35 back-to-school jokes - they're hilarious and educational (kind of)

The back-to-school jokes that will make the school run a (cringey) breeze

Back-to-school jokes illustrated by mum and kids on school run
(Image credit: Getty Images)

These back-to-school jokes are great for both the kids and adults on the school run. They range from the educational, and funny to the downright cringe, they're sure to have the whole family laughing...

Jokes are just one area of life that parents research, and it's a bit more fun than the practical research like the best school shoes, or when to apply for primary schools yep as kids get older you can start looking for things like the best dad jokes (our article has 120 of them). Jokes really are a great way to bond with kids.

Mum-of-three, Dionne tells us; "As long as I'm not doing it to distract them from their feelings, jokes go down so well with my lot. It can get a little silly, but the silliness is what breaks the nerves up - go with the silliness." And, she's not wrong, research shows that laughter, like physical exercise, increases adrenaline and oxygen flow, releases feel-good endorphins, and pumps up heart rates. And like a good workout, that burst of energy can result in kids feeling relaxed and calm.

So we've compiled some of the best back-to-school jokes out there that promise to have school kids feeling more relaxed on the school run.

Back-to-school jokes

  1. What will happen if you swallow a book of synonyms? "You'll get thesaurus throat you ever had."
  2. What is blue and not heavy? "Light blue."
  3. Why did the M&M go to school? "Because he wanted to be a Smartie."
  4. Why do magicians do well at school? "They're good at trick questions."
  5. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in class? "She had really bright students."
  6. What is the snake's favourite subject? "Hissssstory."
  7. How do bees get to school? "On the school buzz."
  8. Why can't you work in an orange juice factory? "Because you can't concentrate."
  9. What kind of school do surfers go to? "A board school"
  10. How can you make seven even? "By taking away the S."

Back-to-school jokes illustrated by a graphic of a bee and a school building

(Image credit: Future)
  1. What's a maths teacher's favourite dessert? "Pi."
  2. How can you make sure you get straight As? "Use a ruler."
  3. What is why when it's dirty and black when it's clean? "A blackboard."
  4. What did the triangle say to the circle? "You're pointless."
  5. What kind of meals do maths teacher's eat? "Square meals."
  6. Why did the music teacher have a ladder? "To reach the high notes."
  7. Why was the maths book sad? "It had too many problems."
  8. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? "Because the get lost at C."
  9. What kind of school do giants go to? "High school."
  10. Why did the echo get a detentions? "For answering back, back, back."

Back-to-school jokes illustrated by cartoon pirate looking for a C

(Image credit: Future)
  1. Why did the kid cross the playground? "To get to the other slide."
  2. Why did the dog do so well at school? "Because he was the teacher's pet."
  3. What do teachers do at the beach? "Test the water."
  4. Who's in charge of the pencil case? "The ruler."
  5. What time would it be if T-Rex came to school? "Time to run"
  6. Why don't fish go on holiday? "Because they're always in a school."
  7. Why didn't the sun go to college? "Because it already has a million degrees."
  8. Why did the student bring scissors to school? "Because he wanted to cut class."
  9. What is a butterflies favourite subject? "Moth-matics."
  10. Why did the student throw her watch out the window? "To see time fly."
  11. What colour is a belch? "Burp-le."
  12. What does a sandwich after work? "It's ham-work."
  13. Where can people learn to make ice cream? "Sundae school"
  14. Why did the kids eat their homework? "Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake."
  15. Why isn't there a clock in the library? "Because it tocks too much."

Now you're all set for the school run, check you have all the right dates on the wall planner with our piece on when kids go back to school after summer? Or, find the best bargains around on back-to-school supplies for 2023. We also have a brilliant article on how to save money on back-to-school costs - 12 expert tips and you might want to check which schools are closed, following fears around potentially dangerous concrete. 

Stephanie Lowe
Family Editor

Stephanie Lowe is Family Editor at GoodToKnow covering all things parenting, pregnancy and more. She has over 13 years' experience as a digital journalist with a wealth of knowledge and experience when it comes to all things family and lifestyle. Stephanie lives in Kent with her husband and son, Ted. Just keeping on top of school emails/fund raisers/non-uniform days/packed lunches is her second full time job.