Vicky Pattison opens up on heartbreaking reason for not having kids

Vicky Pattison has opened up on the heartbreaking real reason she's not had children yet as she discusses her fears over 'genetic alcoholism'.

The Geordie Shore star shot to fame on the 2011 MTV reality show but she appeared intoxicated in many episodes alongside her co-stars, and Vicky, who lost three-stone in weightloss (opens in new tab), admitted she had started 'depending' on alcohol and feared that she would 'end up like her dad'.

In a new tell-all Channel 4 documentary Vicky Pattison: My Dad, Alcohol and Me, Vicky, who is engaged to Ercan Ramadan (opens in new tab), opens up on her her dad's alcoholism and how her relationship with the bottle put her off from starting a family.

"At times, when I wasn't in the best place - when I was abusing alcohol and depending on it I would lie awake at night wondering if this was just it- the start of that slippery slope," Vicky said.

"I do everything to extremes. If I'm going to go to the gym, I'm going to go five times a week," she explained.

"If I'm going to party, I want to be the last one standing, there was never any balance.

"So I convinced myself it was a forgone conclusion that I was going to end up like my dad and it led us down some real self sabotaging paths at times."

But one of Vicky's biggest fears was that alcoholism was 'genetic', she explained, "My main motivation for making this documentary was that I had a strong belief that there was a huge element of alcoholism that was completely genetic," Vicky continued.

"That because my dad had it in him, I was just going to have it in me and I truly believed my kids would have it too and I didn't want them to feel different to everyone else, to feel out of control, to feel powerless to stop something (opens in new tab)."

She added, "Like their life was only going to be one way - It was going to be hard and sad and they were going to hurt people they loved.

"So that's a huge reason why I haven't had children yet."

Vicky previously revealed the baby advice Kelly Brook gave (opens in new tab) her after tragic miscarriage.

But since facing her fears, Vicky has admitted that she's found 'peace and clarity' as well as learning loads about the illness.

She added, "Now I am in a really good place with a nice man and I've done this documentary and learnt loads about this illness.

"I understand there is an element of it that is learnt behaviour and potentially hereditary but more than that I know we have choices as well."

Vicky Pattison: My Dad, Alcohol and Me airs on August 2nd on Channel 4.