7 reasons to fear the mummy mafia

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  • They travel in gaggles of 6 or more and take up pathways and pavements with their extra large pushchairs.

    They’re on a mission to get their kids to school quicker than you and there’s no stopping them.

    Yes, the mummy mafia are real and they’re out to get you – here’s why you should be afraid.

    1. They’re judgemental 

    So, we didn’t have time to get the kids ready AND remember to brush our hair. We’re trying our best and we don’t think the state of our hair is any of your business, thank you very much.

    2. They’re way too intense

    A gaggle of women all in the same place at the same time, vying to be queen bee? That just screams tension.

    3. They own the road

    Whether it’s cars or pushchairs, there’s no way you’re getting round them – unless you want to be thrown into the middle of the mosh pit.

    4. They’ve got each other’s backs 

    So don’t you dare mess with them. If you’re friends with one of them, you’re friends with all of them. If you’re not friends with one of them – you’re public enemy number 1.

    5. Once you’re in, there’s no getting out

    Think you’ve got what it takes to be part of the mummy mafia? Think again! It’s a 24/7 commitment. Having an off-day? Not possible when you run with these ladies. We think they must have a secret code or something.

    6. They’re forming an army

    So many kids, so many mums – their numbers are getting bigger by the day. We’re not even sure which kid belongs to which mother, it’s mayhem we tell you – mayhem!

    7. It’s their way or the highway 

    And if you’ve opted for the highway, the school gates can be a terribly frosty place.

    Urgh, who has the energy?

    Where to next?

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