EXCLUSIVE: ‘You can pick up a vibe’ – Marvin Humes on sharing the parenting load, his Valentine’s Day plans and how he deals with the dreaded dad guilt

Marvin Humes has opened up on how his relationship with his wife Rochelle has changed since they had kids, the dad guilt he now faces and reveals his top tips for sharing the mental load.

All parents will be able to identify some of the stresses that stem from raising children, whether it's worrying about child development and school run meltdowns to feeling 'mum guilt' over having to work or simply do your own thing.

And with the countdown to Valentine's Day, just days away, there's even more pressure to impress your other half with the best Valentine's gifts for her or the best Valentine's Day gifts for him – and not forgetting these cute Valentine's gifts for kids.

But forget flowers and chocolates, a new survey by Ninja has revealed that 69 percent of the nation wants to be gifted an air fryer (like one of these best air fryers for families) by their partner this Valentine’s Day. Celebrity parents are no different, apparently. Marvin is a dad to daughters Alaia, 10, and Valentina, six, and son Blake, three with his wife Rochelle.

On behalf of Ninja Valentine's Day gift hinting service, Marvin shared his tips for celebrating one of the most romantic days of the year when you have kids. Speaking to GoodtoKnow, he said, "Get the grandparents in! If you can, get a babysitter in for the night to do something special. If not, the kids need to have an early night so you can set yourself aside a bit of time for the two of you to have a chilled, romantic time together." 

If you're stuck for some gifting inspiration, Marvin shared, "A good technique to get the kids is to subtly ask Mummy or Daddy what it is they would like. Over the years, I've definitely bought Rochelle some eyebrow-raising gifts. This year she has dropped a hint – she wants an air fryer. Little does she know, it's me who's been dreaming of a new air fryer! Thanks to Ninja, I'm turning the tables this time with an air fryer she never knew she needed. Love is in the air, and so will be the smells of my famous air fryer chicken thighs!". Let's hope Rochelle's not reading this or you might need to get an extra gift, Marv!

For some couples, it can be a struggle, especially if your other half doesn't know what matrescence is. Marvin admitted his relationship changed after having children but he revealed his secret to maintaining it – and it's been 11 years since they first met. They married in 2012 and apart from a short split at the beginning of their relationship, they've been together since 2010. The 38-year-old warned, "Once kids arrive, obviously your time is stretched, for sure, but it’s important to try as much as you can to make time for you as a couple. Take yourself back to the days before you had kids, even if it’s once a month."

It's natural for couples to develop different parenting styles but what works in the Humes household is not having any 'set roles' with both parents being able to hold the fort singlehandedly.

Marvin explained, "I think for Roch and I, because we both work a lot, there aren't really any set roles. We both do the school run, cook, do bathtime and read bedtime stories… we’re not always at home at the same time together, so sometimes one of us has to do all of it and vice versa but that’s what it’s about – partnership and teamwork."

And it pays off, Marvin said, "On our day, we can both be strict. Generally, I reckon Roch is stricter on the girls... I am a bit of a soft touch where the girls are concerned and I think I’m probably stricter with Blake."

Until it's Marvin's time to work away from home and then it really pulls at his heart-strings. Speaking about how he feels, Marvin said, "I definitely feel dad guilt, for sure. I love to be around all the time but unfortunately, that’s not always possible. We’re so lucky to have things like FaceTime which definitely helps. Generally when I’m working, if I’m DJing, I always want to get home so I can give them a kiss goodnight and wake up with them in the morning."

One part of parenting that he's got sussed is noticing when he needs to step in to help Rochelle share some of the parenting load. "All parenting can be challenging and of course, there are times when it can be stressful, especially if you’re by yourself. I think it’s just natural, you can pick up a vibe if things are getting a bit too much. Before it even gets to that, it’s about sharing the load and working as a team to divide and conquer."

Marvin was speaking on the launch of the Ninja Valentine's Day Hinting Service to make sure people get what they really want for Valentine's Day (an air fryer). The service sends a message to your significant other to tell them exactly which model you want! Just enter your email via the link, to receive your hinting postcard template and a discount code to get a Ninja Air Fryer MAX PRO 6.2L AF180UK for £99.99, a gift sweeter than chocolate.

In other entertainment news, Matt Edmondson just shared his genius parenting hack for picky eaters – and we're not surprised it works so well and gameshow host Stephen Mulhern on why board games are better than computer games (and how you can get your kids to make the swap).