survivable and that we are not shaken."
In other family news, can you spot the signs of parental burnout? A parenting coach shares 7 symptoms and ideas on how you can cope with it and child psychotherapist Dr Becky reveals why these four words are “better” than empty threats.
